


Call It What You Want

by roxypony



Series: Dirty Chai AU [2]
Category: Cirque du Freak | The Saga of Darren Shan - Darren Shan, Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Copious Sass, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Humour, M/M, Sass, humour and romance, just another day in vampire mountain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 63,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24380647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roxypony/pseuds/roxypony
Summary: SEQUEL TO THIS IS USThere is an indentation in the shape of you. Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo.***After an an accidental hookup during a moment of weakness, Mika and Kurda slowly come to terms with the fact that they've caught feelings for each other. Fasten your seatbelts for turbulence. Murda is still the endgame.
Relationships: Arra Sails/Mika Ver Leth, Mika Ver Leth/Kurda Smahlt, platonic arrow/kurda, platonic mika/arrow
Series: Dirty Chai AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1840576
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	1. But We Were Dancing

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back everyone! If you've been following This Is Us, you're up to speed. If you haven't, this story should be able to stand alone but it's a lot better if you read that first! :) Basically once upon a time years ago I had two dreams for Mika and Kurda. 1- finish the comedy story (now called This Is Us) where they accidentally adopt the baby and raise it in V. Mtn. And 2 - write a separate, non-comedic romance for them that was sliiiiiiightly more true to canon. So because I don't think I'll ever have the time or motivation to start over and re-write a different storyline with the same endgame, I'm combining those two concepts into one and hoping for the best. This Is Us centred around M&K stumbling their way through parenthood and slowly realizing that not only are they capable of sorta getting along, they may even have something that resembles chemistry. Call It What You Want will take some of the spotlight off the co-parenting aspect and try to figure their shit out.
> 
> Chapter 1: But We Were Dancing
> 
> Song: Dancing With Our Hands Tied by Taylor Swift
> 
> (No lie guys, the ENTIRE Reputation album could be Mika/Kurda anthems from various points in their relationship. It was one of the first things I realized when it came out years ago.)

And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis  
People started talking, putting us through our paces  
I knew there was no one in the world who could take it  
I had a bad feeling  
But we were dancing  
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied  
Yeah, we were dancing  
Like it was the first time, first time  
Yeah, we were dancing  
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied  
Yeah, we were dancing  
And I had a bad feeling  
But we were dancing

***

Most vampires don't keep calendars, but Kurda did. So he knew that 9 and a half months had passed since the day he and Mika had dropped Grace off at the human boarding school. September, October, November, and December flew by. Grace called them almost every day; their lives revolved around waiting for the ancient military phone to ring. The phone worked perfectly though, Paris had outdone himself. Grace told stories of her new friends and eagerly recounted her lessons in vivid detail. She was thriving, it was the best thing outcome they could have hoped for. Then they brought her back to Vampire Mountain for Christmas break and it was marvellous, of course. It came and went too quickly for Mika and Kurda's liking but Grace was just as happy to go back to school as she was to come home. So then came the winter. At the ripe old age of seven, Grace seemed to gain a whole new wave of independence and their phone chats became less frequent. Once a week if that. Of course this made Mika and Kurda feel so much better knowing she was content, but Vampire Mountain just didn't feel like home without her. At one point they briefly discussed the night in the motel. The night that occurred when several stressful weeks cumulated in an emotionally charged argument which took a detour to them slowly exploring every inch of each other's bodies over the course of one night. The only conclusion they came to was that A) it happened, and B) neither of them regretted it. But if there was a correct way to navigate their convoluted puzzle of a relationship, they didn't know what it was. Without Grace's presence pulling their lives together, they found themselves moving in parallel lines. Existing side-by-side, but never connecting.

So when Mika had a chance to leave the mountain on a mission, he leapt at it. He extended a perfunctory invitation to Kurda which was graciously declined. He was happy for Mika though. Mika had always loved travelling but he'd purposely avoided it for Grace's sake when she was in their care. Now he was free to go wherever he pleased. He left late January, saying only he would return to the mountain in time for Grace's summer vacation.

So, two more weeks according to Kurda's calendar. All he knew was that he missed them both, Grace and Mika. And that he was angry at himself for letting those four months slip away. For one unprecedented moment they were tangled up together in a motel bed, then the next they were back home and it was as if it never happened. They tiptoed around each other, afraid to say the wrong thing. The initial awkwardness slowly morphed into apparent denial. The monotony of this new dynamic was almost worse than the decades before Grace came along, where they'd practically search for reasons to snipe at each other whenever. But at least they'd felt something during those days, even if it wasn't affection. It was better than the four months of nothing that dragged on like eternity before Mika got up one day and left without a backwards glance. Kurda didn't blame him, but he missedhim. There was no way around it. But in two weeks, Mika would be home. And they'd flit to St. Al's and bring Gracie home. And then all would be right in the world. Right?

There had been one mildly interesting development in Kurda's life during the wasteland of time that spanned January to June. His relationship with Arrow began to resemble something that could almost pass for friendship if you weren't paying attention. Until this point, Kurda and Arrow's almost thirty year timeline went something like this. Or at least this is how Kurda imagined it looked from Arrow's point of view:

1 - This blond guy doesn't like to fight? Fuck this guy.

2 - This guy isn't in favour of mass elimination of the entire Vampaneze race? Fuck this guy.

3 - He's a General now too? Fuck this guy.

4 - Now Mika's a Prince and I'm still stuck being Generals with Kurda? Fuck this guy.

5 - Haha fuck you Kurda I'm a Prince now too.

6 - Why the fuck is he still here? Why do we keep getting stuck working with him? Fuck this guy.

7 - Mika what the fuck do you mean you adopted a baby with this guy?

8 - I would literally die for this baby. And if Mika can raise a child with the blond weirdo I guess I can share my oxygen with him from time to time.

9 - Okay he's kind of funny. Still a weirdo but he's our weirdo now.

10 - Mika what the fuck do you mean you're running away with Arra for six months and leaving me alone with just Kurda and Paris? Fuck you Mika.

Arrow wasn't actually mad at Mika for leaving, but he did get a little mopey from time to time. It had been a slow year in Vampire Mountain. No big funerals, investitures, trials, or festivals worth noting. So Kurda and Arrow found themselves... hanging out. Maybe they'd just become used to a certain routine in recent years; which involved them both orbiting Mika as if he was some kind of dark, moody little sun. Kurda orbited because they were raising an entire child together and it was necessary. Arrow orbited because he and Mika were essentially a pair of co-dependent frat boys, to put it poetically. See, after Sarah's death, Arrow was left with a vast ocean of love in his heart that suddenly had nowhere to go. So he funnelled it into Mika - the only person he knew was too stubborn to die. And by extension, that love now belonged to Grace as well. And despite Arrow's best intentions over the years, Kurda also became collateral.

To summarize, Kurda and Arrow had each found their places in the world around Mika for different reasons. So with him suddenly gone, they inadvertently found themselves finding a little bit of him in each other. It was an unspoken agreement: "I'll be your Mika if you'll be mine." It wasn't the same, but it was a temporary placeholder that suited them fine. They never spoke of it but there was a mutual realization that Mika was basically a combination of both of them, and he oscillated back and forth as needed. He and Arrow had a common passion for the art of war, ale-drenched revelry, and respect for the unique responsibilities that came with their positions. While Mika and Kurda shared their razor-sharp wit, logic, infallible reasoning skills, a penchant for sarcasm... oh, and a kid.

The day Kurda hit the two week mark on his calendar was the same day Dean Warwent and his student Gareth Tarl made their way into Vampire Mountain. Dean hadn't set foot in the mountain since the now-legendary day years ago in which he had let loose a couple of very distasteful remarks at Kurda's expense, which led to Kurda thinking "You know what? Fuck pacifism for the next five minutes". He challenged Dean to a duel and immediately broke his entire jaw. He didn't even need the full five minutes.

Anyway. Dean was back, and he had news regarding a band of rogue vampires that were up to shenanigans somewhere in Malta. Kurda and Arrow happened to be sitting in the Hall of Princes together when Dean arrived. It was just the two of them, and Kurda had been sitting on Mika's throne presenting Arrow with a series of riddles and watching him attempt to figure them out. They had nothing better to do that particular day. Technically non-Princes weren't allowed on the thrones but it was easier to have a conversation while sitting close together, so Arrow let it slide. Guarding the Stone of Blood could be an awfully lonely task and he was secretly grateful when Kurda came to visit him. But when the doors slid open, Kurda swiftly made his way down to the front pew and acted like he'd been there all along. Dean refused to acknowledge Kurda as he relayed his news to Arrow. And that was just fine by Kurda. He didn't hold a grudge, but he didn't exactly wish the man well either. Arrow also held a very low opinion of Dean - it was one of the things he and Kurda bonded over. But Dean's news was actually relevant so Arrow heard him out. Although he did it while propping his face up on his fist and assuming a disdainfully bored expression.

"...anyways, I linked up with Sire Ver Leth's group about two months ago. Heard he had a few cubs in his troop and I thought Gareth could use some time training with kids his own age, and-"

"How's Mika?" Arrow interrupted. "Any news of his whereabouts?"

That was the other thing. Mika had been annoyingly lax in communication between both Mika and Kurda. Kurda relayed details from all Grace's phone calls through their mental link and Mika was always glad to hear what she was up to - but if it was anything not related to Grace, he sent a short vague reply if he even replied at all. Kurda had sort of expected that; but it disappointed him nonetheless. Even Arrow admitted he was experiencing the same. But Mika was a grown-ass man so all they could do was give him the space he apparently needed.

"Sire Ver Leth is making the most of his travels. He's certainly had an eventful little vacation." Said Dean with a gleam in his eye that Kurda didn't like. And he could tell Arrow didn't either. They both sat up a little straighter in their respective seats. "He's one tough son of a bitch, there's no doubt about that."

"That's how you speak about a Vampire Prince?" Kurda snapped despite himself. Dean wheeled around and his eyes narrowed upon seeing Kurda.

"If it isn't General Smahlt." He drawled, voice silky and oozing with semi-disguised malice. "Didn't recognize you without the kid hanging off your neck."

Kurda felt his temper rise but he laughed brazenly and looked Dean right in the eye.

"I'm glad you said that, Dean. It's getting a little dull around here. I'm ready for round two if you are - I had so much fun last time. Looks like your jaw healed up nicely - I can tell by how you're flapping it."

Dean went red and Arrow laughed approvingly.

"But seriously, Dean. If you have an update on Mika and Arra, that would be grand." Said Arrow with a steely glint in his eye. "Otherwise, you're free to go fuck yourself."

"My apologies, Sire." Dean grunted. "Sire Ver Leth has been hard at work with Arra Sails' help, investigating leads on the human scientist believed to be capturing vampires and experimenting on them - we believe Mika's targets were results of mind-altering experiments. But it's all just rumours and I don't have any extra information beyond what I just said. If Mika uncovers any new information I'm sure he'll share it upon his return."

"I've heard about that too." Arrow rumbled thoughtfully. "I hope it's just a rumour."

"Time will tell." Dean shrugged unconcernedly. "Anyhow, I think you can expect him back within the next couple weeks. Last I heard he was charting a course for the mountain. But I'm surprised he's coming back at all, I mean he's been having a real time out there. Course he had a rocky start but he made a hell of a comeback-"

"Comeback?!" Arrow snapped. "Comeback from what?"

A thin, greasy smile slowly stretched across Dean's sallow face while Arrow's eyes narrowed fiercely. Kurda felt his stomach do something strange.

"Have you fallen out of touch, Sire Arrow? I remember the two of you being thick as thieves. I'm surprised he didn't tell you. He got into a bit of a scrape, and apparently they fought like the devil himself. Don't know their names so don't ask. All I know is he barely got out with his life. Had to lie low for a month before getting back at it. But then again, I'd lay low too if I had Miss Sails as my travelling companion. It's no secret that girl's on a mission to climb the ranks sooner than later, and she's got no qualms about climbing a Prince if it gets her where she wants to go."

Dean winked unpleasantly. Kurda felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Arrow scoffed.

"Oh, yeah. No need to worry about your dear friend." Dean continued. "From what I've heard, he's in excellent company with her. Not that he'd ever share the intimate details of his grand life with little old me, but last I saw them together... well, I wouldn't be surprised if they come back as Vampire Mountain's next big power couple or something. Bah! But I suppose that's not my news to share, you'll see him soon enough."

Kurda could practically hear the gears of time slowly grinding to a halt as Dean's words scorched his mind. He prayed neither Dean nor Arrow could see that the blood had drained from his face.

"Thank you for the updates. Now goodbye." Said Arrow dismissively, crossing his arms and glaring disdainfully down at Dean. He bowed stiffly and left with Gareth trailing along behind him like a beaten dog. Kurda scanned Arrow's face for a reaction but the tattooed Prince's expression was unreadable. Unlike Mika, Arrow did not have a finely tuned poker face so based on his lack of visible emotions, Kurda suspected he was still processing.

Arrow sat and scratched his head for several moments as Kurda felt his chest tighten. The room started to spin and he was grateful to be sitting down. Mika and Arra? He knew they'd sort of had a thing, like three decades ago before Kurda had known either of them. But that was old news. He also knew Mika had been Arra's mentor once, although he wasn't the one who blooded her. They had a long-standing friendship, similar to Mika and Arrow's. Was she a great vampire? Certainly. Did Kurda like her? Sure. His child was even middle-named after her. But Arra didn't enjoy spending long periods of time in one place, unlike Mika and Kurda who took up semi-permanent residence in the mountain. She just wasn't around that often, therefore Kurda didn't spare her a lot of attention. But apparently that wasn't the case for Mika. The same Mika who had gently cradled Kurda in his arms and kissed his forehead that night last year. The same Mika who felt compelled to leave on some six month vacation to "find himself" or whatever, sustain some sort of catastrophic injury along the way, tell no one, play around with some heavy-duty reconnaissance and again tell no one, and somewhere in the midst of all that find time to do... something, apparently... with a person Kurda considered part of his unofficial extended family.

Last month he'd had a brief interaction with Mika via their mental link. Gracie had gotten Kurda on the phone and read him the short story she'd written for language arts. Kurda had swiftly written every word so that he could relay it along to Mika. When he did connect to Mika's mind, he could practically feel the happiness radiating back. And despite their spotty communication, that interaction gave him hope. Now he was starting to wonder if Mika had just been curled up with Arra somewhere the entire time.

"...I guess that sort of makes sense? I remember he used to be head over heels for her but that was forever ago. I'd forgotten. I kind of always figured Arra and Crepsley would-" Arrow was slowly analyzing the situation out loud to himself but Kurda wasn't listening. Between the blood rushing in his ears, his rapidly decreasing ability to breathe, and the fact that his brain had spontaneously decided to replay the stormy night in the motel like some sort of horribly-timed highlight reel, Kurda decided this day needed to be over now.

"Where are you going?" Arrow asked with apparent dismay as Kurda stood up abruptly.

"Need some fresh air." He informed Arrow curtly.

"You alright? You look green." Arrow inquired with mild concern.

Kurda didn't answer. What could he have said?

"Yes, Arrow. After years of low-key sexual tension, your best friend and I finally made sweet love in a motel room which was all well and good until we got home and proceeded to ignore each other for half the year. Then I find out he spent the past six months roaming the world and forming an alleged power couple with a friend who I allowed our child to call "Auntie". And in two weeks from now we'll all be back here living in this rock like a big happy family. So I feel fucking great! Don't worry about me!"

So instead of opening that can of worms, he just walked.

***

I, I loved you in spite of  
Deep fears that the world would divide us  
So, baby, can we dance  
Oh, through an avalanche?  
And say, say that we got it  
I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted  
Oh, 'cause it's gravity  
Oh, keeping you with me  
I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets  
Picture of your face in an invisible locket  
You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it  
I had a bad feeling  
But we were dancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope nobody is too mad at Mika OR Arra for this one! Remember, we've only got one side of the story so far ;)
> 
> PS - I had to create the character of Dean Warwent to function as a complete douchebag because I like the canon characters way too much to have any of them fill that role. I really enjoyed letting Kurda punch him in the last story and I feel like it'll happen again.
> 
> That's it for now, see you soon for chapter 2! Mika is due for some introspection of his own.
> 
> \- Roxy


	2. These Hills Have Eyes (And I Got Paranoia)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Watch me, take a good thing and fuck it all up in one night"
> 
> ***
> 
> Running away from his troubles seemed like a good idea at the time. A bit of heavy-duty Mika introspection, and some light Mika/Arra because nothing can ever be simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright fam! Here's another chapter that I really enjoyed writing. There's not a lot of dialogue in this one but we're going to find out what Mika's been up to this whole time. I LOVE writing Mika, man he's so interesting. I always think of Arrow as my favourite DSS character but Mika is hands-down my favourite to write. I did writing a bit of Arra in here as well. 
> 
> PS - as I write these, I very much envision my fan cast in my head as I do so. When I eventually get hired to cast the big-budget reboot of DSS, I will have Luke Evans play Mika and Jaimie Alexander (Sif from Thor) as Arra. Just imagine it. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Chapter 2: These Hills Have Eyes (And I Got Paranoia)
> 
> Song: I Think I'm OKAY by Machine Gun Kelly, YUNGBLUD, & Travis Barker

Watch me, take a good thing and fuck it all up in one night  
Catch me, I'm the one on the run away from the headlights  
No sleep, up all week wasting time with people I don't like  
I think something's fucking wrong with me  
Drown myself in alcohol, that shit never helps at all  
I might say some stupid things tonight when you pick up this call  
I've been hearing silence on the other side for way too long  
I can taste it on my tongue, I can tell that something's wrong but  
I guess it's just my life and I can take it if I wanna  
But I cannot hide in hills of California  
Because these hills have eyes, and I got paranoia  
I hurt myself sometimes, is that too scary for ya?

***

Mika's mind spun for four months straight. From the moment his and Kurda's bodies parted ways in that motel bed in September, to when he finally inhaled the sharp night air as he left the mountain in the first week of January.

He was quite used to having a few too many thoughts rattling around in his head at any given time; that was one of the milder side effects of being a borderline-neurotic overachiever. He was no stranger to anxiety, in fact it was his roommate. Arrow and Kurda sort of had a vague idea, but even they didn't truly know the extent to which Mika's mind put him through the wringer. He simply hid it remarkably well. (Whether or not that's a healthy coping mechanism is an entirely different conversation). The clan only saw the aloof, detached version of him he wanted them to see, and that was how he liked it. But the adventitious change in his relationship Kurda was a curveball he wasn't totally equipped to handle. There were too many what-ifs, too many words unsaid. And when neither Mika nor Kurda proved capable of saying any of them, the unspoken thoughts turned into silent restlessness that became harder and harder to live with by the day. The very notion that he might share something more than friendship with Kurda Smahlt caused his brain to unravel itself entirely, and he wasn't proud of how he handled it. Or more accurately, didn't handle it.

Then Grace came home for Christmas break for two lovely weeks, and happily went back to school once again. She'd settled in so well, the girl never skipped a beat. She was well-adjusted, she was happy wherever she was. Whether with her adopted vampire family, or the one she'd found at her school. And once Mika had accepted that, he could finally give himself permission to start living his life again.

He had started feeling trapped in the halls of his once-beloved Vampire Mountain, so when presented with an opportunity to take on a mission that required some globetrotting, he jumped at the chance. There had been a handful of vampires reported missing that year. Friends of the missing reported hearing them call for help telepathically but when they tried to track them it was impossible. They journeyed for Vampire Mountain and begged the Princes to seek them with the Stone of Blood. But even the ancient magical artifact couldn't pinpoint them. That would have made sense if they were dead, but their mind links were still active - but unreachable. And this news came at the same time which new rumours surfaced that there was some sort of rogue human scientist somehow capturing and experimenting on vampires. It was all very unsettling. The Princes agreed to launch an investigation and Mika immediately volunteered. He gathered up a handful of vampires including a couple Generals and a few of the higher-caliber youngbloods. Among the group was his ex-student and dear friend Arra Sails. He felt obligated to offer Kurda a spot on his team as well, but was secretly relieved when he politely declined. So off they went, and within days Mika was starting to feel like his old self again. Plus it was good to spend some time with Arra again - she'd always been happiest on the road, so with Mika spending the majority of his time in the mountain, they didn't cross paths nearly as much as they used to.

The mission got off to an excellent start, but then it all went haywire one bloody night. They were staking out an old warehouse where some of Vampire Mountain's Most Wanted had been reportedly hiding out. There was evidence they were linked to the disappearances somehow. The plan was to stealth-capture one of the men and interrogate him at a different location. And to carry out the entire mission without leaving a trace that they'd been there, lest their targets relocate and force them back to square one. But of the youngbloods misread a signal and went in too early, and that toppled the first domino of events that led to Mika dealing with five crazed assailants at once with no backup. These vampires were like nothing he'd ever encountered before. He fought harder than he ever had in his life but it wasn't enough. He thought he was going to die there, broken and bleeding in a dead end between two buildings. He thought fondly of Gracie one last time, and the world went dark.

Of course, he didn't die but for a while he wished he had. For two days he was unconscious, and once he woke up it was another two days before he could remember his own name. The pain was all-consuming. His first memories from after the attack were of Arra sitting on the bed beside him, worry lines on her face as she begged him to lay still "just one more minute" so she could reset his arm which had broken in three different places.

She and a few others had somehow driven off the attackers and dragged him into an abandoned house. While he was incapacitated, Arra had audaciously taken up command and sent the youngbloods and even the Generals onwards with new orders. In the meantime she stayed behind with Mika. He was left with a handful of broken bones, deep lacerations, and blunt force head trauma which was really the icing on the cake. And he really had to hand it to Arra, because she informed him that he'd been "an even bigger bitch than usual" while his memory was on vacation. That made him laugh as much as his shattered ribcage would allow. In the following days, he realized he'd missed her more than he thought.

"Wow, Mika. She's basically a pretty version of you." Arrow had noted offhandedly many years ago, as they watched her duel another youngblood in the mountain to practice for her trials. The other guy was twice her size but she had him on the floor in less than two minutes.

Oh gods, he was right. Mika now found himself thinking years later. They were so damn similar. On the fifth day of bed rest, he told Arra he was ready to get out of the house and catch up with the rest of the team. She then served him with a verbal beatdown so stunning, he was afraid to speak again for the rest of the day. There was no one quite like her. She was so witty, so tough, so smart.

When it came to Mika and Arrow, most assumed they were the same person in different packaging. But while their personalities were indeed quite similar, there were also distinct differences between them. Then there were Mika and Kurda; vastly different people who inexplicably happened to compliment each other well. (At least they had at one point. What happened there again?) But Mika found he could read Arra in ways he couldn't read the others. And that was saying something, considering he knew Arrow and Kurda like the backs of both his hands. And just like how it would have been impossible for Kurda to take Arrow's place in his life or vice-versa, Arra was yet a different entity from either of them.

A vampire heals in a fraction the time it would take a human - but even that wasn't fast enough for Mika. He was hardwired to be up and in charge, so lying in bed all day and being cared for didn't sit well with him. After exactly one week of bed rest, he got into a yelling match with Arra because she refused point-blank to help him to his feet, insisting it was too soon and he needed to rest more. They hollered at each other for ten minutes straight before she coldly informed him,

"If you're really ready to go for a walk, then you shouldn't need my help getting off that bed."

Then she left the house to hunt for the rest of the night, knowing exactly what Mika was going to do and not feeling sorry for him in the slightest. Sure enough, the second Mika heard the door shut, he dragged himself up onto his feet to which his body said "you're an idiot" and he fell to the floor where he lay in agony until Arra came back several hours later and begrudgingly helped him back into the bed. He'd known his hip was broken, and he'd known trying to walk this early was a fool's errand but he couldn't help himself. He loathed being bedridden. Truthfully, his premature attempt to walk had caused some unnecessary aggravation to his fractured hip because it hurt noticeably worse afterwards. But he would take that secret to his grave otherwise Arra would never let him hear the end of it. It was another week and a half before he tried again - this time with her assistance. All he did was limp slowly across the room but it was most alive he'd felt in months. And then without warning, she kissed him.

His first thought was how stark the contrast was between Arra's kiss, and the first time he kissed Kurda. When Arra kissed him, his body stiffened in surprise for a fraction of a second - not long enough for her to clock it. But he remembered every single detail about kissing Kurda and there was no such hesitation, not even a millisecond. In hindsight, it had been a long time coming.

But that felt like a lifetime ago, and Kurda was a thousand miles away. Literally of course, but even when they were in the same room they'd never felt so far apart. Mika didn't know how to fix it, he didn't know if it was fixable, and he didn't know if Kurda even wanted it fixed. So when Arra leaned in, he did too. Took him a minute, but he did it. The kiss lasted for several moments, and then it was over. At least until the next day. And the day after that. One thing lead to another, and they found themselves waking up side by side on more than one occasion. The night Mika spent in the motel with Kurda had been a slow, glorious burn, but hooking up with Arra was its own kind of fire. Well, as much fire as he could handle with a half-healed hip fracture.

"Don't worry, I'll go slow. I don't want to hurt you." She'd tease him with a sly sparkle in her eye. And they made it work - there wasn't much else to do.

They spent another two weeks living in the abandoned house. Gradually his bones fused back together, his wounds sealed over, and his body felt less like he'd been hit by a train. The night they left the house after a month of hiding out was the first time he kissed her, rather than the other way around. Until that point, Arra had been the one to initiate each encounter. (Although Mika reciprocated graciously every time). But as they took one last look back at their temporary shelter, the air was so fresh and he was so relieved to be alive, and Arra... was just there. So he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pressed his lips against hers. She joked about taking him back into the house one last time, he laughed and considered it for a moment. But they headed on to rejoin the rest of the group.

What they had wasn't particularly deep or soulful. If two uncommitted, consenting, grown adults wanted to enjoy each other's bodies recreationally from time to time, they figured why the hell not? Arra wasn't one to bring emotion into anything, and Mika was rather enjoying taking a holiday from emotions. Last year had been so complicated, it was exhausting. So he found himself living in the present and loving it. The only item of importance on his horizon was the last day of June when he would go retrieve Gracie from school, but until then these few months belonged to him.

When Mika and Arra reunited with the travelling group, they received a hero's welcome. They were so surprised Mika was alive, he had to wonder if his injuries were worse than he realized or if they all just had less faith him in him than he thought. Either way, spirits were high when they found the nearest town and went on a bender so grand it put the Festival of the Undead to shame.

The only thing tarnishing the shine of those next few months was the presence of Dean Warwent and his downright lame apprentice Gareth Tarl. They'd linked up with the group in Mika and Arra's absence. But Dean was frustratingly useful, he seemed to know a little something about everyone and everything. So Mika was hesitant to send him packing. Not to mention he didn't want to come across as holding a grudge from the brief exchange a few years ago that lead to Kurda breaking Dean's jaw. (But to be perfectly clear, Mika was absolutely holding a grudge on Kurda's behalf. Thank goodness for his exceptional poker face allowing him to retain some professionalism even when he was strangling someone in his mind).

So the next two months played out with a healthy amount of espionage, back-alley detective work, turf wars with the Vampaneze, and of course no shortage of inebriation. Mika couldn't pinpoint when exactly the adventure started to lose its appeal, but it was probably around the time Dean drunkenly walked into the wrong hotel room (the ONE damn night they all treated themselves to nice accommodations after months of sleeping under rocks and trees) and came face to face with Mika and Arra "unwinding" after a what had been a stressful week. Mika has yet to think of anything in the universe that could kill a mood more thoroughly than looking up and seeing Dean Warwent looking back at him. The only thought running through Mika's mind in that moment was "Alright, guess I'm never having sex again." Meanwhile Arra threw a lamp at Dean and he scurried away.

"Can I legally kill him? I can do that, right?" He asked Arra as they lay side by side afterwards, shame-faced like a pair of teenagers who'd just been caught after prom.

"I'm not going to stop you."Arra replied stiffly, staring at the ceiling with blankets drawn up to her chin. They hoped to the gods Dean was too drunk to remember by the next day, but when they rejoined the group in the hotel lobby the first words out of his mouth were-

"Damn, Arra. Is that what it takes to get promoted to General these days? Hardly seems fair!" He smirked obnoxiously as he looked back and forth between them. "Besides, I thought Sire Ver Leth preferred blonds."

Mika's blood boiled like it did that day in the Hall of Games when Dean made a "Trophy Wife" joke at Kurda. The rest of the group held their breaths and waited to see what would happen. Mika wanted to punt the man but instead he took a deep breath, and scowled down at him in the most condescending way he could manage. Kurda would've been proud of his restraint. Arrow would've been disappointed. But Dean was clearly thrown off balance by his reaction which was exactly what Mika wanted. Arra shot Dean a disgusted look, then glanced sideways at Mika as though seeking permission. He nodded to her almost imperceptibly and she throat-punched Dean with such force his larynx almost went into orbit.

-That's my girl.- Mika muttered flatly through their mental link. She flashed him a quick smile before resuming an expression of cool detachment identical to his. On the bright side, Mika felt that Dean's disrespectful ourburst was sufficient cause to send him on his way, so off he went. Good riddance.

But that was the beginning of a downward spiral that had Mika missing home like never before. The group dynamic turned awkward once Dean outed their personal business, and Arra became cold towards Mika. It was blatantly obvious she was trying to disprove Dean's theory that her secret shenanigans were an attempt to rise up the ranks. It was nothing personal and Mika totally understood, but was disappointed nonetheless. The sex had been great but honestly he just missed having someone to talk to. Everyone else tiptoed around him, afraid to say the wrong thing around a Prince. It was always Arra who had never been afraid to challenge him, to question him, to make a damn joke within five feet of him. Their rapport was the only thing keeping him sane. But after Dean's meddling she talked to Mika in the same excruciatingly boring manner that everyone else did, and he'd never felt more alone.

As the group made tracks back to Vampire Mountain, his only light at the end of the tunnel was the rapidly approaching day when he would reunite with Gracie. He missed her so much he was almost willing to trek down to the spider cave and escort Lovely the Tarantula back upstairs to help give her a warm welcome home. Now Arra was so distant, everything with Kurda was FUBAR, and he knew Arrow would be low-key pissed off about being left out of the loop the last six months. And for all of that, Mika knew he had no one to blame but himself.

***

Watch me, take a good thing and fuck it all up in one night  
Catch me, I'm the one on the run away from the headlights  
No sleep, up all week wasting time with people I don't like  
I think that something's fucking wrong with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay now we know where Mika and Kurda's heads are at. Next stop... a reunion! I bet it won't be awkward at all!!! :):):)
> 
> \- Roxy


	3. Someone Take Me Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Now tell me, how did all my dreams turn to nightmares?  
> How did I lose it when I was right there?"
> 
> ***
> 
> Mika's back and Kurda has some thoughts about it. Getting drunk should help, right?

Home  
A place where I can go  
To take this off my shoulders  
Someone take me home  
Someone take me  
Look, I didn't power through the struggle  
Just to let a little trouble, knock me out of my position  
And interrupt the vision  
After everything I witnessed, after all of these decisions  
All these miles, feets, inches  
They can't add up to the distance  
That I have been through, just to get to  
A place where even if there's no closure, I'm still safe  
I still ache from trying to keep pace  
Somebody give me a sign, I'm starting to lose faith

***

Arrow did some soul-searching and after careful deliberation he concluded that yes, Mika's sudden departure followed by months of neglectful silence and clear omission of a few significant life events amounted to treason in his books.

Meanwhile, Kurda had been keeping busy at anything he could possibly find. Every moment his brain could dwell on something other than Mika was a moment well spent. He had several long talks with himself and decided that he was going to take the high road in all this. Technically, Mika had done nothing wrong. He and Kurda had made no promises to each other about anything, so as far as Kurda was concerned, Mika's personal life was none of his business. Technically.

Mika and Arra returned to a great fanfare. The few dozen vampires currently in the mountain were glad for a chance to throw a big party. The mountain was buzzing in the hours leading up to their arrival - everyone was running around rolling barrels of ale up from the basement, preparing a feast, and cleaning up the gaming halls for the inevitable brawls that would break out. It was gearing up to be a grand night. Mika's crew strode into the Hall of Princes to the sounds of boisterous cheering. He allowed himself a brief smile and wave before resetting his face to its default setting which was a stoic blend of indifference and haughtiness. And there was Arra marching next to him wearing an identical expression. They looked like a matched set. As Mika made his way to the throne platform, Kurda noticed he was walking with a limp that wasn't there before. Kurda was seated in the first row of pews with several other higher-ranking Generals so he had a clear view of Mika's face when stopped in front of the thrones containing Arrow and Paris. He looked exactly the same as he did last time Kurda saw him - Kurda didn't know what he'd been expecting but that wasn't it.

"Sire Arrow. Sire Skyle. You both look well. It is wonderful to see you both." Said Mika as he looked up at the other two Princes with a respectful nod. There was an air of formality in his voice that only came out when there was a crowd watching.

"Welcome home, Sire Ver Leth." Said Paris in a voice that wasn't overly loud, but still carried across the spacious room. "I am glad to see you return in good health. You have been missed." The old man's eyes were twinkling. Paris understood that Mika and Arrow were both young vampires and had to spend a certain amount of time away from the mountain but, but he was always more content when they were both nearby. Kurda's eyes drifted to Arrow - he was interested to see how he was reacting to Mika's return with so many eyes on him, but the bald Prince's face was impassive.

"Good to see you back as well, Arra Sails." Paris added as his gaze moved to her. "I hear you've been an exceptionally valuable asset to Sire Ver Leth's team. The clan thanks you for your service."

"I have been honoured to serve at his side." Arra answered. She appeared quite poised but a smile was playing on her lips.

Hmm, thought Kurda. Arra took her seat on the front pew, several meters down from Kurda. Mika ascended the steps up to his throne into which he sank comfortably and breathed a sigh of contentment. He surveyed the room and his eyes quickly landed on Kurda. Kurda nodded in acknowledgment and tried to identify the look on Mika's face - Pity? Regret? Sympathy? But he didn't get very far because Mika's attention was pulled by a General on the other side of the room.

"Sire Ver Leth! Have you confirmed if the rumours are true? About the mad human scientist capturing vampires?!"

Mika grimaced and ran his hand through his jet-black hair. It was longer than last time Kurda had seen him, falling almost halfway to his shoulders.

"Let's put it this way. We weren't able to find out as much information as we hoped, but based on what we do know... we currently have reason to believe that there is a good amount of truth to what you've all been hearing. And I regret to inform you that we did not successfully locate any of the missing vampires. Whoever was behind it stayed a few steps ahead of us. But I do have several leads which I will be sharing with my colleagues imminently. And we will go from there. You will all be updated with any news. I'm sorry I can't offer you more right now."

Mika's voice was even, measured, and sincere. But there was a distinct underlying firmness that clearly said "no more questions."

The three Princes conversed quietly for a moment, then Paris stood up.

"Tomorrow, we will congregate and strategize. But tonight we feast, drink, and fight! You are dismissed!" He ordered with a grin.

Kurda's intentions were wholesome. He was planning on making a point of ensuring his first words to Mika would be sincere, positive, and welcoming. But what came out of his mouth was:

"Have you always walked crooked or did you finally fight someone too tough for you?" It just slipped out matter-of-factly as they found themselves both eating at the same table in the Hall of Khledon Lurt. Kurda got there first, then Mika joined him there. After all, it was still their usual spot.

"There were five someones, and I was lucky to only end up with a fractured hip - still a work in progress as you've noticed - 7 broken ribs, broken clavicle, concussion, temporary memory loss, and a broken arm. The fun kind where the bone comes through the skin." Mika replied nonchalantly, flipping over his right forearm to reveal a jagged scar. Kurda had to admire the fact that he didn't miss a beat. He was completely fine with skipping the small talk in this particular situation.

"That's what happens when you plan your own vacations." Kurda quipped. Mika chuckled ruefully. "This didn't happen when you and I took a trip together."

"Ah, so that's what it was. I knew something felt off." Said Mika conversationally.

"Well, I'm glad you're mostly alright. It's good to see you."

"Likewise. How's it been in the mountain?"

"Not bad. Been a slow year though. Got so bored I had to make friends with Arrow."

Mika looked up incredulously.

"Damn. You two must have been truly lost without me."

"It's not so bad. He's pretty easy to get along with as long as I don't say V-A-M-P-A-N-E-Z-E out loud. Oh, and it helps that I bring him snacks while he's on guarding the Stone by himself. He's not a complicated individual."

"I'm proud of both of you." said Mika with a quick smile. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"Technically you didn't see the actual day. You missed it while you were off on your soul-searching detective-working camping trip." Kurda replied teasingly.

They carried on eating together until it was time to wander down to the Hall of Games and join the party.

"Congratulations on Arra. You two looked like the perfect pair walking in today." Kurda commented pointedly as they made their way down the long stony hallway.

"Congratulations? On what?" Mika answered sharply, shooting Kurda a sideways look.

"Skip the denial, Mika." Kurda sighed. "I already know. It's alright. Seems like you're a good fit."

"Hmm. Kurda, what's your information source for all this? Just curious." Said Mika, still regarding Kurda quizzically.

"Dean came through the mountain a few weeks ago to give Arrow a status update, and I happened to be in the room. Said you and Arra were setting up to be the 'next big power couple' or something. But it's good. It's great. I'm very happy for both of you."

Mika exhaled slowly and Kurda saw a bemused smile creeping across his face.

"First of all, if you accept Dean Warwent's interpretation of anything, you're actually as air-headed as we used to think you were." Mika snorted. "My gods, Kurda. I thought you were way smarter than that. I'm disappointed."

"So... Dean was lying? Is that what we're getting at?" What was the feeling rising up in Kurda's chest? Was it hope?

"I... okay. I guess we're getting straight down to business here." Mika sighed. "Arra and I slept together on several occasions. It was a long trip, we were lonely and bored. That's the truth. But we aren't a - a power couple, or whatever. That's not even on the table right now. Her priority is becoming a General, and mine is... well, you know how my life goes. Plate's full."

Kurda's head was spinning with feelings he couldn't identify. Relief? Betrayal? Mika stopped abruptly and turned to face Kurda.

"Kurda, I never, ever meant to hurt you. And if I did, I am truly sorry."

The dark Prince's face had clouded over with concern as he regarded Kurda carefully. Kurda quickly rearranged his face into something that resembled cool amicability. But you don't just raise a child with someone without becoming able to read them better than that.

"Mika, don't worry about me. I'm serious. I mean, I was a little disappointed when I found out you'd almost been killed and hadn't bothered to tell me, or Arrow at least. But you and I are... well, we're not exactly together. It would be unfair of me to be angry at you for... spending time with someone who also happens to be an important part of your life."

"You know, I think about that night in the motel all the time." Said Mika as he tilted his head and gazed down at Kurda with a strange expression, a mixture of worry and disappointment. "I know neither of us were in a good place when it happened, but I don't regret it. You know that, right?"

Kurda nodded.

"But when we got back to the mountain after that night, I felt lost." Mika continued matter-of-factly. "I didn't know how I was supposed to be feeling. It was like... I don't know, like things were supposed to change for us. But then it was four months of business as usual. Except worse, because you stopped taking to me. At least about anything that mattered. It was like after everything we went through there should have been something on the other side. But instead we just became like... I don't know, 'work friends' or something."

Kurda felt a twinge of annoyance as the fire rose up inside him.

"Maybe you're still concussed, because as I recall you also stopped talking to me about anything remotely important. I believe the last words you said to me before your grand departure were: "Hey Kurda, pass me that chicken wing". I never intended to magically become boyfriends or mates or 'Vampire Mountain's Next Big Power Couple' overnight, Mika. Seriously, don't get me wrong. What I did expect was that our lives would look a hell of a lot different without Grace, and I was right. But I always thought we'd get through it together."

Kurda could see Mika's mind working furiously but the fact that he clearly wasn't able to string together a response gave Kurda an uncharacteristically mean sense of vindication.

"So if leaving for months on end for dangerous missions with minimal contact is going to be your new coping strategy, then I'd like to know so I can prepare to handle things on my own. It's not about Arra, or me. You made a commitment to Grace. So as far as I'm concerned, you're free to do whatever you want with whoever you want as long as you continue to come home in one piece." Kurda finished aggressively. But he immediately felt a sharp sting of regret because Mika looked slightly hurt. "Sorry, that was a little harsh."

"No, you're right." Mika muttered dejectedly, looking at the floor as they started walking again. "I appreciate that you kept me updated on Grace's school stuff. I know I haven't been the best communicator, but hearing about her kept me going. And for what it's worth, I missed you."

"Do you have feelings for Arra?" Kurda asked cautiously after a pause.

"I... I don't think I do. She saved me, and I owe her my life. She didn't have to stay behind and take care of me while the rest of the group carried on, but she did anyway. I had feelings for her once, but it was so long ago, and I've barely seen her the last few years... she's one of my best friends. Decades ago she and I were as close as Arrow and I are now. I think I just missed that."

"You think." Kurda snorted. "You know, when you got hurt you could have reached out to me, or Arrow, or Paris. Any of us would've flitted to you within the hour."

"I was out for two days, Kurda. When I woke up, it was another two before I could even remember my own name. So I'm sorry but I wasn't thinking clearly enough to start going down my emergency contact list. We were living through one day at a time." Mika reasoned, glancing hopefully at Kurda. "Plus... I wasn't ready to come home." He added ruefully.

"That's all well and good, Mika. But all I got from that was how close I came to having to walk into Gracie's school and tell her you're dead."

Kurda could see Mika flinch at his words but that was all, because then Arrow was upon them and the moment had passed. It seemed Arrow had run out of resentment towards his prodigal friend and had tackled him from behind. Within seconds, the two Princes were roaring in laughter as though Mika had only been gone for one day. Kurda felt petty for even thinking it, but he couldn't help but feel a little betrayed by Arrow's change of heart. Kurda had felt a strange sense of validation over his and Arrow's shared frustration at Mika throughout the last few weeks. But he couldn't hold it against Arrow. The man was clearly just elated to have his best friend back. And Kurda realized enviously that Mika and Arrow didn't have any of the complications in their past as Mika and Kurda did. How lovely it must be to have such a clean-cut friendship. No strings, no benefits, no tension. Just unconditional love. At this moment, Kurda figured he'd be just as happy to settle for the platonic variety if it meant they could co-exist contentedly.

So they went to the Hall of Games, they drank, they fought, they laughed, and they drank some more. It was a regular Vampire Mountain shindig. Even Kurda started to feel a little better despite himself. After indulging in some ale he started feeling MUCH better. A tournament had broken out on the bars, loosely refereed by Vanez Blane. Arra Sails was the the undisputed champion, as always. She was toppling vampires like bowling pins. One after the other. She even knocked Mika to the ground when he took his turn. Although Kurda thought Mika was going easy on her, Kurda had buried all of the negative feelings that had beleaguered him all day. He was going to have a good night, gods damn it.

"Who's next?" Arra crowed gleefully as she waved down at the crowd from 30 feet in the air.

"I'll take a turn!" Kurda found himself hollering at a much louder volume than he normally would have. The crowd behind him murmured in amusement, but it was good-natured.

"So are we thinking this is going to end well?" Mika inquired offhandedly as Kurda brushed past him towards the bars. The blond General wheeled back around.

"Are you really still going there after all this time? You know I know how to fight just as well as any of you." Kurda scoffed, with a very distinct slur to his words. Mika shook his head.

"Yeah, yeah. We all know you know can fight." Said Mika impatiently. "What you don't normally do is slurp down half a barrel of ale and then fight. I'm just saying there's room for error here."

Kurda glared determinedly.

"But I believe in you, and all that. Have at it." Mika chuckled with a ghost of a smile.

"I don't have all night, Smahlt!" Arra laughed from the top of the bars. "Get up here or let someone else have a turn!"

The fight lasted all of four seconds. Kurda really thought he had it in the bag. He felt quite confident as he squared up with Arra. At least that was how he remembered it when he woke up.

"Good morning! Have a good sleep?" Came a familiar and notedly sardonic voice as Kurda slowly opened his eyes and realized he was no longer atop the bars, rather laying on the floor below them.

"Ugggghhhh..." Kurda moaned, realizing his entire body felt like he'd fallen off a tall building. But most noticeably, his head. He instinctively began to sit up but was gently restrained.

"No, no. Better stay down for a few more minutes." Said the voice. Which he realized belonged to Mika, who was sitting on the floor currently cradling Kurda's head in his lap. Gods damn it.

"W'happen?"

"You challenged Arra on the bars." Even from where he was, he could tell there was an entertained smirk playing on Mika's lips. "That was two hours ago. Everyone else has moved on or gone to bed but I would've felt like kind of an ass if I left you here. Plus I'm too tired to carry you to your coffin."

"Oh, right... did I win?"

He could feel a quick tremor of laughter through Mika's body but the Prince did a good job of suppressing it.

"Almost."

"Did I at least get a few good shots in?"

"One of you got a good shot in. But just the one."

"Was it me?"

"Yes, Kurda. That's why you're still lying on the floor two hours later."

"Ah, how did I ever survive without listening to that patented Sire Ver Leth sass every day for the past six months?" Kurda croaked out sarcastically.

"We're still at 'Sire Ver Leth'? Come on, I thought that was only for when you're mad at me."

"I am mad at you. You ran away and left me behind with only Arrow for company. I'm glad you're back but that was kind of the cherry on top of a year that was already pretty damn shitty. If we're being honest." Kurda mumbled as he stared drunkenly up at Mika.

"Kurda, I'm really, really fucking sorry. I did what felt right at the time, but I was only thinking about myself. Your feelings are valid." Mika whispered. His voice had a raw, heavy tone to it that Kurda hadn't heard in ages.

"I wanted to resent you for leaving. Fuck, Mika... I tried. But you haven't done anything wrong. Inconsiderate as hell, but not wrong. Plus I couldn't hold a grudge against you if my damn life depended on it. It's really annoying, actually."

"Well, I'm still sorry." Mika replied softly. He was gently stroking Kurda's hair now. But just as Kurda decided he'd be content with falling asleep here, Mika had other plans.

"Let's get your back up to your cell, aye?"

It was like the blind leading the blind. Or more accurately, the drunk leading the obscenely wasted. Mika was pretty thoroughly in the bag, but he could hold his liquor better than Kurda. To be fair, he had a lot more practice. So he patiently led him up through the long trek to the top of the mountain where their cells were located. It took about four times as long as it normally would have since Kurda kept losing is balance, sometimes almost dragging Mika down with him. But Mika succeeded in keeping them both upright, and eventually he finally deposited Kurda in his coffin. Mika had noticed a mop bucket in a corner on their way up and taken it with him; he set it next to the coffin as Kurda sloppily tucked himself in.

"If this hangover is anything like your last one I witnessed, you're gonna need that."

Mika grimaced as he recalled the night in the London hotel several years ago when they got blazingly wine drunk and Kurda vomited spectacularly the next day while Mika was just trying to enjoy a nice bath.

"I repressed that memory." Kurda murmured with his eyes closed as he lay curled in a fetal position.

"Not the whole trip, I hope." Mika countered gently.

"You mean the parts where we got drunk and danced in a bar, you confessed you're the one who had me promoted to General, that you think I should be a Prince someday, and then kissed me? Yeah don't worry, I repressed all of it."

"That's a shame." Said Mika softly. "Personally I like looking back on that night."

"I did for a while, but you're Arra's problem now." Kurda mumbled sleepily, eyes still closed. Mika huffed in exasperation. This was going to take a while to live down.

"Get some sleep. We have a long trip tomorrow. Gracie's waiting."

Mika got up and headed for the door, but he paused for a moment.

"And if you think that I could ever replace you in a thousand years, then you really are an airhead."

But Kurda had already fallen asleep.

***

Now tell me, how did all my dreams turn to nightmares?  
How did I lose it when I was right there?  
Now I'm so far that it feels like it's all gone to pieces  
Tell me why the world never fights fair  
I'm trying to find  
Home  
A place where I can go  
To take this off my shoulders  
Someone take me home  
Home


	4. Cruel Summer Part 1: Devils Roll The Dice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes  
> What doesn't kill me makes me want you more"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys!! Finally a happier chapter :) This two little stories in one because neither felt long enough to be its own chapter.
> 
> Chapter 4: Cruel Summer Part 1 (Devils Roll The Dice)
> 
> Song: Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift

Fever dream high  
In the quiet of the night  
You know that I caught it  
Bad, bad boy  
Shiny toy with a price  
You know that I bought it  
Killing me slow, out the window  
I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below  
Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes  
What doesn't kill me makes me want you more  
***

After some more (sober) soul searching, Mika and Kurda agreed that their best years had been the few that occurred after the day they'd adopted Grace, and the day before she left for boarding school. Before Grace, they were constantly at odds over everything from politics to to strategizing to vampire laws. But during those four-ish years where Grace lived solely in the mountain and took up all of their time and energy, Mika and Kurda were like one person. They were friends - friends who happened to be sharing the responsibilities of raising a child. They planned their days together, they celebrated Gracie's milestones together, they worried together, and they looked out for each other. Years ago when Mika felt he had to overcompensate for taking on a roster of fatherly duties, he started putting so much additional effort into working for the clan that it resulted into a pretty significant case of burnout - so Kurda set about planning a vacation for the three of them. And on the other side of the coin, when Kurda wanted to take on a three-month trip to France to lead some Vampaneze clan negotiations, Mika determinedly flipped his own schedule upside-down so he could solely take care of Grace and make it possible for Kurda to successfully carry out a mission that was important to him. It was during times like that when they were at their best. They were partners. More than friends, but not a mated pair. They were a force of nature all their own, you couldn't put a label on it. Even with Grace being away for the majority of the year, their roles in her life weren't going anywhere. She would need them, and the older she got the harder it would get. So they agreed that the night in the motel was a one-night thing, and from there on out they couldn't risk any more complications.

So things went back to normal. Well, as normal as Vampire Mountain would allow. Mika and Kurda would never again take for granted that Gracie possessed some kind of intrinsic magic that brought sparkle to everything she touched. That whole 10 months of confusion and loneliness seemed to evaporate the first moment they walked her back through the Hall of Princes and every vampire in attendance erupted into a standing ovation to which she waved and bowed enthusiastically. She was a bit of a celebrity within the clan. Mika had worked hard to instil a sense of confidence in her, without bordering on arrogance. It was a very fine line. When one of your dads sits on a throne and answers to "Sire" at his day job, it's easy to accidentally grow up a brat. But he'd done his job seamlessly. Gracie was confident, independent, and most importantly would absolutely take no shit from anyone ever. This served her well in first grade - all the feedback from Headmaster Redford indicated that she was a regular Little Miss Popular. This fact made Mika grin unapologetically while Kurda rolled his eyes. But she was also everything Kurda hoped she would be - inquisitive, empathetic, open-minded, and perpetually kind. All they'd ever wanted for her was safety, happiness, and good health. But she'd far surpassed their expectations, unequivocally becoming the best of both of them. They didn't think they could love her any more than they already did, but with every passing day of her summer break they were proven wrong. It was so good to have her back - and by extension, each other.

There was a small lake about two kilometres from Vampire Mountain that Kurda had discovered while mapmaking several years ago. They'd visit on occasions it was warm enough to enjoy. Grace had learned to swim there one year prior. On her fourth night home for the summer, Kurda decided to take her fishing.

"Fishing? Kurda, have you ever fished in your life?" Mika snorted when Kurda told him the plan early in the evening before Grace had woken up.

"Well, no. But how hard could it be?" Kurda shrugged. "I get the basic idea of how it's supposed to work. Put the worm on the hook, put the hook in the water, pull it back when you get a nibble. Simple!"

"Are there fishing poles in Vampire Mountain I'm not aware of?"

"As a matter of fact, yes there are! They're several centuries old but I don't think the fish will mind."

"Hmm. Learn something new every day." Said Mika with a suppressed smile.

"Well, are you coming with us or not?" asked Kurda impatiently. "The fish won't wait all night. The best time to catch them is early morning or early evening. At least, I think so."

"Of course I'm coming." Said Mika matter-of-factly. "You putting a worm on a hook? Wouldn't miss that for anything. I'll wake Gracie up, you go find your ancient fishing poles."

The sun hadn't fully set when the three of them left the mountain, but it was low enough in the sky that it was obscured by the western mountain range. That meant they could enjoy a bit of daylight without putting themselves in danger. The light made their skin slightly itchy, but nothing that would cause any real damage. Besides, the sun was sinking lower by the minute.

"Found a worm, dad!" Said Grace as she pawed through a mud puddle on the shore.

"What a beauty!" Said Kurda with a grin. "All plump and juicy. Let's get it on the hook! Quick, grab him before he gets away!"

Gracie looked up at him like he'd just said something atrocious.

"I'm not touching that!" She gasped in disgust, lurching backwards.

"Gracie, remember when you introduced me to Lovely while I was eating and made me faint in front of all of my friends and colleagues?" Mika called from a few feet away where he was lying on his back the grass without a care in the world. Grace wrinkled her nose.

"No."

"Well, I guess you were only two at the time. Anyway, what I'm getting at is that you are more than capable of handling bugs." Mika smirked.

"Lovely isn't slimey." She scoffed. "You pick up the worm, Daddy."

"Uh... I'll take the next one, Princess. You should have the first one, since you found it. That seems only fair." Mika reasoned with a sideways glance. He was maintaining a safe distance.

"No, it's okay! I promise! You can have the first worm!" Grace countered with a sly grin.

"I'll pick up the worm." Kurda sighed with mock exasperation. "Some days I don't know which of you is the bigger Princess."

"It's Daddy." Said Grace immediately, pointing at Mika. Kurda hooted in laughter while Mika rolled his eyes. "He's always like: Ugh, my throne is dusty. Ugh, everyone is annoying, Ugh, my ale is too warm. Ugh, stop putting Lovely in my coffin-"

"I stand by all of that." Mika grumbled. "But I do not say 'ugh' that much."

"Welllllllll..." Grace and Kurda chorused, exchanging a glance.

"That's it, you're both going in the lake." Mika growled as he stood upright. But there was a sparkle in his eye that Kurda hadn't seen in at least a year. He scooped up Grace as she shriek-laughed in mock protest, then he leaped off the rocks and they both disappeared under the water for a moment before reappearing, wiping water from their eyes and grinning from ear to ear.

"Are you getting in, or am I dragging you in you in?" Mika asked Kurda seriously as he bobbed in the crystal clear water next to Grace.

"Throw him in! Throw him in!" Grace chanted.

"I came here to fish, and that's what I'm going to do." Kurda replied primly. "I even baited the hook with that big fat worm you two princesses were afraid of - PUT ME DOWN, YOU BARBARIAN!"

Mika had returned to shore just long enough to pluck Kurda from the neat folded blanket upon which he was sitting, and toss him unceremoniously into the water before jumping back in himself.

"Am I a princess or a barbarian, Kurda? You seem to be a little confused." Said Mika innocently as they treaded water.

"You'd better sleep with one eye open, Sire Ver Leth." Kurda growled as he pushed his soaked hair out of his eyes.

"Ooh, scary. You'd be a lot more intimidating if you didn't look like a drowned rat, General Smahlt." Mika retorted, with a thoroughly amused smile playing on his lips. Kurda rolled his eyes but he couldn't keep himself from smiling back. To save face, he sent a splash of water in Mika's direction.

"I'll show you a barbarian."

Two Weeks Later:

"Summer homework at age seven? Kurda, what the hell kind of school did we send her to?" Mika winced as he perused a piece of paper that outlined a fairly lengthy assignment Grace had been tasked to complete over the summer. Kurda had found the sheet tucked in her backpack and brought it to the Hall of Princes to show Mika. It was early morning so the rest of the mountain was asleep. He was slightly concerned she'd neglected to mention it. He took a seat on the throne next to Mika's and they reviewed it together.

"Alright, looks like it won't be that bad." Said Kurda, reading over Mika's shoulder. "Homework can help teach discipline and keep the mind active."

"Not in the summer! That's illegal!" Mika protested.

"Work ethic doesn't take vacations." Kurda shrugged. "I'm shocked you aren't all over this. You're the hardest worker I know. Remember when you-"

"-Fell off the bars that ONE time, yes I know. But even I didn't give a fuck about anything when I was seven." Mika snorted.

"You mean you didn't emerge from the womb as a chronic overachiever?" Kurda retorted cheekily.

"Believe it or not, I spent my childhood summers hitting my brothers with sticks. I left my brain in my book bag til school started back up in September. And I still turned out great."

"Mmhm. So that has nothing to do with the fact you spent all of last Sunday in the Hall of Games with Arrow and Vancha, jabbing at each other with spears?" Kurda teased with a wily grin. 

"We were testing out tactical equipment and trying to develop a better training program for cubs, so spearwork doesn't die with our generation." Mika corrected him haughtily. "It was very important."

"Right. Well, perhaps if Gracie puts a few extra hours of effort into her summer assignment, maybe she'll win a Nobel Peace Prize instead of running around hitting her friends with sticks when she's thirty-five."

"Kurda, out of the two of us - which one has a throne again?" Mika huffed indignantly.

"Technically we're both sitting on thrones right now."

"You're in Paris's throne. I'm in MY throne. Enough said." Said Mika, leaning back contentedly with his hands behind his head and closing his eyes. "Gracie doesn't need extra bookwork. She needs to run around like an idiot and enjoy her life. She's got plenty of time to turn into a workaholic when she's older. But speaking from experience, I'd be equally fine if she didn't."

Kurda looked over at him quizzically.

"Really? You don't want to see her achieve great things?"

"I want her to achieve the things she wants to achieve. What I don't want is for her to spend her life comparing herself to everyone else, overthinking everything, and constantly feeling she needs to prove something." Mika replied swiftly, glancing meaningfully with a raised eyebrow at Kurda.

"Ah." Said Kurda knowingly. "I don't suppose that part is also from personal experience?"

"Gods, no. All of my success is incredibly effortless."

A lesser mortal would not have been able to detect the well-hidden sarcasm in Mika's tone and simply would have registered it as arrogance. But Kurda was no lesser mortal. The blond General suppressed a smirk. Mika looked over at him with a slightly more serious expression.

"Message received. I'll try not to let her inherit your perfectly healthy addiction to success." Kurda promised with his own touch of light sarcasm. "However it's too late to stop her from absorbing your legendary attitude."

Mika rolled his eyes reproachfully.

"I prefer the term 'charisma''."

"Same difference."

Kurda spun sideways in Paris's throne and pulled one of his knees up to his chest in an effort to make himself more comfortable.

"I can't believe you spend upwards of eight hours a day sitting here. I've been here for barely an hour and I think my spine has a permanent bend." The blond General complained.

"Eventually your back just loses all sensation." Mika shrugged, patting the arms of his own throne. "It's almost comfortable if you don't think about it too much."

"Too late. I'm thinking about it." Kurda grumbled, reaching around to massage the spot between his shoulder blades.

"You'll have to get used to it if you want your own someday." Mika countered, shooting a pointed expression Kurda's way.

"Who said I wanted my own someday?"

"Well..." Mika faltered for a moment and looked puzzled. "...doesn't everyone?"

Kurda let out a sharp laugh.

"Believe it or not, Mika... some vampires just want to live a normal, honourable life. What you have is impressive, but isn't for everyone."

Mika swivelled in his throne to gaze shrewdly across at the blond.

"Are you saying you wouldn't accept an investiture if you were nominated?"

Kurda let out a sigh of great exasperation.

"Of course I probably would."

"Probably?! Kurda, I may have been drunk when I told you you'd make an exceptional candidate, but I was being dead serious."

"You? Being dead serious?" Kurda replied sarcastically with a raised eyebrow. "Someone alert the news, this is one for the history books!"

"Alright, I changed my mind. Get off of Paris' throne. Go on, shoo. Go make a map." Mika glared and waved his hand in Kurda's direction as though dispelling a bothersome fly.

"No, it's growing on me!" Kurda chuckled. "Really! I'm starting to see the appeal!" As he said this, he extended his legs so he could set his feet on Mika's throne arm rest. Mika glanced down at them, then back up, completely aghast.

"Kurda John Smahlt, if you get one speck of dirt on my throne I swear on the Stone of Blood they will never find your body."

"That's not my middle name!"

"If you'd tell me what your middle name was, then I'd use that instead."

Neither of them could recall exactly what sequence of events led to the kiss. One minute Mika was awkwardly grappling Kurda's ankle trying to flip him out of Paris's throne, then the next second they were intertwined again. As though the September thunderstorm and the night in the motel had been mere minutes ago. Mika still sitting in his throne, Kurda still in Paris's, and their lips meeting in the space between. It was cautious at first, but quickly turned unapologetic.

"Oops." Mika whispered lazily as they paused for a moment to catch their breath.

"What?" Kurda murmured back, his azure eyes shining in the torchlight. "I'm bored, and you're here."

Mika groaned as he recalled those exact words coming out of his mouth explaining the months he'd spent with Arra.

"Touché, General Smahlt."

Kurda flashed a grin so devious, Mika had no choice but to pull him back in.

***

And it's new  
The shape of your body, it's blue  
The feeling I've got  
It's a cruel summer  
It's cool  
That's what I tell 'em, no rules  
Unbreakable heaven but  
It's a cruel summer  
With you


	5. Cruel Summer Part 2: Angels Roll Their Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Said, "I'm fine", but it wasn't true  
> I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you"
> 
> ***
> 
> In which shenanigans occur and lines are almost crossed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5: Cruel Summer Part 2 (Angels Roll Their Eyes)
> 
> Song: Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift (cont'd)

Hang your head low  
In the glow of the vending machine  
I'm not dying   
We say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times  
We're not trying

So cut the headlights  
Summer's a knife  
I'm always waiting for you  
Just to cut to the bone  
Devils roll the dice  
Angels roll their eyes  
And if I bleed  
You'll be the last to know

Oh, it's new  
The shape of your body, it's blue  
The feeling I've got  
And it's ooh, whoa oh  
It's a cruel summer

***

Several weeks later:

The "camping" was Grace's idea. Some of her friends from school had been talking about the camping trips they took with their families throughout the summer. She thought it sounded like a grand time and wanted to give it a go.

It took Mika longer than he'd like to admit before he agreed to that one. You might already be aware that His Royal Highness Mika Ver Leth is one of the toughest vampires in the clan. Throughout his life he'd spent quality time with nature in every possible condition. In damp caves, under trees, up a tree one time, tunnels in snow banks... you name it, he's slept there at one point or another. As is the vampire way, he takes it without complaint. But that absolutely does not mean he enjoys roughing it. Mika has a great appreciation for the finer things in life and he's not ashamed of it. His coffin was designed for a much larger person than he was, but he liked it that way because he had enough room for his multiple pillows and remarkably-high-thread-count sheets. He felt he'd reached a place in his life where he was allowed to be discerning. Kurda felt he was a snob and told him this frequently.

So that's why Mika and Kurda went hunting in the storage caverns and eventually dug up an old tent and poles to prop it up with. It would be liveable for one night. At least once Kurda promised to do a thorough spider-check before Mika would set foot near it. Mika had just about rolled his ankle when an unassuming arachnid suddenly popped out of the box of tent poles he was carrying, which was then thrown unceremoniously into the air as he spun away to escape. But against all odds, they procured the tent and that was step one.

Step two was packing everything else.

"Grace, I promise you will not need a dress in the wilderness." Kurda noted as he reviewed the contents of her backpack. "And although I'm glad to see you're prepared, I think 15 pairs of socks is overkill."

"But what if I keep losing them?" Grace puzzled as she rolled up her blankets and tied them with a piece of rope.

"If you lose 15 pairs of socks consecutively in less than 48 hours, we've failed you as parents." Mika declared. He was currently occupied with trying to squash a second pillow into his own travel bag.

"Dad, I thought you said we could only bring one pillow each?" Grace inquired with a very pointed look at Mika's bag. Her little eyebrows were raised audacioisly, you'd never know she wasn't biologically a Ver Leth.

"That's right, dear." Said Kurda distractedly. He'd moved on to rolling up his own set of blankets.

"Well, Daddy isn't following the rules."

"Snitch." Mika grumbled.

"Mika!" Kurda scolded as he looked at Mika's bag which appeared to be in danger of tearing at the seams. "You're not above the law. Take one out."

"I am the law." Mika countered, a wry grin spreading across his face. He sat down on the closed lid of his coffin and scooped Gracie up in his lap so he could tickle her.

"Maybe in here." Said Kurda impassively, slightly raising his voice to be heard over her shrieks of laugher. "But we're going out there. You don't need two pillows."

"My broken collarbone says otherwise." Mika argued, touching his hand to his upper chest in mock pain.

"Oh, please. That was six months ago. Yesterday I saw you pick Arrow up and spin him around. You're in peak physical condition." Kurda rolled his eyes.

"I don't stay that way by settling for sub-par neck support, General Smahlt."

"Dad, if Daddy gets to bring two pillows, then I'm bringing my dress." Grace declared haughtily. She wiggled free from Mika's arms and sprinted over to grab the dress off the pile of items Kurda had filtered out of her backpack.

"Princesses! You're both Princesses!" Kurda sighed in exasperation. "Have it your way. But don't come crying to me when you have to pack it all up again at the end of the weekend." The blond threw his hands in the air and went back to neatly packing his own bag. Meanwhile, Mika and Grace exchanged a discreet high-five.

Grace was so excited for the camping trip, she hardly slept the day before they planned to head out. She was practically skipping as the three of them strutted down one of the long passageways that led out of the mountain. They rounded the corner and felt the first heavenly blast of fresh air - and got a face full of rain. It was a full-on hurricane out there.

"This might not work as well as we hoped." Kurda grimaced as Grace started to sob in disappointment.

"It'll be a no from me." Said Mika immediately. "Oh well, we tried."

"I'm so sorry, Gracie!" Kurda groaned as he knelt and folded his arms around her. "We can go another time, I promise!" But the thing about seven-year-olds is that they really like instant gratification, so "another time" might as well be "47 years from now". Mika knelt down next to the two of them.

"Don't cry, Princess." He said gently, reaching out and stroking her hair. "Camping isn't even that fun. Trust me."

Kurda silently mouthed some words at Mika that looked suspiciously like "shut up, you're not helping."

Mika thought long and hard for a moment, and this time his brain didn't let him down. He had an idea.

Two hours later, the tent was up and there was a campfire blazing merrily. But it wasn't in the forest like they'd planned. The tent was pitched in the middle of the Hall of Princes, and the campfire was actually a handful of torches that had been removed from the racks along the walls and placed carefully on the smooth stone floor inside a circle of large rocks. The rest of the torches in the hall had been temporarily extinguished so the flickering makeshift campfire was the only source of light. There was a damp chill in the mountain so the three of them were huddled around draped in blankets and roasting meat kebabs on the fire.

"Alright, you saved the day just a little bit." Kurda admitted, patting Mika's knee. They were sharing the same blanket.

"I've told you on several occasions that I'm more than just a pretty face." Mika shrugged.

"One of these days I might just believe you." Kurda snickered.

It was a beautiful little staycation. They ate through their snack supply, Mika told ghost stories, Kurda taught them all the classic campfire songs, and Grace was just excited she'd finally get to sleep in a tent. There's something about tents that sparks every child's sense of adventure and Grace was no exception. Finally, the moment she'd been waiting for was upon them. The three of them filed into the tent and tucked themselves in. Kurda on the left side, Grace in the middle, and Mika on the right. Mika and Kurda could've fallen asleep on the bare ground with no blankets, but Grace wasn't quite so hardened.

"This isn't as comfy as my coffin." She complained, thrashing around trying to find a comfortable condition. Because it wasn't a very big tent for two and a half people, her sharp little knee inadvertently jabbed Mika in the kidney as she shifted around. A few minutes later, she accidentally rolled over onto Kurda's hair, at which he was unable to stifle a yelp of pain.

"Welcome to camping, Darling. Magical, isn't it?" Mika murmured sleepily, turning on his side so that his back was facing them. He was trying to protect the rest of his vital organs.

"Daddy, can I have your extra pillow? Mine is lumpy."

"Fine." Mika sighed, passing it over without opening his eyes. A second later, Grace tried to toss her lumpy unwanted pillow into the corner of the tent but it landed on Kurda's face instead. Kurda thought Mika had thrown it, so he picked it up and whapped him with it as hard as he could. Mika unfortunately had almost been asleep prior to that point and didn't take kindly to the sudden onslaught. Grace thought it was funniest thing she'd ever seen. It turned into an all-out pillow war which raged for about ten minutes before settling back down. They hoped their antics would tire Grace out enough to fall asleep but alas, no luck. She squirmed around for a few more minutes before sitting up and saying,

"The floor hurts. I'm going to go sleep in my coffin. Night Dad, night Daddy. Love you!" Then she left the tent and didn't look back.

"You have GOT to be kidding me." Mika growled into his pillow once her footsteps had faded into the distance.

"Look on the bright side. We raised a strong independent woman who knows what she wants." Said Kurda.

"True. Well, goodnight. My coffin is calling." Said Mika. He started to sit up to leave but instead he found himself pushed back down on the floor with Kurda's mouth against his.

"I did not spend 2 hours pitching this tent for you to bail on camping." The blond General whispered into his ear.

"You're absolutely right. I don't know what I was thinking." Mika replied in a businesslike manner as he went about removing Kurda's shirt.

It wasn't their first "fling" of the summer. Not by a long shot. The first one was late in the night after their day at the lake. Gracie had gone to bed, and not another soul in the mountain seemed to be awake besides the two of them. They found themselves down in Kurda's old cell, the one he'd vacated when he'd moved next door to Mika years ago. The small room had sat empty since then, and the location was ideal. It was at the far end of a long hall, around a corner so it was separate from the few other rooms in that area. They found themselves ending up there more often than they cared to admit. After the third "slip up" Mika snuck in a box of pillows and blankets to make it cozier. As we've discussed, he's really not a fan of hard ground. But anyway, back to the tent in the Hall of Princes.

"I wonder what our great ancestors think of you banging in front of the Stone of Blood." Kurda said in a much-too-casual manner when they'd finished. He was laying comfortably on his side with Mika's arms wrapped around him. He chuckled as he felt Mika tense up at his words.

"They're not IN the Stone of Blood. They can't actually see what happens here." Mika replied a little too defensively, as though he was trying to convince himself more so than Kurda.

"Sure they can't."

"If so, then you're as guilty as I am."

"I'm just a General." Kurda grinned slyly, head nestled cozily on Mika's upper arm. I don't have to behave THAT well. Unlike you."

"That's it. I'm never sleeping with you again." Mika withdrew his arms from Kurda and rolled over with a huff, so they were laying back to back.

"Isn't that always your intention? How's that been working for you?" Kurda snorted. He also rolled over so he could pepper Mika's neck and shoulder with kisses.

"I mean it this time. I'm revoking your privileges. You are no longer allowed to access my body at your leisure." Said Mika sternly.

"Right, okay then. I give it a day and a half."

"But really, we should stop." Said Mika reluctantly. "What we had before, whatever it was, wasn't broken."

"I'm not trying to fix it." Kurda murmured. "Is this you trying to tell me I'm not as good in the coffin as I think I am?"

"First of all, we've never done it in an actual coffin so I wouldn't know." Mika replied quietly, rolling himself back over so their faces were inches apart. "But I admire your self-confidence."

"So which is it?" Kurda whispered. "Am I that good, or are you just that easy?"

"General Smahlt, I can absolutely assure you that nothing about me is easy." Mika smirked, brushing a strand of golden hair out of Kurda's eyes - the same eyes that were now rolling sarcastically.

"Sorry, I should have phrased that better. I'm acutely aware of how difficult you are." Kurda shot back with a wayward smile.

"Keep that attitude up, and I'm never going to admit you're good in the coffin."

"Oh, shut up." Kurda sighed, effectively silencing Mika with another deep kiss.

Neither of them slept much that summer. Between making Grace's summer vacation was pure delight from start to finish, and fulfilling their never-ending clan duties, and their covert after-hours meetups while the rest of the mountain slumbered, there was a lot going on. But it was different than the time last fall that inadvertently led to almost a whole year of awkwardness. They were both relieved to have that behind them. To prevent it from happening again, they established clear-cut rules. It was strictly recreational. If the day ever came where they couldn't carry on in private without the consequences filtering into their public lives, if anything could potentially affect Grace or the clan, they'd end it. But until that day came, it was sweet, sweet summertime.

But of course, that day did come. Although it wasn't until mid-October. Grace was back at school to take on the second grade, and Mika and Kurda had made up for all of last year's awkwardness and then some. They both knew full well they were treading dangerous waters but one night it almost slipped into a place that's very difficult to come back from.

In the heat of the moment as their bodies rocked lustfully, Mika almost let slip three words that he never, ever imagined he'd be using in such a situation. Three words we're all familiar with. Three words that change everything.

But he stopped himself. They'd agreed, after all. It was all too easy for things to go sideways when feelings got too intense and they couldn't risk losing each other completely. They'd come too far to let anything damage what they'd built. So instead of speaking it into existence, Mika pressed his lip's into Kurda's with such longing it could have almost meant the same thing.

When the heat had subsided and they were laying still, breathing hard and tangled in each other's arms, Mika whispered -

"We can't keep doing this."

Something inside him was praying that Kurda would argue with him. But all he said was,

"You're right."

And with that, summer was over. Neither of them could look the other in the eye - had they been able to, both would have seen unshed tears.

***

I'm drunk in the back of the car  
And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar   
Said, "I'm fine", but it wasn't true  
I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you  
And I, snuck in through the garden gate  
Every night that summer just to seal my fate   
And I screamed, "For whatever it's worth,  
"I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"

He looks up, grinning like a devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's occurred to me that I have NO idea how to write anything even remotely sexually explicit. I dunno man. Something about putting it in writing for these fictional characters I've held close to my heart for over a decade feels so bizarre. So basically, if you're hoping to read something x-rated you ain't gonna find it here. I'm gonna be like, classy and vague about it and let you use your imaginations I guess.
> 
> Chapter 6 coming soon! Take care, much love to all!
> 
> \- Roxy


	6. The Kids Aren't Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not passive but aggressive  
> Take note, it's not impressive  
> Empty your sadness, like you're dumping your purse  
> On my bedroom floor"
> 
> ***
> 
> Mika and Kurda are thinking they're better off friends. Til Arra's return to Vampire Mountain brings up some feelings Kurda could've sworn he buried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this chapter came a little later but at least I didn't abandon it for 7 years this time ;) I really want to see this story through to the end like I never have before. Again, I blame the Covid crazies but I'll take motivation where I can get it! On the bright side, this is a really long chapter!
> 
> Chapter 6: The Kids Aren't Alright
> 
> Song: The Kids Aren't Alright by FallOutBoy

Stuck in the jet wash  
Bad trip I couldn't get off  
And maybe I bit off more than I could chew  
And overhead of the aqua blue

Fall to your knees bring on the rapture  
Blessed be the boys time can't capture  
On film or between the sheets  
I always fall from your window  
To the pitch black streets

And with the black banners raised as the crooked smiles fade  
Former heroes who quit too late  
Just wanna fill up the trophy case again

And in the end  
I'd do it all again  
I think you're my best friend  
Don't you know that the kids aren't all, kids aren't alright  
I'll be yours  
When it rains it pours  
Stay thirsty like before  
Don't you know that the kids aren't all, kids aren't alright  
***

On the bright side, this autumn wasn't like the last one. Mika and Kurda didn't dodge each other in the corridors this time, nor did they try to avoid making eye contact from opposite sides of the table. Their friendship remained steadfast as ever, the only thing that changed from sweet summertime was that they no longer snuck off and went to town on each other every night.

Kurda often thought back to that June night Mika first came home, how he'd watched as Mika and Arrow embraced each other roughly like long lost brothers. The two of them had such an easy, simple love for each other. No baggage, no complexities. Kurda remembered how jealous of Arrow he'd been in that moment. How lost he'd felt when Mika left. How he didn't care if all he ever had was Mika's friendship after that, because it would be enough. And then finally after all this time, that was exactly where he landed.

Now, whatever Mika did, he had Arrow on one side and Kurda on the other. Of course, Mika and Kurda's friendship contained a lot less shouting and wrestling but they were more or less on the same level. The connection they shared was tenacious enough to adapt, and strong enough to make peace with it all. They worked side-by-side, they shared meals together, and when the clan threw them a challenge they faced it together. And on Sunday nights, they sat down together in the Hall of Princes together and waited for the old military telephone to ring; then Gracie would eagerly recap her week while they listened contentedly. She was happy, they were happy. After an hour of chatting, they'd say their goodnights and go to bed, separately. Kurda had even moved back into his old cell on the other side of the mountain to prevent falling into old habits. So to summarize, all was well in Vampire Mountain.

After her brief return, Arra Sails had spent her summer elsewhere. She took matters into her own hands and resumed the mission she'd taken on with Mika the previous winter, determined to carry on without his help. And he reluctantly stayed back so she could do things her way. All four Princes trusted her completely and were getting daily updates; it sounded like she was getting closer every day to finding the fate of the missing vampires. Finally one day, Kurda, Mika, and Arrow were sitting together casually discussing a renovation in the Hall of Baker Wrent when all of a sudden, Mika and Arrow stopped mid-sentence and fell silent. Kurda knew right away what was happening - Arra must be transmitting a message. At the same second, the two Princes looked at each other in disbelief.

"She found him." Arrow gasped, looking awestruck. "Holy shit."

"The scientist who's allegedly been experimenting on vampires." Mika added so Kurda could be in the loop. His facial expression was serious but his eyes were alight. "The fucker's one of us, he's a half-vampire! We still don't know his name but she's captured him and they're on the way back to the mountain so we can interrogate him. This is huge! I can't believe she got him. I mean, I can. I just can't believe it's over."

"That's incredible!" Kurda exclaimed with genuine enthusiasm. "I knew she'd get it done!"

"You must be just a little jealous." Said Arrow with an impish grin in Mika's direction.

"Of course not!" Mika countered quickly. "I couldn't be happier for Arra. She wanted to handle it on her own to prove she could, as if there was any doubt. Besides I've had plenty of business to attend to here. I haven't had time to be gallivanting all across the continent."

"He's so jealous." Arrow informed Kurda in a stage whisper. Kurda cracked up and Mika glared at the pair of them.

"Completely." Kurda agreed.

"I think I liked it better when you two were always at each other's throats rather than ganging up on me." The dark Prince grumbled. "Can we go back to that?"

"Just admit you're jealous." Kurda teased.

"Fine." Mika exhaled through gritted teeth. "I would've loved to have been out there with her to finish what we started last winter. But we don't always get what we want. Like I said, the goings-on of Vampire Mountain have kept me more than occupied. And Arra deserves to have the glory all to herself."

"Doesn't she have a couple Generals with her?" Arrow pondered.

"Yeah, but you know Arra." Mika snorted. "She single-handedly led the mission, that's not up for debate. She doesn't answer to anyone."

"Seeing as you're the one who trained her, that shouldn't come as a big shock to you." said Kurda matter-of-factly. This elicited a loud burst of laughter from Arrow. Mika rolled his eyes with great indignation.

"She deserves this one. Dean really got to her last winter." Mika explained, slowly leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head. "He's the one who started the rumour that she was... you know, spending time with me... in an effort to move up the ranks quicker."

"I remember him saying that." Said Arrow, waving his hand dismissively. "But anyone with half a brain knows to take Dean's words with a grain of salt. Not that they're even worth that much."

"Plus everyone knows how seriously you take your position." Kurda added kindly. "No one would seriously believe you'd accept any form of bribery in exchange for a promotion. And Arra's as honourable as they come. She doesn't need to take a shortcut to get where she wants to go."

"Neither of you were there last winter." Said Mika, staring gravely back at the other two. "When Dean started running his mouth, everyone looked at us differently. Even after I sent him packing. Of course no one dared speak ill of me, so she took the brunt of it. And I couldn't say a word to defend her because she'd hate it even more if I tried to fight her battles, you know how she is. So she pushed me away to avoid adding any more fuel to that fire." He concluded with a slightly bitter edge to his tone. His posture remained relaxed but his eyes had hardened. Kurda was slightly taken aback by this, he hadn't yet heard the side of the story that involved Arra stepping away from Mika for the sake of her reputation. He'd just assumed their friends-with-benefits arrangement had ran its natural course.

"How'd Dean even find out? Can't imagine you two being inconspicuous." Arrow asked with a frown.

Mika heaved a long-suffering sigh and closed his eyes.

"Our travelling group got a hotel for the night, just once. We'd been running around and camping in the freezing rain all week so we treated ourselves. We all got drunk in the bar, it was great. Then I went to bed, Arra came to, um, check on me. And as we were halfway through the door opens and all I see is Dean Fucking Warwent there staring back at me. Drunk idiot went to the wrong room."

Kurda was used to the odd flippy thing his stomach did every time his mind pestered him with thoughts of Mika and Arra together in that way, but even he had to fight to contain his amusement at the story. Meanwhile Arrow's face was contorted in a mixture of incredulous hilarity and abject horror.

"He SAW you?" The tattooed Prince choked out. "Dean saw you... doing it?!"

"Only for a second." Mika confirmed with a pained grimace. "Arra threw a lamp at him and he ran for it. But that was all it took to kill the mood, permanently. We barely looked at each other for the rest of the trip, much less got in bed together. He was so drunk we hoped he'd forget but the idiot was running his mouth first thing the next day. Arra throat-punched him nicely for disrespecting her, and I dismissed him from the group but of course he went around blabbering to everyone else he saw after that. The damage was done."

"Wow. Want me to kill him for you?" Arrow asked with relish.

"Yes." Mika answered without hesitation. "I'll look petty if I do it myself. I'll owe you one."

"Good. I'll challenge him at the next Festival and crack his skull. Now I have something to look forwards to for the next four years."

"I admire your enthusiasm but that man isn't worth the ten seconds it would take for you to do that." Kurda chuckled.

"Ten? I'd do it in five." Arrow grinned. "Besides, you already had your turn with him. Remember when he called you "Trophy Wife"? And Mika "Baby Daddy"? Gods, what a prick."

"I will never forget that as long as I live. I don't love fighting like you two, but I sure as hell don't regret challenging him." Kurda muttered. Memories of that day filled him with an odd combination of disgust and satisfaction. It was one of the few times he'd solved a problem with his fists like a normal vampire.

"Too bad you broke his jaw so cleanly, Kurda. Healed up a little too well." Mika commented drily. "If he was incapable of speech, we wouldn't have this problem. But anyway, that's why Arra's out there and I'm in here. She shouldn't have to prove herself to anyone at this point but it is what it is. The Princes unanimously agreed she was more than capable of finishing it on her own so I decided to keep my name out of it." He concluded with a rueful half-smile.

"That was very noble of you." Said Kurda, patting Mika on the shoulder.

"That's because I am very noble." Mika replied in a tone of utter seriousness that would've sounded completely arrogant to anyone excluding present company, who knew him well enough to see right through it. Kurda and Arrow guffawed, and after shooting them a quick glare, Mika allowed himself to join in.

***

I'm not passive but aggressive  
Take note, it's not impressive  
Empty your sadness, like you're dumping your purse  
On my bedroom floor  
We put your curse in reverse

And it's our time now if you want to to be  
More the war like the carnival bears set free  
And your love is anemic and I can't believe  
That you couldn't see it coming from me

***

Kurda felt an unmistakable sense of déjà-vu watching Arra stride across the Hall of Princes as she made her return. Except this time she walked alone at the head of a small group rather than at Mika's side. Mika was sitting comfortably in his throne at the head of the room along with Paris and Arrow. And Kurda was in the front pew in his usual spot. Arra bowed respectfully to the Princes but her gaze was trained on Mika.

In situations like this, it was Mika and Arrow's custom to let Paris speak first. Kurda didn't know whether they did it on purpose, or subconsciously out of respect for their ancient mentor.

"Arra Sails, legends of your unyielding strength and impeccable honour have preceded you back to Vampire Mountain. It is my great pleasure to welcome you home." Paris beamed down at Arra and raised both his arms triumphantly. Mika and Arrow clearly took this as a cue and began applauding which instantly had the entire room doing the same. Paris descended slowly from the platform so he could be at eye-level with Arra, and he wrapped his arms around her as though she was a long-lost family member. Kurda could see part of her face and her expression was quite unlike her - shocked and humbled. She surely knew she was in for a hero's welcome but clearly was not prepared for the eldest Prince's show of warmth. The applause lasted for another minute before Arrow held up a large hand to silence the room.

"Where is the captive now?" He asked. His face was amicable but he was clearly eager to get to the interrogation. Mika visibly rolled his eyes at his friend's impatience and Kurda almost snorted in amusement.

"Secure in the dungeon, Sire." Said Arra with a wry smile, completely unfazed. "He's ready to chat whenever you are."

"Excellent." Said Arrow briskly, pretending for a moment to stand up as though he was about to leave the room. This gesture earned a chorus of raucous laughter from the audience as Arrow sat back down with a smirk.

"Arrow! You can wait til tomorrow." Paris hissed disapprovingly as he made his way back up the steps to sit back in his own throne. Arrow chuckled apologetically. Meanwhile, Mika rubbed his temples in a way that Kurda estimated was about sixty percent serious. The three Princes had such a unique dynamic, Kurda genuinely liked observing them - especially when they were playing to a crowd. It could be fascinating at times.

"Good to see you, Sails." Mika spoke up, with a half-smile and a quick nod. Such a simple greeting. But Kurda could read his tone and his face like an open book. He might as well have just said "I'm happy to see you but I'm currently at work being Sire Ver Leth so I have to be casual about it."

It wasn't lost on Kurda that his "reading comprehension" was far more advanced than just about anyone else in this room, especially for this particular book (the book being Mika, obviously). But by the way Arra's eyes glinted as she reciprocated Mika's greeting forced Kurda to take pause, to wonder if just maybe she was reading at his level.

"I know you're all eager to skip ahead to the festivities! I seem to recall there was quite a celebration last time Miss Sails returned to the mountain, not so long ago." Said Paris loudly with a twinkle in his eye. "It's been a slow year and the gods know we all love a good party! But there remains one small matter of business we need to attend to."

There was a murmur of impatience from the crowd but Mika's warning glare silenced it as soon as it began. He and Arrow exchanged a quick look and Kurda immediately knew what was about to happen. Arra hadn't quite caught on yet, she was looking slightly confused. Paris started to speak again:

"Arra Sails, for decades you have impressed us with your unrelenting bravery, enviable combat skills, and loyalty to the clan above all." Said the white-haired Prince as he gazed down at the lone vampiress. Her expression was a mixture of awe and puzzlement as she met his stare. Arrow and Mika had both stood up and were now flanking Paris - Arrow on the right and Mika on the left, as always.

"You have proven your worth many times over. You have overcome obstacles that your peers have never faced, and yet you still run circles around them." Arrow added. "It is high time the clan formally recognizes your achievements."

Based on the quiet elation in Arra's face and her sudden change in posture, Kurda figured she'd caught on to what was happening. Kurda smiled despite himself - all Mika shenanigans aside, he was legitimately happy for her. And Kurda knew better than to blame her for all that emotional turmoil. That ship had sailed months ago. She deserved this, and truth be told it should have happened long ago.

Mika's voice pulled Kurda's mind back to planet Earth -

"Arra, on behalf of Sires Skyle, Arrow, March, and myself..." Mika paused, and it was so painfully obvious to Kurda how hard he was trying to appear neutral. "...we have unanimously decided to appoint you with the title of Vampire General, effective immediately. Congratulations. It is well-deserved."

The hall erupted in a cacophony of cheers and applause. Arra's travelling companions swarmed her with rough hugs and high-fives. Arra's was trying unsuccessfully to appear demure, but her grin was shining through the facade. Her eyes were darting back and forth between the three Princes in disbelief.

"It was all my idea!" Arrow shouted with a cheeky smile, waving at the room.

It seemed like a throwaway statement but Kurda immediately recognized what it was. Arrow was covering Mika's ass by putting to rest the rumour that Mika had played favourites behind the scenes. How considerate, thought Kurda.

And so all of Vampire Mountain spent the rest of the night carrying on in boisterous revelry. They feasted, they drank, they danced, and they fought. Kurda ended up on the bars with Arra once again - he lost, of course. But it was a much closer fight. He held his own for the most part but she was just ultimately better. And that was perfectly fine with him. She didn't even tease him too harshly; her face had a kind of glow to it that he'd never seen before. In fact, he'd never seen her remotely so happy in all the years he'd known her. He told her that. She threw her head back and laughed, and said,

"That's because I save it it all for occasions like this, Smahlt. I don't have an infinite supply of inner sunshine like you. I need to pace myself."

Kurda couldn't help but hoot in laughter at that. He wondered if her penchant for sass occurred naturally or if it was a by-product of being trained by Mika. Some of their mannerisms truly were uncanny.

He spent a few hours lingering in the Hall of Games chatting with Larten Crepsley and Gavner Purl before he decided he needed to put more food in his belly if he was to survive the rest of the party. He made tracks up to the Hall of Khledon Lurt to see what was left.

As he turned right onto the last corridor before his destination, he spied a familiar looking figure about 100 feet ahead, walking the same direction he did. Clad in black and walking (still with a faint limp) like he was on a mission. Kurda drew breath to call out to Mika, tell him to wait up.

Then another figure emerged from a connecting hall between Kurda and Mika. It was easy to recognize the only female currently in Vampire Mountain, which was good because Arra was moving in a way that looked most unlike herself. She was suddenly so light on her feet, almost as if she was skipping. She caught up with Mika and slipped her arm around his waist. He looked momentarily startled as turned to face her, but his face broke into a warm smile as he saw who it was. It's worth noting that neither of them had yet noticed Kurda was behind them.

He couldn't hear what either of them were saying, but he could see Arra was chatting away animatedly (again, rather uncharacteristically) and Mika was smiling and nodding and occasionally chiming in. Arra's arm was still draped casually around his waist. Despite his best intentions, Kurda felt his eyes narrow at the sight of them. He knew he had no right to have any sort of opinions here. After all, when Mika told him they needed to end their secret meetings, Kurda had wholeheartedly agreed with him. Hadn't he?

And then without a shred of warning, Kurda could do nothing but watch in stunned silence as Arra stopped in her tracks, flung her arms around Mika's neck and kissed him. Not a soft peck either, it was all business. He visibly stiffened in surprise but within seconds his hands were running through her hair as he relaxed into her.

Charna's Fucking Guts, Kurda whispered internally. (It was a phrase he'd accidentally picked up after spending too much time with Arrow). He decided to get the hell out of there before either of them realized there was a witness. He ducked out into the next corridor and took the long way back downstairs to the Hall of Baker Wrent.

"We thought you were getting food! Are the leftovers gone?" Larten inquired bemusedly as Kurda rejoined him.

"Lost my appetite." Kurda replied breezily. "Might've ate something funny earlier. Best not to take chances."

"Ale will help!" Said Gavner happily, pushing a full mug into Kurda's hands while Larten rolled his eyes.

"You're absolutely right." Said the blond General decisively, tipping it up to his lips with relish. He'd polished off three more mugs before Mika and Arra reappeared in the room. There was a drunken cheer at the sight of them; it seemed there was nothing the vampire clan enjoyed more than making fools of themselves when their superiors were present. Some General challenged Mika to a staff duel, and he nodded in agreement with a wayward half-smile. There was a large vase type of thing in the corner that held about a dozen wooden staffs. Arra happened to be next to it so she picked one up and handed it to Mika. As she did so, he leaned in and planted her with what was easily the most passionate kiss that room had ever seen. Possibly the only one, but still.

Kurda felt his stomach drop like never before. Two things about the hallway kiss he'd witnessed earlier that night. 1, Arra initiated it. And 2, no one else was watching (as far as they knew). Kurda certainly hadn't enjoyed seeing it but he'd more or less brushed it off with the help of the ale. That kiss alone could have been nothing. Arra was just excited about her promotion, that was all.

But for Mika to kiss her first, in a room full of people... the same Mika who overanalyzed every godsforsaken decision he made in his life, who was hyper-aware of every move he made when the clan's eyes were on him, who didn't do a single damn thing without having a reason behind it... This kiss

wasn't nothing. Mika was making an intentional statement. Kurda figured he might as well have gotten out a megaphone and made a PSA:

"Alright, folks. She's a General now and I had nothing to do with it! So now we can go right ahead and do THIS, and you all can't say shit about playing favorites. Got it?"

But he didn't have to say any of that because it came across perfectly clear without words. A raucous cheer of approval and a chorus of whoops and whistles went up from the crowd at the sight of them, their beloved Prince with the newest General who happened to be the clan's most admired vampiress. What could be more perfect?

Kurda was aware that there was a pattern forming here that involved trying to drown his Mika-induced frustrations in ale but good decorum was low on his priority list at the moment. It wasn't until the party was wrapping up hours later and he was staggering back to his cell that he started to have some regrets. Luckily there was a water closet nearby when his body abruptly decided it was no longer having fun. He crouched miserably and vomited for a few painful minutes before it finally passed. He tried to stand up and carry on his way but the hall began to spin around him and he was forced to take a seat with his back against the chilly stone wall. He was alone now, there was no crowd left to perform for. No need to fake a smile here in this lonely hallway where his only witnesses were the flickering torches. He took a deep steadying breath, preparing to try to stand up again but when he exhaled it came out as a ragged, angry sob. He pressed his palms into his eyeballs as though trying to force the tears back in but it was a hopeless cause.

So he sat, and he cried, and he cursed the day Mika Ver Leth was born into this world. But mostly he cursed himself for letting it all slip through his fingers. They were right there on the brink... why hadn't they tried harder? Were they that desperately afraid of his own feelings? Or had he drastically misread the entire situation and Mika had never even been on the same page? Even sober, it wouldve been a lot to process. But add half a barrel of ale to the mix and you get a flaming hot mess, to say the least.

But he did have enough self-awareness left to cringe in dismay when he opened his swollen eyes for a moment and saw a pair of boots standing in front of him.

"Of fucking course it's YOU. Just my luck." He groaned miserably as he looked up to see Arrow staring down quizzically at him. Even as drunk as Kurda was, he could tell that Arrow was on an entirely different level of hammered. The tattooed Prince had a distinct lean to him and looked as though he could topple over at any moment.

"Smahlt?" Said Arrow, tilting his head curiously as he swayed. "What... what're you doin' on the floor?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, you idiot?" Kurda snapped. "Enjoying the damn view."

Arrow actually turned around as though expecting to see something besides a blank wall.

"There's nothing there." He reported back. "It's jus' the wall."

Kurda let out a low moan of exasperation intermingled with nausea and buried his face in his hands once again.

"Hey." Said Arrow as he blearily took a closer look at the blond figure in front of him. "You alright? You don' look so good."

"I've never been better, Arrow. Just getting my hangover started early. Carry on your way."

"No... You look... sad, or something." (Gosh, what a wordsmith he was). "Wha'happened?" Arrow pressed, with a distinct tone of concern.

Kurda was proud of the progress he'd made with Arrow in the friendship department over the past few years. It hadn't been so long ago that either of them would jump at any opportunity to belittle each other, sometimes to the point of cruelty. But as Arrow slowly sat down on the floor next to him, Kurda started to wonder if he'd made a big mistake. For this particular occasion he would've much preferred Arrow to enjoy a hearty laugh at his expense before carrying on his way and leaving Kurda alone with his angst.

"Let's not do this." Kurda half-whined. "Just go to bed, Arrow. I'll be fine."

"So the wall was so beautiful it moved you to tears, huh?" Arrow persisted.

Kurda said nothing.

"What is it then? Did you get beat up on the bars?"

Technically that did happen but Kurda maintained his silence, desperately hoping Arrow would lose interest. Arrow sat thoughtfully for a few moments as Kurda tried to regain control of his breathing.

"Wait, I know. Are you worried about Arra spending more time here? Because you don't need to be. I've already had this conversation with Mika. Nothing will change for all of us. He knows friends come first." Said Arrow proudly, as though that was supposed to provide Kurda with a single ounce of comfort. He was genuinely trying but unfortunately his knowledge of Mika and Kurda's dynamic was barely the tip of the iceberg. He hadn't a clue what the situation really was.

But oh gods, was he about to.

"That's my fucking problem, Arrow!"

Kurda couldn't hold it back for one more second. The words exploded from his mouth like acid, stinging like vomit on its way out.

"Nothing will change. For YEARS now I've been on this - this roller coaster with Mika Fucking Ver Leth. One minute we're dancing, and - and kissing in a bar, then we're screaming at each other about all the what-ifs in Gracie's future if we can't keep our shit together. THEN we're having an emotional breakdown AND hooking up in a motel room all within the same hour. And after that... I thought that would be the end of the ride and maybe we could be happy. But no, of course not! Why take that an inch further when we could ignore each other like stupid fucking teenagers til Mika finally takes the easy way out and runs off on a cross-country goose chase with Arra?! Why risk digging up his feelings for ME when he could be sleeping with her in the woods? Oh! And making sure to let that information circle back to us via Dean Fucking Warwent?! I know you remember THAT."

Kurda had to pause to draw breath, otherwise he could have very well fainted at that point. Arrow was gawking back at him with the most dumbstruck expression Kurda had ever seen in his life. He had ample time to fill the silence while Kurda gasped for air but words had clearly failed him. Kurda knew he was digging himself into a hole here and would loathe himself tomorrow for airing all this dirty laundry but he'd moved well beyond caring.

"So eventually he comes back, we get Gracie home for the summer, Arra goes back to wherever the hell she came from, and just like magic, everything's fucking perfect again! We're a big happy family like we used to be except now we're sneaking off together every damn night as if last year never even happened. And we tell each other it's just for fun, that there's no feelings there even though we both know that's a total lie. So of course, of fucking COURSE we put an end to that because gods FORBID the noble, mighty Sire Ver Leth be forced to confront his emotions! We simply can't have THAT!" Kurda croaked out sarcastically, openly sobbing again. Arrow's expression was shifting rapidly between sympathy, fright, and complete awe. But Kurda still had a few more words left in him.

"And- and then, when we finally get to a place where we can both just be friends, no weirdness, the way you and him always are, SHE comes skipping back in here like she owns the damn place. And Mika... he... he just looked so happy with her tonight." Kurda finished weakly. He felt the last bit of fight evaporate from his body and all he wanted was to just be done with it all. There it was, all out in the open. Arrow was now free to do what he pleased with that information. Kurda was too exhausted to give a damn now.

The silence that followed was heavy. Kurda glanced sideways at Arrow to try to gauge how he was going to take this. The Prince was staring straight ahead unblinkingly. Kurda couldn't blame him, it would be a lot to process even for a sober brain. A tiny part of Kurda had always wondered if Mika had ever told Arrow any of that, after all they shared almost everything. But based on Arrow's expression this was one hundred percent new news to him.

"Wait... what?" Arrow asked, squinting and shaking his head as though he has water in his ear.

"Sorry." Said Kurda softly. "I shouldn't have told you that."

Arrow turned and fixed him with a hazy stare, studying Kurda's face as though he was a mildly interesting painting.

"First of all, wow. That's... a lot. I had no idea there was - that you guys were - having - something." Arrow mumbled clumsily.

"That was the idea." Kurda sighed. "Well, now you know."

"It's... it's gonna be okay, Kurda." Arrow slurred, forcefully patting Kurda's shoulder with his large hand. "Everything's gonna be okay."

Arrow slowly raised himself to his feet, still swaying considerably. He looked so dazed Kurda really had no idea how much of that he'd absorbed. Arrow steadied himself and looked back down at Kurda.

"C'mon." He said, extending a hand.

Kurda stared back up at him blankly, too worn out to move.

"Trust me. You don't wanna wake up on the floor by the water closet. Been there, done that. Les'go."

Kurda heaved a sigh and allowed Arrow to pull him to his feet. That was a mistake because they both almost went crashing to the floor, but by some miracle they both remained upright. Arrow was silent as he walked Kurda to his cell. Kurda didn't know whether he was still in shock or simply to drunk to walk and speak at the same time. They bid each other a good night and Arrow headed off to his own cell with no further discussion of the bombshell Kurda had dropped.

The only plus side to Kurda's blazing intoxication was the fact that he fell asleep the second his head hit the pillow, otherwise he would've tossed and turned for hours agonizing over it all. One long sleep later, he awakened to a familiar pounding in his head reminding him that last night had been... something. At least he'd already gotten the puking out of the way before he'd gone to bed.

He lay in his coffin for at least an hour, convinced he'd rather slowly starve to death here than face everyone. Surely by now Arrow had relayed last night's entire outburst to Mika, and he could only assume Arra heard it as well.

But hunger eventually won over and when he figured it was late enough that the Hall of Khledon Lurt would mostly be empty, he slowly made his way down. He paused by the entrance, steeling himself for whoever was waiting around the corner.

And sure enough, there they all were, at the usual table. Mika and Arrow across from each other as always. Arra next to Mika with her head resting sleepily on his shoulder. Larten, Gavner, and Vanez were also with the group.

Kurda saw an unattended bread basket on a table nearby and slipped quietly towards it, intending to snatch it up and run like hell. But naturally Mika caught his eye and waved him over. Kurda quickly studied his face as he approached them but Mika's demeanour was totally... normal. He looked a little tired and battle-weary, but that was how he always looked after a party. He showed no indication that Arrow had told him anything. But then again, he had a hell of a poker face so who knew?

"Morning, sunshine." Said Mika casually. "Saved you some bacon."

"Thanks." Said Kurda carefully, sitting down a few feet away from Mika. He nibbled at the bacon and listened to the group lazily swap stories from the previous night. No one was looking at him oddly - that was a good sign. Then again, maybe they were just being nice.

"So Arrow, what broom closet did you wake up in?" Said Arra with a teasing smirk at the tattooed Prince who looked decidedly worse than anyone else.

"I made it to my own coffin, thank you very much." Arrow huffed.

"I'm astonished." Said Mika with raised eyebrows. "Last I saw you, you were beating a statue with a staff. I figured you were beyond help at that point so I didn't interrupt."

"That doesn't sound like me." Arrow snorted.

There was a chorus of laughter at that.

"But yeah, I have no idea how I got to bed. Last thing I remember was duelling Crepsley and kicking his ass." He grinned cheekily while Larten rolled his eyes. "Everything after that is a blank slate. Only the walls of Vampire Mountain know what the hell I did between there and my coffin."

A rush of adrenaline surged through Kurda's body as he realized he'd been there when Arrow duelled Larten. It was very hazy but he definitely remembered it happening. And his accidental heart-to-heart had occurred after that. That meant Arrow had no recollection of it, and THAT meant Kurda was in the clear. He breathed a silent prayer of thanks to the Vampire Gods for this small mercy.

He figured at this point it was the very least they could do for him.

***

And I still feel that rush in my veins  
It twists my head just a bit too thin  
All those people in those old photographs I've seen are dead

And in the end  
I'd do it all again  
I think you're my best friend  
Don't you know that the kids aren't all, kids aren't alright  
I'll be yours  
When it rains it pours  
Stay thirsty like before  
Don't you know that the kids aren't all, kids aren't alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering, no I don't actually ship Mika/Arra. I don't hate them together, and I like Arra on her own. But my endgame has only ever been Murda. I didn't come this far just to flush all that away now ;) 
> 
> Please review if you feel so inclined - I really love hearing your feedback :)


	7. Free Rent Livin' In My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your name on my lips, tongue tied  
> Free rent, livin' in my mind"
> 
> *** 
> 
> It's Kurda's turn to do a bit of soul-searching outside of Vampire Mountain. If Mika can do it, so can he.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Here is chapter 7 :)
> 
> Chapter 7: Free Rent Livin' In My Mind
> 
> Song: I Forgot That You Existed - Taylor Swift

How many days did I spend  
Thinkin' 'bout how you did me wrong, wrong, wrong?  
Lived in the shade you were throwin'  
'Til all of my sunshine was gone, gone, gone  
And I couldn't get away from you  
In my feelings more than Drake, so yeah  
Your name on my lips, tongue tied  
Free rent, livin' in my mind  
But then something happened one magical night  
I forgot that you existed  
And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn't  
And it was so nice  
So peaceful and quiet  
I forgot that you existed  
It isn't love, it isn't hate  
It's just indifference

***

One of the things Mika liked about Arra was the fact she rarely surprised him. For him, that was a good thing. He didn't enjoy being surprised; he was most comfortable when he was in control of a situation and surprises generally didn't play well with that. He was a really, really big fan of knowing what to expect.

That didn't mean he wasn't beyond proud of Arra, of everything she'd accomplished. He just wasn't surprised. He'd always known she'd get there, because she was exactly like him. Determined, gritty, and just as motivated as he was. But unlike Mika, she had years of gender-based discrimination fuelling her inner fire. It had always frustrated Mika to no end that she never let him defend her from such things; but he understood. It wasn't really the same thing, but growing up as the legendary Paris Skyle's apprentice had always made Mika feel he needed to work twice as hard as anyone else to earn respect.

So no, Mika wasn't surprised in the slightest when Arra was nominated to be a General. What did surprise him was what she did several hours later. He was en route up to his cell to retrieve a warmer sweater when she appeared out of nowhere and kissed him.

"I'm tired of pretending." She had said. "I'm done putting on a mask every time I see you. I achieved what I wanted, and I don't have to prove anything to anyone now."

That was how "getting his sweater" turned into an hour-long intermission from the party that ended with both of them climbing out of his coffin and hurriedly putting their clothes back on so they could rejoin the celebration before anyone noticed anything.

"We don't have to tell anyone, if you don't want to." Arra told him as they meandered back down. "I'm just saying, I'm all in if you are. I know it's not that simple for you, but take some time and think about it. I'm not going anywhere."

She was looking up at him with an expression that was halfway between hope and concern. Mika didn't know what to say. So he gently cupped her face in his hands and planted a quick kiss on her forehead before they passed through the doors into the Hall of Baker Wrent.

Then the cheering started at the sight of them, and Arra's face lit up in a way that he'd never seen before. It was such a perfect, beautiful sight. In that moment, Mika felt like there was only one thing he could do. So he kissed her, knowing and not caring that dozens of eyes were on them.

He didn't mean to scan the crowd to clock Kurda's reaction to the sudden, public display of affection but his eyes automatically landed on him. Maybe it was the platinum hair in sharp contrast against the rest of the room, but Mika never struggled to pick him out in a crowd. But in this moment, he was cheering and smiling along with all the others. There wasn't a trace of bitterness in his ocean eyes.

That settles it. He's moved on. Mika thought to himself. He couldn't fully identify what he was feeling but it tasted a little like disappointment.

To Kurda's credit, when he eventually felt the need to leave Vampire Mountain he did it considerably more elegantly than Mika did last year. After Mika and Arra's dynamic became something that resembled a legitimate relationship, Kurda knew he had no choice but to get out before he accidentally said something he couldn't take back. It was only a matter of time. He'd gotten lucky once, fate had granted him a reprieve that time he let the cat out of the bag with Arrow who was mercifully too drunk to remember by the next day.

One night, Mika held a meeting with a few of the Generals. Upon conclusion, Kurda made a point of remaining seated as the rest of them filed out of the room.

"What, you miss me or something?" Said Mika half-jokingly once the room was empty.

Kurda rolled his eyes and smirked.

"As if I have time to miss you when we still eat every meal together."

"We have the same favourite table." Mika shrugged. "It just makes sense."

They each chuckled for a moment.

"Everything alright? You look like you have something to say." Said Mika, slightly critically as he leaned back in his throne and looked Kurda up and down.

"Of course!" Kurda replied. "I can't complain. I just wanted to let you know I'm stepping out of the mountain for a few months."

Mika's brow furrowed as he sat up a little straighter.

"Why? What's wrong?" Then his face fell. "It's not because of Arra, is it?"

"Mika, no!" Kurda sighed. "Of course not. You know how happy I am for you! We're not going down that road again. But I've been missing wide open spaces and fresh air - oh, don't look at me like that! I know you can relate, seeing as you did the same thing a year ago. Except you were much more of a prick about it."

Mika smiled ruefully.

"I get it. Got anywhere special in mind?"

"Actually, going to meet up with a couple old acquaintances." Said Kurda after a moment of hesitation. He hoped Mika wouldn't ask who, but if he did he wasn't going to lie.

"Ah, nice. Who?" Said Mika casually.

Darn, thought Kurda.

"Well, they're Vampaneze. Their names are-"

Mika's face instantly clouded over and he raised a hand for silence.

"Good enough, I don't need to know their names." He replied, looking... what was that look on his face? Disappointment? Worry? Annoyance? Kurda could usually read Mika quite well but this wasn't a familiar expression.

"Right. Well, I'll probably be gone for most of the winter but obviously will return to the mountain for Grace's summer holidays next year. I won't be back for her Christmas break but I'll spend a few weeks camped near the school so I can spend time with her on the weekends. I'll let Aydon know once I arrive."

"That sounds nice. She'll love that." Said Mika thoughtfully.

"Yes, I'm looking forwards to it. It'll be good for me, I think."

"Hopefully not too good. Arrow would miss you too much if you never came back." Said Mika, rather cryptically.

Kurda rolled his eyes again.

"I suppose I'd miss Arrow too... Don't worry, this is home. I'll always come back."

"Very good, then. When are you leaving?"

"Sometime next week. Just need to go over some maps and do a bit more planning."

"Ah."

"Well, I'd better get going. Looks like you've got a lot to do." Said Kurda with a slight smile, gesturing around the now-empty room.

"Always." Said Mika sarcastically, returning the smile. Kurda stood up and exited the row of pews but as he was halfway down the center aisle, he turned back around.

"See what I did there?" Said the blond General, arching one of his fine, golden eyebrows. "How I made a point to take time out of my day to clearly communicate to you that I decided to go on a long and possibly dangerous trip to see what your thoughts were about it?"

Now Mika was the one rolling his eyes.

"I get it! Charna's Guts, I'm never going to live last year down, am I?"

"Not as long as I roam these halls." Kurda shot back cheekily.

"Good thing you're leaving, then." Mika replied gruffly with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Kurda chuckled and gave him a final wave before striding out of the room and leaving Mika alone.

Kurda had to admit, there was something incredibly peaceful about drifting through the world in solitary. No one arguing with him, no schedule to follow. He spent a month living in a motel on the edge of town where Grace's school was located. (And no, not the same motel in which he and Mika had spontaneously decided to ignite the fires of passion for the first time).

On his first weekend visit, he had the great privilege of getting to watch Grace's soccer tournament in person. She was exceptionally skilled and honestly a bit merciless when it came to dealing with the opposing team. Kurda made sure to update Mika via telepathy:

KS: Hey.

MVL: Hey.

KS: Guess where I am right now?

MVL: Alone in a motel reading a map.

KS: Funny. No. I'm watching Gracie's soccer game. They're about to win a a big tournament or something.

MVL: They made it through playoffs?! She didn't call me!

KS: What are playoffs?

MVL: Nevermind. What position is she playing? Please tell me she's a forward.

KS: I don't know what that means.

MVL: Well what's she doing? Is she in the net, near the net, or chasing the other team?

KS: Uh... yeah, she's definitely chasing the other team. Quite aggressively.

MVL: Good. That means she's a forward. Remember those drills Arrow and I were practicing with her last summer? That's what that was. She played defence last year and she didn't like it.

KS: I don't speak sports, Mika. You know this.

MVL: Ugh. I should be there right now instead of you. No offence. Your thing can be... spelling bees or something.

KS: 'Ugh' yourself. None taken. Why don't you flit out for the night? You'd still catch most of the game.

MVL: I wish. Paris is sick, Arrow's gone for two weeks, and Vancha's three countries away. Can't leave.

KS: Too bad. You'd love this. Oh gods, she just tripped someone and made it look like an accident. That's definitely your kid.

MVL: Shit, did the ref give her a penalty?

KS: Like I said, I don't speak sports.

MVL: Did the man in the striped shirt blow the whistle and send her to time-out?

KS: Nope, they didn't catch her. She's still playing.

MVL: That's my girl.

KS: She scored another goal! Gods, she's ruthless. Almost took the net-keeper's head off.

MVL: Keep the updates coming. Gavner, Vanez, Seba, and Arra are here too. We're all invested this game now. Boring night here in the Hall of Princes.

Kurda chuckled to himself at that. He continued to send Mika the most descriptive updates he could manage with his very limited knowledge of sporting terminology. The image of all their friends gathered around at home "watching the game" so to speak was warning his heart more than he cared to admit. The game ended with Grace's team taking a very strong lead. Kurda was smiling as he filed out of the stands with the rest of the spectators once Grace's team claimed victory. The best part was, Grace had no idea he was coming until she saw him stepping onto the field with the rest of the visiting parents. Her shriek of excitement made the entire trip worthwhile.

Afterwards, Kurda took Gracie to a cafe for hot chocolate. It was freshly decorated for Christmas and there was a light dusting of snow falling from the sky. It was a perfect night to be cozy and warm.

"That was a amazing game, Gracie." Said Kurda delightedly. "You never told us how good you are at soccer!"

"You told me it's not nice to brag." She grinned.

"The way you kicked that big mean girl in the shins and the referees didn't even notice? Technically I don't condone that but you sure helped your team pull through! Daddy would be proud of you too. You're a star. Our star." Said Kurda, looping his arm around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head

"Why didn't Daddy come visit with you?" Grace asked thoughtfully.

"He wasn't able to get away from the mountain, sweetie." Said Kurda apologetically. "You know how busy he gets. A lot of people depend on him to keep things running smoothly there. "

"I guess." Grace replied with a slightly suspicious shrug.

"Plus you'll see him at Christmas; it's just that I won't be there. That's why I wanted to take a detour on my trip so I could get some time with you." Kurda added.

"What are you on a trip for?"

"It's part of my job." He explained patiently. "You remember I'm a General, right?"

"Yeah."

"Remember what that means?"

"You get to help Daddy and Uncle Arrow boss people around. Except you're not as good at being bossy as they are."

"Hah! Well, you aren't wrong there. But being a General also means that sometimes we have responsibilities outside of the mountain. For example, if we hear there's a member of our clan behaving poorly somewhere, then a General will go find them and see what's going on, and-"

"Get them in trouble?"

"Sometimes, yes. But not always. Sometimes people just need someone to listen to them. I try not to get anyone in trouble unless I have to."

"What do you do if someone's really really bad?"

"Then I bring them back to the mountain and they become your Daddy's problem."

They both laughed for a moment.

"Is that what you're doing on this trip? Catching someone who's being bad?"

"Not this time. I'm going to meet up with some old friends."

"Which friends?"

"You haven't met these ones. They're not part of our clan. This is where it kind of gets tricky. Their clan and ours don't always agree on everything, but we're still similar in a lot of ways. Most people in our clan don't want anything to do with them."

"So why do you?"

Kurda hummed for a moment and wondered if maybe he'd dug himself into a bit of a hole here.

"I just believe we're stronger when we stand together. That's all. There's a little it of good in everyone."

Grace seemed to be satisfied with that answer for now. She quietly sipped her drink and Kurda breathed a sigh of relief that she'd stopped asking tough questions because he had a really had time being anything but honest.

They had a great month together. On the weekends he took her shopping, to movies, to restaurants. Because it was November, he could get away with moving around during the day. The sun was usually hidden behind a layer of chilly grey clouds, plus he could bundle himself up in hats and scarves without looking strange.

During the day, he slept and watched television. At night, he explored the city. He chatted with the locals. The half-vampire headmaster of Grace's school - Aydon Redford - introduced him to several other vampires that lived in the area and the group of them frequently ate supper and drank ale together in the local pub. On Friday afternoons, Aydon drove Grace from the school to the motel so she could spend the weekends with Kurda. She was disappointed he wasn't going to be in the mountain when she came home for Christmas, but having him in town for an entire month certainly helped.

Kurda spent his Christmas at Aydon's home; one last week in civilization before he started to trek through the wilderness. Kurda didn't really celebrate Christmas but Aydon was so enthusiastic he couldn't say no. Being a half-vampire, Aydon didn't have any living family but there was one young man whom he kept tabs on. It was over Christmas dinner that Kurda met Cyrus for the first time. Cyrus was a ex-student of Aydon's. An alumni of the very school Grace currently attended. Cyrus was human - but he knew of the clan. He originated from a very troubled upbringing. Aydon had taken him under his wing many years ago in an attempt to separate him from his violent home life. His parents had histories of abuse - both of substances and children. One night at the age of twelve, Cyrus phoned Aydon in tears, feeling more unsafe in his home than usual. Aydon showed up at his door twenty minutes later hoping to de-escalate the situation but it didn't work out like that. Cyrus's father pulled a gun on Aydon. Cyrus was certain his beloved teacher was about to be shot in front of him but the man moved faster than should have been humanly possible. He disarmed the father without hurting him and called the police. His parents went to jail, and Aydon became Cyrus's guardian. It wasn't long before he told Cyrus the truth about his supernatural strength and speed; he was a half-vampire.

Fast-forwards to now. Not much had changed with Aydon. Except he'd been promoted from teacher to headmaster since then, and he was still very close to Cyrus. The boy had become a man; at least he was trying to be. But his upbringing had taken a toll on his psyche that Aydon's support couldn't change. He was reckless, explosive, and couldn't hold down a job. He'd just been fired from a local factory the night he joined Aydon and Kurda for supper. Cyrus took an immediate interest in Kurda. The friendly blond General was everything Cyrus wished he could be - clever, accomplished, strong, and well-travelled. They even looked like they could have been the same age. When Cyrus found out Kurda's real age, he was incredulous. He knew from Aydon how vampiric aging worked but it still astounded him to realize he was talking to a two hundred year old man who could easily pass for early thirties. Cyrus had shown interest in joining the clan years ago but Aydon hoped it would pass. Aydon himself was only a half-blood and had no interest in taking it any further. He'd found a balance in the human world and was content there, to Cyrus's frustration. Cyrus had met several other vampires over the years via Aydon but they either ignored him or turned their noses up at him. (You may recall that the clan doesn't have the highest opinion of Aydon due to his decision to stay in the human world). Despite all of that, he envied the brotherhood all vampires seemed to share. Friendship and acceptance were things his childhood had been incredibly lacking in, and all he wanted was to feel like he belonged somewhere in the world.

But Kurda saw something in him, even while he sat hunched on a bar stool pounding back whiskey and complaining loudly about another ex-boss who "just didn't understand him". There was a quiet determination about him, a certain fire in his eyes. Plus, hadn't Kurda just had a conversation with his daughter about how he believed there was good in everyone?

BACK IN VAMPIRE MOUNTAIN:

It would be Mika's luck that he would be in the coffin with Arra when he received a very unexpected message from Kurda via their telepathic link. He knew Kurda had no way of knowing that, but the irony was cruel regardless.

KS: Mika, I think I accidentally adopted something again.

MVL: Busy. Talk soon.

KS: What could you possibly be doing that's more interesting than what I just said?

MVL: BUSY. TALK SOON.

KS: Oh. Got it. Tell Arra I said hi.

MVL: Fuck off.

Five Minutes Later:

MVL: Alright. I'm free now. So what the hell have you gone and done?

KS: That didn't take you very long.

MVL: Shut up. We were almost done when you interrupted.

KS: Hmm. Anyway, got myself a human apprentice last week.

MVL: Oh boy.

KS: Name's Cyrus. Good kid.

MVL: Kid? Kurda, I swear if you've gone and adopted another minor I'm going to flit out there and strangle you myself.

KS: Okay, he's like twenty-nine or something. Not an actual kid.

MVL: Charna's Guts. Why didn't you open with that?

KS: Sorry. Could've phrased that better.

MVL: Pffft. So what's his deal?

KS: It's the kid Aydon told us about last year when we dropped Grace off. Remember that story? Took him out of a bad home and helped him along?

MVL: Oh yeah. Forgot about that.

KS: He's grown up now. He's known about the clan for years and he wants in.

MVL: Right. So that's become your problem how?

KS: Well you know Aydon's deal, he's not interested in being part of the clan but he loves this kid. Cyrus is having a rough time. Never left his hometown til now. No money. Can't keep a job. I offered to let him travel with me for a few months to see what it's all about.

MVL: He still human?

KS: Yeah. Haven't blooded him but he wants it, bad. Been travelling with him about a month now. Wanted to see what you thought.

The link between them was silent for a few minutes.

MVL: I've never met the kid, Kurda. So I have no idea what to tell you. Do what you think is right. I trust you.

KS: That's not very helpful, Sire Ver Leth.

MVL: Since when do you WANT me to tell you what to do?

KS: Since I'm on the brink of permanently altering yet another kid's life. Just want a second opinion, is all.

MVL: Okay, well stop calling him a kid. Don't compare this to the Gracie situation. He's almost thirty, not three. Sounds like he knows how it all works, so it's up to you to decide if he's got what it takes.

KS: I know.

MVL: Kurda, this is the part you're good at. You know how to read people. You'll make the right decision. If you think you're ready for a legitimate apprentice, you'll make one hell of a teacher. He'll be lucky to have you.

KS: Sometimes I really miss you, Mika.

There was a long pause.

MVL: I haven't gone anywhere, you know.

And then an even longer pause.

KS: How's Gracie? Is it still Christmas break?

MVL: Tomorrow's the last day. She just fell asleep in my coffin but I don't want to wake her up so looks like I'm sleeping on the floor tonight.

KS: Just use mine. I know how much you hate sleeping on the floor.

MVL: Hm, maybe. Thanks.

KS: Tell her I miss her.

MVL: Will do. She fell asleep while I was reading her that book she likes, with the whales. Apparently I'm not as good at doing the voices as you are.

KS: It's true. You're not.

MVL: We all have our talents, I suppose. Anyway, I'm going to bed. Gotta flit her back to school tomorrow night. You still in that area?

KS: Not exactly. We've moved south a fair bit. Few hundred kilometres.

MVL: Ah. I'll see you when you get back then. Stay safe.

KS: Sleep well. Enjoy my coffin.

MVL: Been there, done that. Only difference is last time you were in it.

KS: You're such a heathen.

MVL: Thank you.

KS: Goodnight, Mika.

TWO WEEKS LATER:

KS: Mika?

MVL: Huh?

KS: You awake?

MVL: I am now. Do you know what time it is?

KS: Four-thirtyish?

MVL: Care to guess how many hours of sleep I got?

KS: Probably not many. But this is important.

MVL: Three. I got three hours.

KS: Sorry. Go back to sleep.

MVL: No, tell me. I'm up now, so it better be good.

KS: I blooded him. I blooded Cyrus. Halfway, that is.

MVL: Congratulations. Thank you for waking me up to tell me that.

KS: Well you got more sleep than I did, cause I've been awake all day feeling like I've ruined his life. We're camped in a cave, it's raining and freezing. He's still sleeping it off.

(Even a thousand miles apart, Kurda could practically hear Mika's slow sigh of exasperation).

MVL: Dare I ask why earth you feel like you've ruined his life?

KS: I don't know, maybe because I just irreversibly initiated him into a gruesomely violent and impossibly harsh existence? Oh, and I completely decimated any chance he had at a safe, comfortable life?

MVL: Kurda...

KS: This kid's had such an awful past, Mika. He just wants to feel like he belongs somewhere. Did I take advantage of that? The clan can be so violent, he doesn't need any more of that. And some of our laws are positively archaic-

MVL: Kurda...

KS: I've only known him for a few months and that's not even a long time, really. He wanted it so badly but he has no idea what he's gotten himself into! I just-

MVL: KURDA! Breathe, ok? Just breathe...

KS: I am breathing.

MVL: You're hyperventilating. I can tell.

KS: Lucky guess.

MVL: Not lucky. I just know you.

KS: Sorry if the possibility I may have sentenced an innocent young man to some ugly gruesome death is making me slightly agitated.

MVL: Kurda, did you tie the kid down and forcibly pump your blood into his veins?

KS: No. That's insane.

MVL: Did you clearly go over every last vampire law, weird tradition, side effect, and physical changes his body will undergo?

KS: Have you met me? Of course I told him everything.

MVL: Did you give him ample time to change his mind? Did you make sure he was clear-headed when he made the final decision to take your blood?

KS: Obviously, Mika.

MVL: Alright, then stop antagonizing yourself about it. You gave him all of the information. You told him exactly what he can expect from his new future. And he made his choice. And if he ever regrets it, you need to remember that it's not on you.

There was a pause. Kurda felt his heart rate begin to slow for the first time in hours.

KS: When you're right, you're right.

MVL: This is a crucial turning point in his life. So time to sit up, bury all that anxiety six feet under, and put your game face on. I know you're worried but you can't show it. He needs to see strength when he looks at you. You have to be his rock. Got it?

KS: Loud and clear.

MVL: Good. I'm heading down to the Hall of Princes to do all the things I just told you to do, but for the whole clan. I'd love to tell you it gets easier but really you just get used to it. Dumber vampires than you have raised great apprentices.

KS: True. Look at Arra, she turned out fine. Oh wait, you didn't actually blood her yourself.

MVL: Pfft. Next time you wake me up at an ungodly hour with an internal crisis I'm going to tell you to go fuck yourself.

KS: Sorry. Kidding.

MVL: I know. You get mean when you're stressed.

KS: I really am feeling better now, though. Thanks for listening.

MVL: Don't mention it. How many times have you talked me off the ledge now? Actually, don't answer that.

KS: I think he's waking up. Thanks again. Talk soon.

MVL: Luck to you.

KS: Gonna need it.

***

I forgot that you  
Sent me a clear message  
Taught me some hard lessons  
I just forget what they were  
It's all just a blur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final notes:
> 
> 1) If using snips telepathic dialogue is lazy writing, then I'll lace that shoe up and wear it proudly. It's fun, it's easy, and it's a good way to advance things even while they're far apart.
> 
> 2) Remember Cyrus from book 6? Plots the betrayal with Kurdy but offs himself before being captured? Das him.
> 
> 3) They're so sassy. I love them SO SO MUCH. AGH. 
> 
> See you next time!
> 
> \- Roxy


	8. I'm Always Tired (But Never Of You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you miss me like I miss you?  
> Fucked around and got attached to you  
> Friends can break your heart too  
> And I'm always tired but never of you"
> 
> ***
> 
> Why is it so easy for Mika to exchange those three little words with everyone except the one person who probably should've heard them by now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey babies! Here is chapter 8. I'm gonna be straight up with y'all. We are still riding the Angst Train. I can't tell you where it stops but I can tell you it will stop eventually. But for now they're being idiots about their feelings so I am punishing them.
> 
> There's a lot of love in this chapter. This is basically split into four separate conversations Mika has with his nearest and dearest. See if you can pick out what three of them have in common, and what's missing from the other ;) 
> 
> Chapter 8: I'm Always Tired (But Never Of You)
> 
> Song: I Hate U I Love U by Gnash + Olivia O'Brien

Feeling used, but I'm  
Still missing you and I can't  
See the end of this just wanna feel your kiss  
Against my lips and now all this time  
Is passing by, but I still can't seem to tell you why  
It hurts me every time I see you  
Realize how much I need you

***

"Arrow, forgive me for bringing this up, but how did you know when you were truly in love with Sarah? How did you know she was the one?" Mika asked out of the blue one day. They were sitting in the Hall of Princes together polishing their swords. They had a meeting scheduled with some Generals but poor weather conditions had delayed their arrival to the mountain. So for now the Princes had time to kill.

Arrow took the sudden question in stride. He looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I don't really know how to put it into words but I just knew." He replied wistfully with a small shrug. "When I looked at her, everything just made sense. And I felt like I was at home, no matter where we were."

Mika nodded contemplatively.

"I wish you got more time with her. I'm sorry I brought it up." Mika glanced over at his friend. He hadn't broached this topic lightly, but he genuinely wanted a second opinion.

"It's alright. No need to worry about me." Said Arrow with a sincere look back at Mika. "Everything okay with you?"

Mika sighed in a way that suggested it wasn't, but answered -

"Yeah, it's great. Just wanted to hear your thoughts. I've known you practically my whole life but we've never really talked about that before."

"You and Arra are rock-solid. You have nothing to worry about." Said Arrow with an encouraging smile. "I mean, you're essentially the same person in different packaging. Like you and me."

Mika hummed softly in agreement, but didn't meet Arrow's gaze. Arrow regarded him curiously but said nothing.

"How would you know the difference between someone you're in love with, and someone you've just been through a lot with?" Mika asked as he painstakingly ran a cloth down his wide flat blade.

"What's gotten into you today? You're being cryptic." Arrow inquired with narrowed eyes.

"Sorry. I'm just thinking out loud."

"Well, love is love." Said Arrow. "If you're in love with someone, you'll know. Trust me."

Mika nodded slowly with a decidedly distant expression on his face.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Arrow prodded. He was only asking to be polite, he was now certain that something was off.

"I'm good, really."

Liar, Arrow thought to himself.

"And what would you have done if Sarah hadn't felt the same way about you?" Mika cautiously ventured after a brief silence.

"Well, I would have been devastated." Arrow replied matter-of-factly. "But I would have moved on with my life. It'd be the right thing to do. I loved her far too much to try to pressure her or change her mind. If the feelings hadn't been mutual, I would have respected that. But I was very lucky, she accepted my proposal before the words were even out of my mouth." He finished with a sad smile.

"And how did you know she loved you back?"

"Well, she told me, of course." Said Arrow flatly, raising his eyebrows.

"Ah. Makes sense." Mika replied with a distant look in his eyes. He was still polishing the blade even though it had reached maximum shine.

"I can't read your mind, Mika. Close, but not quite." Said Arrow reproachfully. "I can tell you what I see from my point of view, which is that you and Arra are perfectly compatible with each other. You fit together naturally. But if there's something else you aren't telling me..."

"Sorry." Mika sighed. "I didn't mean to upset you, or bring up bad memories. I just need to figure out what the hell I'm doing. Thanks for giving me your perspective."

"Since when does Mika Ver Leth not know what the hell he's doing?" Arrow replied suspiciously. The math just wasn't adding up here.

Mika heaved a long sigh.

"Since he - I mean I - started considering proposing to Arra." He admitted slowly, gradually raising his gaze to meet Arrow's. The tattooed Prince's face lit up like the sun. He looked so overjoyed, Mika felt obliged to at least try to match his energy.

"WHAT?! Mika, this is huge!" Arrow bellowed, standing up out of his throne and pulling Mika into one of his trademark rib-cracking hugs. "You?! Getting married - er, mated. Incredible! I can't believe it!"

Mika relaxed his tense body for a moment and allowed himself to be embraced. There was no hug like an Arrow hug. When Arrow eventually withdrew, he paused with his hands firmly gripping Mika's shoulders so he could examine him at arm's length.

"What's that face for?" Arrow demanded impatiently. "You can smile! This is a good thing!"

"Of course I'm happy! Arra is the greatest. It's just a lot to process."

Mika felt Arrow's grip soften slightly and he tilted his head to the side, observing Mika with what looked like concern.

"Do you love her, Mika? That's literally the only thing you need to process. If you love each other, nothing else matters."

Mika wrapped his hands around each of Arrow's wrists and determinedly met his best friend's steady gaze.

"Arrow, I've known her forever. We've seen each other at our best and worst. I've been through hell and back with her. So I think I'd know if I loved her. Right?"

Arrow frowned and let go of Mika's shoulders, then slowly sat back down in his own throne.

"You know I love you, Mika. I'm certain of that much in life. You're my best friend, my brother, my - what the hell did Kurda use to call us?"

"Ale-slurping co-dependent heterosexual soulmates." Said Mika with a ghost of a smile.

"Yes. That. I'll help you however I can, but I can't do anything unless you let me in."

Mika inhaled, and for a moment he felt dangerously close to launching into the whole Kurda story. The real Kurda story. But then the tardy gaggle of Generals began to file into the Hall of Princes, so Mika and Arrow each sat up straight, put on their game faces, and didn't say another word about it.

***

I miss you when I can't sleep  
Or right after coffee  
Or right when I can't eat  
I miss you in my front seat  
Still got sand in my sweaters  
From nights we don't remember

Do you miss me like I miss you?  
Fucked around and got attached to you  
Friends can break your heart too  
And I'm always tired but never of you

***

Many hours later, Mika lay on his back in coffin, staring up at the stony ceiling as his mind raced faster than he believed was possible. Arra was sleeping across the mountain in her own cell tonight. That was a nice thing they had in common - they both liked to have their own space sometimes. It was really convenient for times when he wanted to have a mental breakdown in private, like now. Arrow's words were ricocheting off the inner walls of his brain:

"Well, I would have been devastated. But I would have moved on with my life. It'd be the right thing to do. I loved her far too much to try to pressure her or change her mind."

'Case closed. Kurda doesn't love you like that!' The logical part of his mind screamed at him in frustration. 'He didn't even flinch when you kissed Arra in front of everyone! Remember when you got carried away and ALMOST let it slip that you loved him? And after that, when you told him it was to stop sleeping together, what did he say? He said "You're right!" He didn't even ask why! It's over! Let yourself move on. It's not too late to be happy with Arra.'

Mika felt his heart rate increase by the second. He groaned softly and covered his face in his hands, trying to force himself to calm down. He'd always been a bit of an insomniac but it was mainly because he didn't generally enjoy being alone with his thoughts. Honestly, his brain could be a real prick. But it had been a long time since it had spiralled like this. He'd thought he had it under control. He thought wrong.

There was a tiny, hopeful part of him that hadn't yet turned cold and jaded like the rest of him. That was the part that reached out to Kurda as he lay there alone in the dark. He tried to stop, but he couldn't help himself. (Or maybe he just didn't try that hard).

MVL: You up?

KS: Was just dozing off.

MVL: Sorry. We can talk tomorrow.

KS: It's alright. What's wrong?

MVL: Nothing. Just wanted to check in. Been a while.

KS: Doing well, thanks for asking. On track to meet up with the Vampan- er, with my friends in the next few days. Cyrus doing well so far. He's tough. I think you'll like him.

MVL: Is he a mini-you yet?

KS: Almost. I've successfully brainwashed him into exclusively supporting non-violent conflict resolution. We go to hippie protests every other day. Smoke weed all the time. All there's left to do is bleach his hair and we'll be all set.

MVL: And you tell me I'm sarcastic?

KS: I had to become fluent in order to keep up with you.

MVL: Hah.

KS: But really, he's doing great. Don't worry, I AM teaching him to fight. Only because he'll need those skills whether I like it or not. He's learning quickly and looking forwards to his first visit to the mountain. I'm proud of him.

MVL: Sounds like you've got this mentoring thing figured out.

KS: It's not hard. He's basically Grace, if Grace was a troubled 29 year old man. Kinda prone to mood swings but mostly just wants to be told he's doing a good job. Happiest when fed. Smart as hell, listens to everything I say.

MVL: I'm not helping you raise this one, if that's what you're getting at.

KS: Don't you worry, I've got this.

MVL: Ha. Knew you'd be fine. You overthought it just by a bit, huh? I recall you didn't sound this breezy last time we talked.

KS: Maybe so. But you're not one to talk about overthinking.

MVL: Touché. Actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

KS: Do elaborate.

MVL: Well... for the past few weeks I've been considering... taking the next step with Arra.

KS: The next step being...?

MVL: I'm thinking of proposing to her, Kurda.

KS: Mika... wow. That's so... wow.

MVL. But I won't go through with it if it's not okay with you. You know- because of Gracie and... everything. I need to know how you feel about it. I just... I want to know. That's all.

Mika felt like his heart was about to hammer a hole through his chest. It was taking all of his concentration to keep his mind somewhat clear so Kurda wouldn't catch on to the fact that he was on the verge of falling apart.

MVL: ...You still there?

KS: I'm here.

MVL: Talk to me.

KS: I support you, Mika. Always have, always will. Everyone's always saying how well you fit together, right?

MVL: Right. But I already know what everyone else thinks. I want to know what you think.

KS: I think you deserve to be happy. And I think she makes you happy. I'm okay with her being a bigger part of Grace's life. So if that's what you want, then you should go for it.

Mika felt an excruciating sting in his throat and his eyes began to burn.

KS: Mika? You still awake?

MVL: Yeah. Sorry.

KS: You okay?

MVL: I'm great. Thanks for being honest with me. I feel better now.

KS: No problem.

MVL: See you next month, right?

KS: Yes. Sleep well.

MVL: You too.

With that, their mental connection went dead and Mika finally permitted himself to break down, as quietly as he could manage. Paris tended to wake up frequently to use the water closet and Mika figured the only thing that could make this worse was someone overhearing him sobbing in his coffin and - gods forbid - coming in to see if he was okay. That would just be pouring salt into a wound.

***

If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit  
I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit  
I type a text but then I never mind that shit  
I got these feelings but you never mind that shit

Oh, oh  
Keep it on the low  
You're still in love with me but your friends don't know  
If you wanted me you would just say so  
And if I were you, I would never let me go

***

He wasn't surprised when sleep continued to elude him for hours upon hours. He'd only just managed to doze off when he was jerked back to reality by a loud knock on the door. Arra came barging in, tousle-haired and smiling.

"Rise and shine, Princess!" She chirped, flinging his coffin lid open.

"Five more minutes." He mumbled pathetically, turning on his side and burying his face in the pillow. Partially because the sudden light was an assault on his pounding head, but mostly so she couldn't see how red his eyes were. The thought of getting up and seeing people was making him want to die a little.

"Just five. Paris is looking for you. He needs you to introduce the new training program for the guards. Arrow was supposed to do it but Vanez broke his foot yesterday so now Arrow's filling in for him, leading a session for the General prospects. That means you need to fill in for Arrow."

"What time is it?"

"Six something." Arra shrugged. "Come on! You never sleep past six."

Mika muttered something incoherent and Arra attempted to bring him to life by sliding into the coffin next to him and peppering his face and neck with kisses. Her fingers slid under his shirt and traced playfully down his chest. But as they reached his hips, he halted her advance by wrapping his arms around her small frame and pulling her close to him, ever so gently til her head resting on his chest.

"You okay, Mika?" She murmured seriously. She knew he'd been off lately but had given him his space. It was what she would have wanted if their positions were reversed.

"Mmhm. Didn't sleep great." He replied softly without opening his eyes.

"Having bad dreams again?"

"Not enough sleep to dream."

"Tell me what I can do." She insisted, reaching up to gently stroke his forehead.

"Nothing. It's okay. Just need a couple minutes."

"What if I go ahead and start the guard training, and you join us later?"

Mika cracked open one crusty eye and peered down at her. He felt his cold, dead heart warm just a little. None of his unresolved feelings for Kurda could ever detract from the fact that she was just so, SO good.

"You can do that?" He croaked hopefully.

"Mika, they literally stand around holding spears all day. It won't be difficult to expand on that." She smirked. "Get some more sleep and find us when you're ready."

"You're my hero." He whispered, kissing her on the cheek.

"Someone has to be. I'm taking one for the clan, really." She teased as she carefully disentangled herself from his arms and stepped out of the coffin. She paused and looked back before walking out the door.

"Oh, what do you want me to tell Paris?"

"Don't worry about Paris. I'll send him a message." Mika replied, both eyes closed again.

"Sounds good."

She started towards the door once again, and stopped one last time.

"I'm worried about you, Mika. Something's off."

"Sorry." He replied softly. "My brain's been doing that thing again. You know, where it just... doesn't shut off? Thought I had it under control but here we are again. I'm really sorry, Arra. I didn't mean to worry you."

It wasn't a lie, not even close. He simply wasn't naming names (cough, Kurda). Arra sighed sympathetically.

"Yes, I'm well familiar with the many weird and wonderful things your brain does. Now tell it to piss off so you can rest."

"Can't believe I hadn't thought of that. You know it's not too late for you to pursue a career as a psychologist." He shot back.

She laughed.

"Go the fuck to sleep, Mika. I'll see you later. Love you."

"Love you."

***

I don't mean no harm  
I just miss you on my arm  
Wedding bells were just alarms  
Caution tape around my heart

You ever wonder what we could have been?  
You said you wouldn't and you fucking did  
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix  
Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed

***

As her footsteps faded into the distance, Mika reluctantly reached out to Paris in his mind.

MVL: Paris?

PS: Good evening, my son.

MVL: FYI I sent Arra to take my place for the guard training thing. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'll take over as soon as I can. Will just be a little late.

PS: Slow down. Is everything alright? Your mind feels much more fragmented than usual and that is saying something.

Mika groaned inwardly, for the umpteenth time that day. (And he hadn't even gotten out of his coffin yet). Paris always had this uncanny ability to read deeper than most vampires could while communicating telepathically. To put it in perspective:

When two acquaintances exchanged words via their mental link, that's all they were. Just words. If they were closer than mere acquaintances, it was easier to pick up on subtle nuances. Like little clues that indicated their mental state. For example, how Mika can tell right away when Kurda is stressed. Or when Arrow is angry. Et cetera.

And then there's Paris who can receive one message and instantly know exactly how you're feeling, what you're thinking, what colour your socks are, and what you ate for breakfast. Maybe was something that came with age, but either way it was a hell of a skill.

MVL: Rough night. Need an extra minute. I'm sorry.

PS: Oh, my dear Mika. You are the very last vampire in this clan who needs to apologize. The effort you put into your work is unmatched, even by your peers. If something is wrong, you can take the whole night off.

MVL: That is kind of you, Paris. I appreciate your understanding. But I'll be up and running soon.

PS: For you to admit you're struggling, I can only imagine what sort of inner turmoil you must be in. It worries me.

MVL: Don't worry about me. Please. Save your energy for something more important.

PS: Mika, I've seen you work through every injury and inconvenience the gods could possibly throw at you. I have never once heard you complain. I don't know what's going on with you, and I respect your privacy. But please understand that my concern for you is valid.

Paris's internal voice sounded so dismayed, Mika felt his heart break all over again.

MVL: I understand. Last thing I ever want is to upset you. One of these days, maybe we can talk about it. But not today.

PS: I would like that. I know how skilled you are at masking your feelings, enough to fool even your closest friends... but I have been around much longer than any of them. Not much slips past me.

MVL: I love you, Paris. I know I don't tell you enough.

PS: Mika, I will love you until the Hall of Princes cracks open and Vampire Mountain turns to dust. Sometimes I fear you have no idea just how loved you really are. Now get some rest.

***

Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing  
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance  
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing  
But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings

When love and trust are gone  
I guess this is moving on  
Everyone I do right does me wrong  
So every lonely night I sing this song

***

Mika's pity party lasted the better part of a week. He was so conflicted and frustrated and just plain sad. Eventually it got to the point where he was even annoyed at himself. He was once again tempted to spill the beans on the whole Kurda conundrum to Arrow in hopes his friend would knock some sense into him. Knowing Arrow, he would have gladly obliged.

Instead, he reached into the lining of his coffin and pulled out the old blue t-shirt that had been stashed there. Kurda had left it behind and Mika had always meant to return it but he never got around to it. Plus when he closed his eyes and really focused, it still smelled like him. He didn't sleep with it, per se. But having it nearby felt good. Until it didn't, of course.

'This is closure,' he told himself. 'This is how I put it to rest, end of story.' So he picked up the shirt and carried it down to Kurda's original cell on the other side of the mountain. There, he folded it neatly into a perfect little square. He opened Kurda's coffin lid and set the shirt inside. He closed his eyes and drew a deep, steadying breath. He allowed himself a moment to reminisce upon the countless hours they'd spent in this very room, getting to know every last inch of each other's bodies in intimate detail.

"I love you, Kurda Smahlt." He spoke aloud into the empty room. Why oh why was it so hard to say those words now, yet he could say them so easily to Arrow, to Paris, to Arra? Perhaps some mysteries aren't meant to be solved.

He deftly closed the coffin lid and latched it shut. Then he swept out of the room without a backwards glance. And at long last, he felt the crippling weight lift from his shoulders.

It was finally over.

***

I hate you, I love you  
I hate that I love you  
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you  
I hate you, I love you  
I hate that I want you  
You want her, you need her  
And I'll never be her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate how much I enjoyed writing this chapter. I just really fucking love Mika, man. There's so much going on in his head. I don't know how he can be so smart but so bad at feelings. 
> 
> Til next time, my dears!
> 
> \- Roxy


	9. Can You Come And Save Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This girl's alright, guess she'll do  
> Got her in my bed but I just want you"
> 
> ***
> 
> Kurda deals with the fallout of Mika starting to map out a future with Arra while learning how to be Cyrus's mentor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is up my dudes! Sorry for the wait - the wifi in my building was down for a few days but the good news is I have a T O N of future stuff written. But for now, welcome back :)
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to tumblr user ProcrastinatingAuthorAtWork because last night they sent me a message starting with 'I HATE YOU SO MUCH' in regards to their feelings on the previous chapter. And that my friends, the ultimate form of praise because the knowledge that people besides me are invested in this story is just amazing. (Also I'm sorry for causing you pain but I promise the angst train will eventually slow down. What's a story without conflict and challenge? ;)
> 
> If you're on tumblr, come visit me @ MikaVerLeth (my personal corner of the Shandom) or @ FestivalOfTheUndead (a celebration of all things CDF). 
> 
> Chapter 9: But I Just Want You
> 
> Song: Want You Back by Elijah Woods x Jamie Fine (seriously go listen to it it's SUCH A VIBE.

I'm sick of that talk that you're talkin'  
Take another shot, oh, somebody oughta cut me off  
Sick of that walk that you're walkin'  
You say you want it all but I always see you runnin' off with her  
Only I miss us when I'm this drunk  
So, baby, pick up  
So we can just talk, I'm kinda lonely  
Drinking from the bottle got me thinkin' that you're all I want

Out all night, came alone  
Fuck my life, think I lost my phone  
This girl's alright, guess she'll do  
Got her in my bed but I just want you

***

MVL: I'm thinking of proposing to her, Kurda.

Shattered didn't even begin to cover it. Kurda wasn't even surprised, but he'd become close friends with denial in recent months.

KS: Mika... wow. That's so... wow.

Kurda knew that was the absolute worst reply in the history of replies.

MVL. But I won't go through with it if it's not okay with you. You know- because of Gracie and... everything. I need to know how you feel about it. I just... I want to know. That's all.

'That's all. Sure, Mika. Sure. Whatever you need to tell yourself.' Kurda thought bitterly as he felt his eyes begin to burn.

MVL: ...You still there?

'Of course I'm fucking here. I'd be anywhere you wanted me to be. Prick.' Thought Kurda.

KS: I'm here.

MVL: Talk to me.

KS: I support you, Mika. Always have, always will. Everyone's always saying how well you fit together, right?

MVL: Right. But I already know what everyone else thinks. I want to know what you think.

'I promise you do not want to know what I think.'

KS: I think you deserve to be happy. And I think she makes you happy. I'm okay with her being a bigger part of Grace's life. So if that's what you want, then you should go for it.

There was some underlying shift in Mika's mental link that felt off and it wasn't lost on Kurda that Mika really did care about what he thought about this. But part of Kurda would've rather been left in the dark.

KS: Mika? You still awake?

MVL: Yeah. Sorry.

KS: You okay?

MVL: I'm great. Thanks for being honest with me. I feel better now.

'Honest. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA'.

KS: No problem.

MVL: See you next month, right?

KS: Yes. Sleep well.

MVL: You too

'I won't.' Kurda thought bitterly. 'I'd hate for you to lose a wink of sleep over me.'

The first time Kurda's mentoring skills were truly put to the test came the day following that conversation. The one where, for some bizarre reason, Mika felt the need to seek Kurda's blessing or whatever before proposing to Arra. And for some even more bizarre reason, Kurda gave it to him.

Kurda didn't exactly sleep like a rock after that. And it didn't help that he was literally sleeping ON a rock at the time. He tossed and turned fitfully, resenting the fact that Mika was probably sound asleep in his beloved XL luxury coffin with Arra cozy in his arms, not sparing Kurda another thought.

If you're familiar with the being known as Kurda Smahlt, you're probably aware that he almost constantly radiates sunshine and warmth. His hair is made of stardust and his eyes sparkle like a tropical tidepool. He exudes a mystical aura of pure wonder at all times.

Except for that day. Cyrus had to prod him three whole times before he slowly creaked upright bedraggledly. All Kurda wanted to do was meander into the nearby village and buy himself some overpriced sugar-filled caffeinated beverage and sit in the window and wallow in self-pity. But Cyrus was fresh-faced and eager to go do vampire stuff. To be honest, Kurda just wasn't in the mood for vampire stuff on that particular night but he sucked it up, plastered on an encouraging smile, and taught Cyrus how to catch and cook a rabbit. Cyrus was thrilled. Kurda just wanted a damn cappuccino. His poor mood lasted the entire day. He didn't know whether his patience was wearing thin, or if Cyrus had more questions than usual but he put on his "game face" as Mika called it and Cyrus was none the wiser to his inner turmoil. Luckily it was only two days after that when they met up with Glalda Erifith and his small handful of travelling companions. This provided Kurda with a very welcome distraction.

Glalda and Kurda met up every few years to check in with each other regarding the status of their respective clans. They both dreamed of peace and many of their conversations centred around their common pipe dream of someday reaching a union between the vampires and the vampaneze. In ideal circumstances, Kurda would have preferred to meet up with Glalda alone but he couldn't very well leave Cyrus by himself yet. At first Cyrus was confused as to why Kurda was so determined to be some sort of peacekeeper between the vampaneze and the vampire clans. He didn't know much about their purple-skinned relatives but everything he did know was tinged with bitterness and negativity.

At first Glalda was highly suspicious that Kurda had brought another vampire, but the General quickly explained the situation and Glalda reluctantly welcomed Cyrus as well. Secretly Kurda was glad that one of Cyrus's first adventures would allow him to think for himself, to form his own opinions on the vampaneze clan - independent of what the majority of vampires thought. Kurda ended up being proud of how open-minded he was. It took him a few days of standoffishness but eventually he came around.

They had spent about two weeks travelling together, co-existing side by side when Kurda felt an all-too-familiar presence insert itself into his mind. They were sitting around a campfire at the time. Glalda was re-telling one of his older stories so nobody noticed when Kurda mentally checked out for a few minutes.

MVL: How's it going out there?

KS: Great. Tell Arrow I'm about to start holding hands and singing "Kumbayah" with my purple friends.

MVL: Not funny.

KS: I know for a FACT you just laughed. I can hear it in your mind.

MVL: Fine. It was a little funny. But I'm not saying a word to Arrow or he won't let you back into the mountain.

KS: How tragic that would be. Who would monitor all of you for concussion symptoms after you finish bashing your skulls together?

MVL: Seba, probably.

KS: Glad to know there'll be someone looking after you seeing as I might just live in this forest forever with my new friends.

He knew he touched a nerve with that one. He felt a flicker of electricity through their mental link.

MVL: First of all, don't even joke about that.

KS: Right. Sorry.

MVL: Second of all, I kind of wanted you to come to my wedding - I mean, my mating ceremony.

KS: You proposed? Why didn't you lead with that?!

MVL: Asked her earlier tonight. She said yes.

KS: Well, congratulations. I'm very happy to hear you'll legally be her problem from now on.

MVL: Ha. Thanks. Still not sure what she sees in me.

KS: Probably your upbeat attitude and winning personality.

MVL: That must be it.

KS: Or it could be your adequate skills as a lover.

MVL: I guess you'd know that. Wait, adequate? I'm withdrawing your invitation.

KS: Hah. So when's the big day?

MVL: Once the guests can make it back to the mountain. A month or so.

KS: Guests? Who do you even like besides Arrow and me?

MVL: Paris may or may not be getting a little overzealous about how extravagant the whole event needs to be. And Arrow may or may not be egging him on. Traitor.

KS: Wow. Sounds like you've got quite a situation on your hands.

MVL: If I had it my way, I'd do it tomorrow. Close friends only. You could've flitted in for the day. But Paris clearly doesn't have enough to do so he's turning it into a whole thing. And not everyone's allowed to flit to the mountain so we have to wait. Ugh.

KS: My deepest sympathies to you.

MVL: ...But you'll be there, right?

KS: Yes, Mika. I raised an entire child with you. I think I can fit your wedding into my schedule.

MVL: Thanks. And it's not a wedding.

KS: You called it a wedding.

MVL: I didn't mean to. That's what Arrow keeps calling it and it got in my head. He says mating is for animals. Out of all the arbitrary weird clan traditions, that's where he draws the line apparently.

KS: To-may-to, to-mah-to I suppose.

MVL: Well, I won't keep you from your real friends any longer. Let me know when you're heading back to the mountain.

KS: We'll head out in the next few days. See you at your wedding!

MVL: Not a wedding. Save travels, General Smahlt.

***

"So you know all the Princes really well, then?" Cyrus asked asked Kurda excitedly one night as they made camp. They were about a week away from Vampire Mountain at that point.

"I have gotten to know them quite well over the years." Kurda replied with a smile as he started to build a fire. "I've been rather fortunate that way."

"What are they like?"

"Well, Paris Skyle is absolutely incredible. He's nearing 800 years old. He has so many great stories and I've never heard the same one twice."

"800!" Cyrus gasped. "I still can't believe I could potentially still be around in 800 years."

"It's rare for even a vampire to make it that far. Paris is very clever, very strong, and very lucky." Kurda explained gently. "But I certainly hope you live a similarly prosperous life." He added with a smile. They were now both sitting down on opposite sides of the merrily crackling fire.

"What about the rest of the Princes?"

"Well, there's also Vancha March. Out of the four of them, I'm the least familiar with him but he's a lot of fun. He prefers not to stay in the mountain very long so we don't see much of him. He pops in every few years and spends a couple months with us. He's a real character." Kurda chuckled.

"How so?"

"Well, meeting Vancha is kind of a cultural experience so I won't spoil it for you. But he thinks he can become immune to the sun if he tries hard enough."

"...He WHAT?!"

"No, seriously. But anyway, onto the next one. That would be Arrow. Nobody knows his last name. I don't even know if he knows his last name. But he's definitely one of a kind so he's pretty easy to identify. He had a human wife years ago but she was murdered by the vampaneze. It's a touchy subject. I recommend not bringing up our purple-skinned cousins in his presence. But he's a good man and a great Prince. I respect him."

"Do the Princes ever get angry when you go meet with them like we just did with Glalda?"

Kurda paused to think about that for a moment.

"They don't necessarily think it's a good thing. My feelings towards the vampaneze clan aren't exactly popular amongst the vampires. But I'm not breaking any laws so they can't really say anything. As a General, they trust me not to do anything that could have negative repercussions for the clan and I take my responsibilities seriously. So that's good enough for them, even when they don't agree with me." Kurda explained patiently.

Cyrus slowly nodded his head as he took it all in.

"I guess that makes sense."

"Good. I'm glad."

"And Mika Ver Leth's the other Prince, right?"

Kurda half-smiled as he gazed into the glowing embers at the base of the fire.

"Yes. I almost forgot about him."

(Hah. As if he could forget Mika Ver Leth).

"What's he like?"

Kurda closed his eyes for a moment. How did he even begin to answer that? What could be possibly say?

Mika Ver Leth constantly smells like cedarwood and fresh mountain air? He's annoyingly funny, smart as hell, and the most challenging person I've ever met in my life? He's tougher than a diamond and somehow good at literally everything? He's offensively handsome, even when he's grumpy or sick or running around doing dumb shit with Arrow? When he leans back in his throne and tilts his head a certain way I just about lose my mind? That he raised the bar so damn I I literally can't imagine being with another man for as long as I live?

"He's... he's a force of nature." Kurda finally said, still staring into the fire. "He's the youngest Vampire Prince in history and he's excellent at his job. That's all I can really think to say about him."

"So you and him... were together at some point?" Cyrus asked cautiously.

Kurda laughed a little too sharply but Cyrus didn't seem to pick up on it.

"No. I mean, not in that way. We've spent a lot of time together over the years and we actually ended up becoming close friends. Although before we rescued and subsequently adopted Grace, we honestly didn't get along that well. Co-parenting really brought us together. It's sort of funny, actually."

Funny was certainly one word for it.

"I see." Said Cyrus thoughtfully as he prodded the burning logs with a long stick. "I always just assumed you were a couple. Or that you had been at some point."

"Not in this lifetime." Said Kurda softly.

Cyrus quietly continued to push the embers around in the fire pit for several more minutes.

"So... are there many vampires out there who... aren't necessarily into women? You know what I mean?" Cyrus asked in a very small voice. He was looking up at Kurda now, his face illuminated in the orange glow of the fire. He looked a little apprehensive and Kurda immediately understood why. The blond General smiled back at him encouragingly.

"Lots, Cyrus. More than you'd expect, honestly. In fact, you're looking at one."

Cyrus's face immediately broke out in glowing relief.

"Really?" He whispered hoarsely. There was a note of hope in his voice that reached through Kurda's chest and warmed his tired, chilly heart.

"The clan may be a judgemental lot, as I've told you a few times now." Kurda replied conversationally. "But they don't judge in the same ways that humans do. The average vampire will care more about your honour and combat skills than your sexuality. That's not to say there aren't bad apples in every crowd. Unfortunately we aren't immune to hatred and bigotry." (Looking you, Dean. Barf). "But all-in-all, you're free to be whoever you want to be. If you've never had a chance to be your true self this far in your life, then I am so sorry to hear that. But it's going to be different now, Cyrus. I promise."

That was the first time the two of them really connected as mentor and student. They'd gotten along quite well since they first met several months ago but things were different after that conversion. Different in a good way - Kurda couldn't remember the last time that happened. Cyrus seemed more at ease, and Kurda realized that maybe, just maybe, he was half-decent at this whole mentorship thing. Maybe that was the universe letting him win for a change.

Kurda couldn't have cared less whether or not he made some sort of grand entrance back into Vampire Mountain after his months away. All he really wanted to do was sleep in his own coffin for a few hours then slowly give Cyrus the grand tour.

"Welcome back, General Smahlt." One of the guards, Wester Flack, greeted him at the door. "How was your time away from the mountain?"

"It was alright." Said Kurda with a tired smile. "Wester, this is my newly acquired apprentice, Cyrus. Cyrus, this is Wester. I've known him for several decades. He recently took on the very important role of helping guard the mountain."

"Nice to meet you!" Said Wester, extending his hand which Cyrus shook firmly.

"Likewise." Said Cyrus. "It's good to be here."

"How have things been here? I trust you're keeping everyone in line?" Kurda asked with a sly grin at Wester.

"I do my best." He replied with a chuckle. "The Princes have asked you to report to their hall immediately upon your arrival."

Kurda sighed.

"Can't I take a nap first? Or shower, even?"

Wester grinned.

"Sire Ver Leth said you'd say that. And he ordered me to tell you no."

"Typical." Kurda snorted. "Alright, Cyrus. Ready to go meet the Princes?"

"What if they don't like me?" Cyrus whispered anxiously as they made their way up through the mountain.

"Seeing as you're currently a half-blooded apprentice, I doubt they'll expend much energy forming an opinion about you." Said Kurda tactfully. "They probably won't even remember your name for the first while. It's nothing personal, they're just very busy. Be pleasant and respectful and it'll go fine."

"Oh." Said Wester quizzically. "Well, I suppose that makes me feel better."

There were about a dozen vampires in the Hall of Princes when Kurda and Cyrus slipped through the doors. Two were standing at the front of the hall; Kurda recognized them as fellow Generals although he couldn't remember their names. And a few others were scattered around the front pews, waiting their turn to talk to the Princes. Paris and Mika were standing at a small round table with the Generals, pointing at dots on a map with looks of great concentration. Arra was there too, standing at Mika's side but maintaining a professional distance. Arrow was still in his throne - napping, by the looks of it. As Kurda quietly approached, he could see Paris glare at the snoozing Prince every few seconds. Some things never change.

As Kurda was roughly halfway between the door and the thrones, Mika looked up and immediately caught his eye. Mika's face lit up like a solar flare at the sight of him and Kurda felt his heart lurch. He wished he had more time to decide what sort of facial expression to use for this particular moment but quickly attempted an easygoing smile.

"If it isn't General Smahlt! Welcome home!" Mika yelled pleasantly from across the room. He immediately stepped away from his meeting and approached Kurda briskly, arms outstretched. Kurda forced himself to remain smiling as Mika flung his arms around him and patted his back roughly, similar to how he typically greeted Arrow. Some things do change.

"Good to see you, Sire Ver Leth." Said Kurda, feeling his fake smile change to genuine at the sound of those words rolling off his tongue. He wrapped his own arms around Mika's back, pressing his face into the Prince's shoulder for a moment and inhaling. Why couldn't Mika just smell awful like every other vampire? Gods, he was so inconsiderate.

They broke apart and Kurda opened his mouth to introduce his new apprentice but was absolutely stunned when Mika brushed past him.

"You must be Cyrus! Welcome." The Prince declared amicably as threw his arms around Cyrus as well. Kurda was baffled. Mika wasn't a hugger. He patiently tolerated Arrow's hugs and that was about it. Kurda figured he must've taken up drugs. That was the only logical explanation. Cyrus gawked at Kurda out of the corner of his eye. This warm welcome exact opposite of what Kurda told him to expect.

"I trust Kurda has been taking good care of you?" Mika asked Cyrus lightly as he stepped back to look the pair of them over.

"Yes, Sire." Cyrus responded, looking starstruck.

"Cyrus has made excellent progress these past few months." Said Kurda proudly with an encouraging smile at his apprentice.

"Good to hear. We need a strong new generation more than ever." Said Mika.

"I've had a good teacher." Said Cyrus with a shy smile.

"He's teaching you how to fight, right?" Mika asked with a half-smile. "He said he would but I'll believe it when I see it."

"Yes, Sire. But I'm not very good at it."

"You will be after a few months here. There's a half-dozen other cubs your age living in the mountain right now. You can train with them, you'll fit right in." Replied Mika with yet another uncharacteristically encouraging smile. By that point Arrow, Paris, and Arra had made their way over to where Kurda, Cyrus, and Mika were gathered. Kurda went down the line and introduced them to Cyrus in turn.

"General Smahlt, I was most pleased when I heard you had taken on an apprentice." Said Paris merrily. "He certainly is fortunate to have crossed paths with you."

"You flatter me, Sire Skyle." Said Kurda, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks.

"He'll be fortunate if he even gets to learn one end of the sword from the other." Arra chipped in with a smug grin. Kurda bristled but stifled the retort he was longing to utter.

"I've already grilled him on this, Arra. He knows Cyrus needs to learn the basics. Besides, you know Kurda can fight. Remember the last Festival when he showed you firsthand?" Mika chided her gently, lazily resting his elbow on her shoulder. She rolled her eyes and glared playfully up at him.

"Thanks for coming back to the mountain for the ceremony, Kurda. It means a lot to us." Said Arra. Her tone was blunt but not sarcastic this time. "We're glad you're here."

"Even I missed you." Arrow contributed frankly. "I haven't had a lively debate with anyone in months."

"I thought things were seeming a little quiet." Paris remarked drily. Kurda and Arrow were known for their "spirited" debates that occasionally escalated to near-nuclear levels. Sometimes tables were flipped.

"I never thought I'd admit to missing you, Sire Arrow." Kurda replied with a wry smile. "It's good to see you. All of you. Permission to retire for the night? I'd like to get Cyrus settled in, get a good day's sleep. Then tomorrow I'll treat him to the grand tour."

"Of course." Said Paris. "I'm sure the two of you must be exhausted from your journey. We won't hold you up any longer. It was wonderful to meet you, Cyrus."

"Likewise, Sire."

With that, Kurda and Cyrus departed. Kurda led Cyrus to the unoccupied cell across the hall from his where there was a spare coffin, and they said their goodnights. Kurda stepped through the doors of his own sleeping quarters and paused for a moment to take it all in. Everything was exactly as he left it. His oak coffin in the left corner, his desk to the right. A cork board hanging on the wall featuring some of Grace's artwork.

He'd forgotten about the blue t-shirt. It hadn't crossed his mind since last time he wore it, months upon months ago now. He opened his coffin to see it folded up in a perfect little square and it all came rushing back.

"Fuck, Mika..." he sighed under his breath.

Of all the times they'd carried on in secret last summer, they'd only gotten in Mika's coffin together once. It just wasn't a good hookup location. Grace's room was immediately next door, Arrow's across the hall, and Paris's on the other side. But the stars lined up one night last fall. Grace had just gone back to boarding school, Paris was guarding the Stone of Blood while the mountain slept, and Arrow was on a week-long hunting trip with Vanez.

Maybe it was Mika's XL high-end luxury coffin filled with obscenely soft pillows and blankets, but there was something different about that time. The atmosphere between them was supercharged - they both knew it. They both knew they were on the verge of crossing a line they'd vowed not to cross. Kurda remembered the exact second he felt Mika inhale and pause as though he had something on his mind beyond the heat of the moment, but he never did. Until it was over and they were resting side-by-side in the afterglow and Mika whispered so quietly Kurda could barely hear him.

"We can't keep doing this."

That was the night Kurda had forgotten the t-shirt.

***

I thought I was lost until you found me  
But then we started fightin', I was scared that we would lose it all  
But at what cost? And now I'm fallin'  
Was kinda hoping you would be the one to come and break the fall

Out all night, came alone  
Fuck my life, think I lost my phone  
This girl's alright, guess she'll do  
Got her in my bed but I just want you

Baby  
Baby, come and save me  
Thinkin' we can make it  
I want you back  
Oh, I want you back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter was sort of boring so I'm sorry?? But I am about to ramp things the fuck upppp. 
> 
> Have a beautiful weekend! :)
> 
> \- Roxy


	10. From Wedding Bells To Private Hells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "From wedding bells to private hells  
> To fresh new starts and wish-you-wells  
> From up in lights to up in smoke  
> We just can't let this go"
> 
> ***
> 
> Wedding bells are ringing in Vampire Mountain. No, not mating bells. It's a whole-ass wedding up in here. Paris is a little overenthusiastic. Kurda is trying his best to support Mika and Arra. Arrow knows things. And Mika just wants to get the damn thing over with. Which is a great sign, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday my dudes! :) Buckle the fuck up.
> 
> Chapter 10: From Wedding Bells To Private Hells
> 
> Song: Wildfire by Marianas Trench

Sitting alone in a tiny room  
Waiting for dawn, it should be breaking soon  
I know where you are  
And I know where you've been  
But I never thought we would be here again  
You say that you're lost and need to find yourself  
Can't do that with me, but with somebody else  
You say you're still here  
But you've found a new home  
I say that's a nice way to say I'm alone

***

Mika was extremely well-versed in the intricacies of vampire culture, so when Paris told him that when a Prince agreed to share his life with another there were about a thousand extra steps that needed to be followed at first he didn't believe him. Mika thought it was going to be simple, quick, uncomplicated. They'd stand together in the Hall of Princes and Paris would say a few words, and off they'd go as an officially mated pair. But apparently it wasn't going to be that easy. It would be a full-on festival with lengthy vows, complete with ceremonial decor, a feast and an entire guest list. It would be a party fit for a Prince.

Three weeks before the ceremony, things were starting to come together. They'd reached the part of the to-do list that involved bringing up old pieces of weaponry from the storage rooms to be mounted on the walls in the Hall of Princes, supposedly they would imbue the union with the honour of the vampire clan... or something. So Mika, Kurda, and Paris spent an evening sorting through a handful of storage crates to decide what artifacts to deem worthy of this pseudo-wedding-thing. Arra had left the mountain for a week in an attempt to track down a close friend of hers whom she wanted to invite, something like a Maid of Honour.

"Paris, I promise this is going to be the last time I ask. How is this any different from a human wedding? I don't want decorations. I like our blank walls." Mika grumbled as he hefted an ancient-looking shield from a dusty crate in one of the bottom rooms of the mountain.

"We don't call them weddings, that's the difference." Said Paris, flashing a cheeky grin. "Also, aren't you glad to have these beautiful antique weapons rather than flower arrangements? You'd never see a mace this handsome at a human wedding!" Paris happily held up a rusted old mace he'd found in his crate. "If I can find a second one of these, think of how great they'd look crossed together on the wall behind the thrones!"

Mika rolled his eyes. The only reason he was tolerating any of this was because Paris seemed so genuinely thrilled it was happening. Although he'd come dangerous close to calling the whole thing off when he learned they had to be fitted for stupidly fancy robes just for the occasion. Arra was equally unimpressed by that, but she put on a brave face.

"Mika, I think you should wear THIS." Said Kurda seriously. He held up a gaudy armoured breastplate that looked at least 800 years old. It even had a moth-eaten purple cape attached. Mika regraded it thoughtfully.

"You know what, that's not bad. Paris, can we go with this instead of the robe that makes me look like a formal bat?"

Paris took clear offence to this. He looked down his nose at Mika and huffed resentfully.

"Mika Ver Leth, don't you dare speak poorly of our traditions. Better vampires than you have been mated in the very same robes!"

"Literally or figuratively?" Kurda laughed before Paris shot him a silencing glare. "I mean... sorry, Sire Skyle. Look, I found this little box of ornamental spear heads! Perhaps we could find a use for them."

"But actually Paris, I would legitimately like to know if a bunch of old Princes have also mated in those exact robes over the past thousand years, or other robes that just happen to look the same." Mika added in a would-be-casual way. Paris determinedly ignored him, he was rummaging through Kurda's spearheads.

"At least the robe is black." Kurda offered in an effort to placate Mika. "Imagine if it was orange or something. You'd probably shrivel up and die."

"Then I just wouldn't get married. I mean mated! Fuck." Mika grunted obstinately as he examined a rusty old broadsword.

"I must be getting on my way!" Said Paris after investigating the spearheads Kurda found. "I need to see how much progress Seba has made on his construction of the arch."

Mika flinched.

"The WHAT?! Paris, where are you going? What arch? Get back here!" Mika protested. But he was stuck between a stack of crates and the wall so Paris had swept out of the room before Mika could catch up with him. He whipped around to look at Kurda, who was snickering to himself. "WHAT ARCH?!"

"I told Paris he should discuss the arch with you before having it built." Kurda chuckled. "But you can't blame him for being excited!"

"Watch me." Mika huffed, crossing his arms unimpressedly.

"Come on." Kurda replied with a grin. "Imagine if Gracie gets married someday - wouldn't you be just as excited as Paris is for you?"

"Probably more." Mika admitted ruefully. "I remember how much Paris enjoyed Arrow's wedding. He was insufferable."

Kurda laughed in amusement at the though of it.

"I didn't know Paris went to Arrow's wedding!"

"Oh gods, yeah. Paris, Vancha, Vanez, Arra and I all went. It was a great time. Of course, Sarah's family wasn't in on the whole vampire thing so we introduced ourselves as Arrow's family. Me as his brother, Paris as our father, Vancha and Vanez as cousins, and Arra was my date."

"Cute." Kurda chuckled softly.

"I guess. She was my second-best friend at the time besides Arrow, and I couldn't exactly bring him as my plus-one to his own wedding." Mika smirked at the memory. "Anyway, you should have heard Paris's speech. The entire place was in tears. He had to change a few details to make it sound like we had normal human lives, but it was really something. Oh gods, I hope he doesn't try to outdo himself at mine. This is already getting out of hand."

"Don't be so aloof." Kurda scolded him gently with an impish smile. "We already know it's all just an excuse to throw a big party. Just go with it and enjoy the attention."

"Kurda, I don't like attention."

"Right. Okay. Now you're just blatantly lying."

"Fine. I don't like this specific type of attention."

"Well, try to enjoy it anyway."

"I wish Grace could be here." Mika sighed.

"Me too." Kurda agreed. "But we're making the right decision not to take her out of school just for this. I think it would just confuse her. She already loves Arra and is used to having her around, it's not like much will change in her life. She'll be seeing more of her but that's not a bad thing."

"Yeah..." Mika mumbled with a faraway look in his eyes.

"Hey." Said Kurda with an encouraging smile. "Want to try it on?" He held up the gloriously tacky breastplate/cape combination. That was enough to elicit a reluctant grin from the dark Prince.

"Wow, I don't think I've ever felt this distinguished in my life." He declared once he'd wrestled the thing over his head with a bit of help from Kurda.

"You look like a 16th century knight!" Kurda cackled. It was true.

"I'm sure that's exactly who wore this last." Said Mika with amusement as he checked himself out.

"Oh noblest Sire Ver Leth, do you indeed accept Lady Arra Sails' hand in holiest of matrimony?" Said Kurda with a mock-formal old-fashioned accent to his voice.

"Quite indubitably, my good sir!" Mika replied in a similar voice as he flipped the cape dramatically. Kurda was relieved to see he was still able to make a joke with how irritable the preparations were making him. Joking didn't come easily to Mika at the best of times. Some assumed he didn't have a sense of humour but those who knew him knew that wasn't true. His humour was just extremely dry, almost always drenched in sarcasm, and clever as hell. He didn't go around putting on fake goofy accents unless Grace was his audience. And even then it was rare. But at this small moment in time, in a dusty storage room in some forgotten corner of Vampire Mountain, he was happy. And that meant for now, Kurda was too.

***

When did we both get so afraid to speak though  
I thought we got each other's hearts  
So I pushed you away through  
Hurting myself to live with it

I don't know how we could ever let this transpire  
You know I thought this love would always burn like a wildfire

***

Of course, the home stretch leading up to the big day weren't exactly easy or fun for Kurda but he'd gotten lots of practice pretending everything was fine. He'd become quite good at it. Besides, it really was nice being back in the mountain, having people to talk to besides Cyrus. Cyrus was also enjoying himself. He'd been spending a lot of time in the gaming halls training with cubs his own age and Kurda got a thrill every time he saw progress being made. He hadn't felt such joy since watching Grace's soccer game last fall.

He also couldn't help but glean some slightly sadistic entertainment from watching Mika attempt to plan a wedding. Or more accurately, have a wedding planned for him. And yes, the phrase "mating" had been all but thrown out the window by that point thanks to Arrow's persistence. The more he insisted, the more Kurda had to agree he had a point. It was kind of an icky word.

Paris's enthusiasm had spread insidiously to Seba who had taken on the momentous task of preparing the entire mountain as though the Festival of the Undead was coming to town (which it wasn't for another half-decade yet). The two old vampires would pop up behind Mika everywhere he went, posing quandaries such as:

"Do you want pine or spruce boughs as accent pieces?"

"Round tables or long?"

"Do you want to use the silver candle holders, or the brass?"

"Have you picked the music yet? The band has arrived at the mountain but they need time to rehearse."

And all that was just one such rapid-fire instance.

"Don't know, don't care, ask Arra, and I had no idea we had a band so again, ask Arra." Mika grunted dispassionately, just trying to finish his breakfast.

"We have already asked General Sails for her input." Said Seba impatiently.

"So what the hell are you bothering me for?" Mika groaned.

"She was preoccupied with training the cubs. She told us to ask you." Paris replied with a glint in his old blue eyes.

Mika heaved an unnecessarily loud dramatic sigh and rubbed his temples in frustration.

"Use spruce. It smells better and there's less sap." Kurda suggsted lightly from across the table.

"And stick with the long tables for the feast." Arrow added. "Easier for guests to socialize, and no need for a seating arrangement."

"Brass candle-holders." Kurda continued. "A warm colour tone will blend in with the room nicer than silver would."

"And choose a classic slow song to dance to. If it's too fast you'll panic and step on her feet." Said Arrow triumphantly. "Boom. Done. That was easy. What's next on the list, Paris?"

Mika had folded his arms on the table and buried his face in them by this point. But he raised his head just enough to glare at them through narrowed eyes.

"Don't give us that. We're doing you a favour here." Kurda told him earnestly.

"He needs to write his vows. That's what's next." Paris declared pointedly.

"I'm getting to it!" Mika huffed with notable exasperation. "How much free time do you think I have?"

"ONE WEEK!" Seba and Paris yelped simultaneously. Arrow broke down laughing and Kurda couldn't help but follow suit. Yes, the situation absolutely sucked. But it was also hilarious in some twisted way.

"You haven't written your vows yet?" Arrow cackled.

"I have plenty of time! It'll be fine!"

"An interesting take from the man who started writing his investiture speech before he was even nominated." Arrow commented in a would-be-casual manner as his eyes glinted mischievously.

"I knew I was GOING to be nominated before I started writing it!" Mika snapped back defensively. Kurda forced himself to stifle a second, louder round of laughter.

Seba slapped the table and hooted in laughter while Paris rolled his eyes - not something he did often.

"Even Arra has her vows finished!" Paris scolded, appearing equally agitated. "She is just as busy as you are, Mika. Get it done."

"Why does it have to be a whole speech?" Mika protested indignantly. "None of this is necessary! Not the speeches, not the guest list, not the damn candle holders -"

"You are a Vampire Prince and it's your job to unite the clan!" Paris snapped back.

"Throwing a wedding for their entertainment is NOT in the job description!" Mika argued, voice growing steadily louder. "Seeing as I wrote the 20th century updated version myself, I think I'd know that!"

"FINE!" Paris roared back, slamming his ancient gnarled fists down on the table. "Then YOU can go to the dozens of guests that came here for you, and YOU can tell them to turn around and go home because you'd rather get married in a broom closet with only the spiders as witnesses!"

Mika's jaw clenched rapidly, he was clearly having a strong internal debate of how much further he should take this. The two Princes - the youngest and the oldest - stared daggers across the table at each other for a few moments. Paris and Mika rarely butted heads but the past few weeks had been tense. Mika was a headstrong to a fault, always the one to have the final word. But for him to go at Paris was all but unheard of. Kurda, Arrow, and Seba exchanged covert looks of nervous amusement and a fair amount of concern. But it seemed clear they had reached an impasse. Paris was leaning heavily on the table staring down at Mika. Mika remained seated. Leaned back, arms crossed, glaring back at Paris with pure defiance.

"Come, my friend." Said Seba at last, slipping his arm around Paris's shoulders. "Perhaps you can help me pick out a pair of dress robes for the occasion? Let us give Mika his space. I am quite sure he has everything under control as usual."

Paris muttered something under his breath, shot one last glare at Mika, and allowed Seba to lead him out of the room.

"I love him, I love him so much but I swear I'm going to throw him into the river before this is over." Mika whined, almost petulantly, burying his head back into his arms. His forehead made an audible "thunk" against the table. "Why does this have to be so... much?! Every other vampire can get it over with in about ten minutes. I don't need him to throw me an entire festival."

"Alright, since you asked..." Said Arrow in a manner so sharp Kurda made sure to sit up and pay attention. "First of all, you're a Prince. This over-the-top shit comes with the territory. But you already know that, and I know for a fact you LIVE to be the centre of attention so I'm not sure why you've chosen now to want anything less than the event of the century." Said Arrow with more decisive eloquence than Kurda realized he was capable of. It was rather impressive.

"Second of all. For the smartest vampire I know, you're being extremely nearsighted about this." Arrow continued frankly. "Why do you think all this is so important to Paris?"

Mika stared blankly back at him, head tilted and brows furrowed.

"That wasn't a rhetorical question. I actually want to know what you think." Arrow pressed determinedly.

"Since when you you use words like rhetorical?" Mika muttered reproachfully.

"Since Kurda taught me what it meant last year when you were away." Arrow replied swiftly. Kurda smirked. It was true.

"Gods, I don't know, Arrow!" Mika exhaled in frustration. "He just wants an excuse to throw a big party to boost clan morale or something."

"No, you idiot!" Arrow groaned with equal exasperation, banging his fists on the table. "He's trying to give you what he couldn't have for himself!"

"Oh, shit!" Kurda blurted out as the truth of Arrow's words hit home. Everything made perfect sense now.

"See? Even he gets it." Said Arrow, looking pointedly from Kurda to Mika, who clearly hadn't yet arrived on the same page. It was very surreal to see Mika sitting there like a fish out of water trying to piece it all together in his mind while Arrow waited impatiently. This wasn't the way things usually worked around here.

Mika slowly shook his head at Arrow, baffled. Arrow heaved a long-suffering sigh. It was a perfect imitation of the very one Mika did at least ten times a day.

"Paris and Seba." Said Arrow at last, with the air of someone trying to explain basic math to small children. "They didn't get their turn at all this. They should have, but the world was different back then. People were cruel, rules were stricter, and they put their loyalty to the clan first. They never had a chance to be happy together. Now all Paris wants is to give you the only thing he ever wanted for himself but couldn't have. And you're being a downright prick about it."

Mika flinched as though he'd been kicked in the stomach. For a moment his face was unreadable as he processed Arrow's declaration. Then it fell entirely and he looked heartbroken.

"I didn't know." Mika murmured sadly. "Did he say something to you?!"

"Of course not. I can just tell by watching them together. I've heard a few old rumours, but just about everyone who knew them back then is dead now. And you and I were still centuries away from being born." Arrow shrugged. "I've figured for years there was something between them but all this wedding stuff has brought it back to the surface."

"How did I not know?!" Mika winced, now sounding legitimately distressed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Don't beat yourself up." Said Arrow gently. "You've had a lot going on. And it wasn't my secret to tell. But I thought you should know before you shoot down any more of his ideas. I know you don't care about tree branches or candlesticks... but he does. And he cares about you, so let him have this. It's just one day."

When Arrow finished speaking, he rewarded himself with a long swing of ale. Mika buried his face in his arms once again. He looked so despondent Kurda couldn't help but reach over the table to place his hand on Mika's forearm. The three of them sat in silence for several more minutes. Kurda was the first to speak:

"Shall we go outside to gather some spruce branches?"

***

So now you show up when you're alone again  
But we haven't changed, but now you're interested  
And maybe you're here because you wanna come home  
But what if you're just afraid to be alone

I guess I don't know how  
You'd want it back now  
I thought you got yourself a way out  
How do I prove it to myself you're ready now  
God I want to

Now you want me  
But what if your heart's a liar  
Cause if you change your mind again  
I'll burn like a wildfire  
Like a wildfire, like a wildfire, like a wildfire, like a wildfire

***

In the final days leading up to Mika's wedding, Arrow spent more than his fair share in the Hall of Princes guarding the Stone of Blood. But he didn't mind, since Arrow's revelation about Paris and Seba, Mika had softened considerably about the entire thing and it was evident he'd asked Arra to do the same. Neither of them were overly enthusiastic about the amount of pomp and formality involved, but they were grinning and bearing it for Paris's sake. Arrow didn't envy them. He'd already had a wedding of his own and it had been perfect, so he was content to recline on his throne and watch people come and go hurriedly. Arrow had stuck by his unilateral decision to call the event "the wedding" rather than "the mating ceremony". Perhaps it was because he was one of the few vampires to have an actual wedding, but "mating ceremony" just sounded strange to him. Eventually Mika and Arra stopped correcting him and accepted it.

Because the "wedding" was to take place in the Hall of Princes, his daily entertainment became watching the room slowly transform. On this particular day, he was hanging tapestries along the walls with Kurda's assistance.

"I never thought I'd see the day when Mika settled down with someone." Arrow chuckled contentedly as he passed Kurda a rolled-up tapestry. Kurda was up on the ladder, nailing them into the wooden braces and making sure they were all hung straight.

"Neither did I." Kurda replied honestly.

"He's been married to his job since before he had his job. He's always been a bit manic that way." Said Arrow fondly. "I'm happy for him."

"Would you mind passing me another nail? I'm all out." Kurda requested, lightly sidestepping Arrow's comment. The tattooed Prince obliged and Kurda went back to hammering it into the wooden brace, a little more aggressively than before.

"I just wish he'd sit back and let himself enjoy the moment." Arrow rambled on. "He's always so tense but lately he's been a downright pill. At least now he knows to slap on a smile when Paris is around, but still. This is supposed to be a happy time. I just don't want him to look back and regret not being more present. I keep telling him no one will take him less seriously if they witness him experiencing joy. But he doesn't seem to believe me."

(If you told Kurda 15 years ago that someday he'd be standing alone in this hall with none other than Arrow, listening to him rant about his beloved best friend Mika, Kurda would've laughed himself stupid at the notion).

"It's a little astonishing how someone so cunning can be so dense." Kurda agreed. He began digging around in his brain for a change of subject but then Arrow beat him to it. Although possibly not for the better.

"Hey, what about you?" Arrow asked abruptly. "Been seeing anyone lately?"

"I was sort of seeing... someone. At one point." Kurda responded drily, glad he was looking up at the wall and not at Arrow.

"Really? I didn't know that. Good on you!" Arrow grinned. "You inviting them to the wedding?"

Oh for fuck's sake, Arrow.

"I WAS seeing someone." Kurda replied, emphasizing the past tense. "Not anymore."

"Well, what happened?"

I told you all of it in explicit detail last year when I got drunk and had a meltdown on the floor but you were blackout wasted so you don't remember, thought Kurda.

"I won't bore you with details but suffice it to say it was a very complex situation. A lot of layers to it. And ultimately we agreed it was better for everyone if we stayed friends." He said instead.

"Who was it?"

"We went through a lot together. But it took us a long time to figure out that somewhere in all that, we'd fallen for each other." Kurda mused, completely ignoring Arrow's question. "But it wasn't meant to be, so I've made peace with it."

"Sorry to hear that, Kurda." Said Arrow gently. "I hope you both find someone better."

"They already have. They'll be just fine. I'm happy for them." Kurda replied in a tone that was quite easygoing, but not without a hint of bitterness beneath the surface. But Arrow's mental gears were spinning and Kurda realized he may have gone too far.

"Wait, in the past 10 years you've lived almost exclusively in Vampire Mountain. I see you practically every single day. How did I not notice you were seeing someone? Who was it?"

"No one you'd know." Kurda shrugged.

"I know everyone." Arrow replied with a frown. "Tell me!"

"It was someone I met while I was travelling a few months ago. It's over now." Kurda lied breezily. "I have to get going, can you manage the last few tapestries? Make sure you get the spacing right or Paris will rip your eyes out."

"Alright, then..." said Arrow bemusedly as he watched the blond General stride briskly away.

That left Arrow with more questions than answers. How the hell did he find time to fall for someone that hard when practically every waking moment was either spent working, or raising Gracie? Kurda hadn't been out of the mountain long enough to get caught up in anything as complicated as he implied. It just didn't make sense. The only person he spent a significant amount of time with the past few years had been Mika.

Mika... the same Mika who had asked Arrow all those questions out of nowhere just days before he proposed to Arra. There had been one question that stuck out in Arrow's mind in particular. Mika wanted to know what he would have done if Sarah hadn't felt the same way about him.

Arrow assumed he was asking so he could prepare himself in case Arra shut him down. It only made sense. What had Arrow told him, again? Something about moving on with life and respecting the person's wishes.

It hit Arrow with the force of a nuclear bomb and suddenly everything made sense. He felt blood rushing into his face as adrenaline surged through his veins triumphantly. He'd cracked it. The whole time when Arrow thought he was seeking validation about his feelings for Arra, he was really struggling to find closure from whatever the hell happened with Kurda.

Arrow couldn't believe it. He'd completed a puzzle he didn't know existed til just now. And holy shit, the big picture was so obvious now that all the pieces were assembled! How did I not realize sooner?! He berated himself while squeezing the unyielding arm rests of his throne. It was taking all of his mental fortitude to remain seated and not to go sprinting off to shout it from the top of the mountain. He was cradling a bombshell in his hands. For once in his life he needed to stop and think this through.

He needed to stop this wedding.

***

From wedding bells to private hells  
To fresh new starts and wish-you-wells  
From up in lights to up in smoke  
We just can't let this go

Maybe this time it could work  
If our need is dire  
Maybe our future's so bright it fucking burns like a wildfire  
Like a wildfire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Arrow. My sweet, sweet angel. It's all up to you now.
> 
> If you're still along for the ride, please drop a review :) it would make my brain do the happy chemical. Love you guys! Thanks for loving Mika and Kurda (and my darling baby Arrow) as much as I do.
> 
> ALSO, PARIS/SEBA WAS CONFIRMED CANON BY DS AT ONE POINT. Never forget.
> 
> \- Roxy


	11. My Finest Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Standing there like a fool  
> When I should've been running, Yelling out something  
> To make you wanna hold onto, The best love ever  
> Can you tell me, The one thing you'd rather die than lose?  
> Cause mine would be you"
> 
> ***
> 
> Mika VS. His Emotions: The Ultimate Smackdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, I am here with your latest helping of emotions. 
> 
> Chapter 11: My Finest Hour
> 
> Song: Mine Would Be You by Blake Shelton (yes sorry I used a yee yee country song, fight me)

What's your all time high, your good as it gets  
Your hands down best ever make-up sex  
What's your guilty pleasure, your old go to?  
Well if you ask me, mine would be you

What's your worst hangover, your best night yet?  
Your 90 proof, your Marlboro Red?  
The best damn thing you lucked into  
That's easy girl, mine would be you

Mine would be you  
Sun keeps shining, back road flying  
Singing like crazy fools  
Making up our own words  
Laughing 'til it hurts  
Baby, if I had to choose  
My best day ever  
My finest hour, my wildest dream come true  
Mine would be you

***

Between the round-the-clock wedding preparations Mika was dealing with on top of his already daunting schedule, and Kurda's involvement in Cyrus's training, the two of them had barely spent any time alone together since Kurda's return to the mountain. But that arrangement was fine by both of them. As fine as the rest of this situation was, anyway. Both of them were separately grateful for the ample distractions that had been presenting themselves.

Two days from the big show, Kurda realized he had no idea what he was going to wear to the damn thing. He owned exactly two formal cloaks. One was so outdated and moth-eaten it was painful to look at. And the other had a vomit stain on the front. He'd worn it to Vancha's investiture years ago and Grace had thrown up on him. He'd washed it to within an inch of its life but there didn't seem to be any salvaging it. And nothing else he owned was nearly fancy enough for the kind of celebration Paris was planning for.

Well, shit. He thought. There was no time to leave the mountain and go buy something new. He'd have to borrow something. Who could he ask? He ran though the options in his mind.

Cyrus? Nah. The kid didn't even own any nice robes himself. But he was a still a relative nobody in Vampire Mountain so no one would would pay any mind to what he was wearing. Kurda on the other hand would be sitting up front with the Generals, so it mattered.

Arrow? Not a chance. Anything he owned would fit Kurda like a tent.

Larten? He had a penchant for nice clothing but he was rather monochromatic and Kurda had never liked himself in red.

Vanez? Nope. He owned exactly one set of formal robes and he'd need it himself.

He realized there was only one realistic option. Oh, the irony was cruel. Mika's wardrobe was even less diversified than Larten's but at least black was more sublet than red. So late one night Kurda reached out:

KS: I need to borrow an outfit.

He knew Mika was way on the other end of the mountain but he could feel him smirk through their mental link.

MVL: You need to borrow a what?

KS: Regrettably I've come to the realization that nothing I own will suit the grandeur of the upcoming event. I'd hate to miss out on the feast.

MVL: Fine, you can borrow my clothes. But only if you paint my nails for me.

KS: Gods, I forgot. You're also a comedian! Nevermind. Forget I asked.

MVL: I'm almost done with the cubs for the day. Go to my cell and I'll meet you there in a minute.

KS: Thanks.

Kurda had incredibly mixed feelings about stepping through that door but he forced himself to suck it up. He sat down at Mika's mahogany desk and within five minutes he arrived. The dark Prince crossed his arms and leaned casually against the wall to regard Kurda with an expression of exasperation intermingled with amusement. Kurda hadn't seen much of him this past week but now that he was able to get a close look, the first thing that stuck out to him was how tired Mika appeared. He was smiling, though. In the sly, impish way he reserved only for Kurda.

"How many times have you called us cave-dwelling barbarians over the years? Yet you've somehow found your sophisticated self with nothing to wear, you come to me. I trust you're smart enough to find the irony here." Mika mused.

"To be fair, I was mainly referring to Arrow and Vancha when I said that." Kurda replied drily. "I mean, don't get me wrong. You're very much a barbarian but you're also a complete snob."

Mika placed his hand on his chest in mock offense.

"Ouch. You're breaking my heart."

Kurda couldn't help it. He laughed just a little too sharply at that. Mika gave him a funny look and he quickly moved on.

"Oh, don't look at me like that. Everyone knows you like nice things." said Kurda with as much causality as he could muster.

"Yes, I do. And I make no apologies for it. You're just lucky I know how to share."

"I don't have to borrow something. But if I show up to your wedding wearing the Puke Robe, that's on you." Kurda remarked with an indifferent shrug.

Mika grimaced.

"Was that the one where-"

"Grace threw up on me at Vancha's investiture. Yeah."

"To be fair, that was a really long ceremony."

"Anyway. You're the only person inside this rock who's even slightly close to my size that happens to own more than one piece of vaguely formal attire." Kurda pressed on, eager to get this over with.

Mika looked him up and down critically with a faintly familiar gleam in his eye.

"There is no way we wear the same size."

"I can't exactly afford to be picky here." Said Kurda impatiently. "If you're planning on being difficult, let me know and I'll move down the list and ask someone else."

"Alright then General Smahlt, let's get you dressed up."

Mika made his way over to the mahogany dresser, slid the deep drawers open, and began to rummage.

"You really don't own anything that isn't black, do you?" Kurda commented incredulously as he observed the contents of the drawer from over Mika's shoulder.

"Actually I have a secret collection of tie-dye, and when everyone's asleep I put it on and run around the mountain." Mika retorted without turning around.

"Gods, I wish that were true." Kurda laughed despite himself. "Also, what's with all the black? It's never actually occurred to me to ask."

Mika turned halfway around to survey Kurda quizzically, as though it was the dumbest question he'd ever been asked.

"I just... like it? It's easy. Everything always matches. Saves me time for more important things." He answered bemusedly.

"Really? I always assumed you had a major unresolved trauma early in life that impacted you so deeply it permeated into your wardrobe choices." Kurda answered lightly, smiling despite himself.

"Unfortunately there's no thrilling backstory there. Sorry to disappoint you. But I've been told it makes me look intimidating. Which, believe it or not, was never the intention but it's a hell of a bonus." Mika shrugged. "Try this on."

He tossed Kurda a bundle of black fabric.

"It's black, alright." Said Kurda resignedly as he held it up and inspected it. It was nice though, the material seemed both comfortable and breathable.

"Try it on before you go." Mika suggested, taking the seat at his desk that Kurda had just vacated. "If it's too big I think I have another one that's a little smaller."

"Sounds good." Said Kurda. He paused for a moment and frowned. "Are you going to turn around or cover your eyes or something?" He added with a raised eyebrow as Mika blinked back at him obliviously.

"What? Oh. Yeah, I guess. Sorry. Old habits."

Kurda exhaled the faintest breath of laughter. Mika swivelled around in his chair so his back was facing him. He quickly slipped off his robes and into Mika's.

"Alright, I'm decent again." Kurda announced, stepping in front of the floor-length mirror which was framed in the same mahogany wood as the desk and coffin. (Gods, Mika really is a snob). It was a little surreal seeing himself in such a dark ensemble, Kurda hardly recognized the man staring back at him. Not to mention it had been a long time since he'd really scrutinized himself in front of a mirror. His hair was longer than it had been in a while, the pin-straight platinum locks were past his shoulders. His eyes looked different too - there was a hardened edge to them that hadn't always been there. Maybe it was an illusion brought on by the sharp contrast of his light features against the abnormally dark outfit, or maybe it was the fact that he felt like he'd aged a century over the past few years. Either way, nothing about this felt right.

Mika ambled over to examine the situation. For a minute he didn't say anything. Just stood there shoulder-to-shoulder with Kurda and took it all in.

"I look ridiculous." Kurda said flatly. "Thanks, Mika. But I can't wear this."

"I've never seen you in black. I think you look good in black." Said Mika softly. The abrupt absence of sarcasm was a dead giveaway that he meant exactly what he said. Kurda refused to allow himself to meet Mika's eyes. He knew if he did it would break his heart all over again.

"Too dark." Kurda muttered brusquely. "I look like I'm trying to be something I'm not."

"And what's that?" Mika inquired, tilting his head curiously.

"You." Kurda snorted. "I look like I'm trying to be you. Except instead of channeling your overall aesthetic, which is all moody and mysterious and 'fuck you I'm Mika Ver Leth'... I just look like a sad idiot going to the world's fanciest funeral."

Mika pressed his lips together firmly but Kurda could see the laughter in his eyes.

"Kurda... what does that even mean? Are you serious? Come on, it's not that deep."

"I can't wear your clothes to your wedding, Mika." Kurda sighed resignedly. "I'm sorry I asked."

"Have it your way, then." Said Mika unconcernedly, his eyes on Kurda who was still focusing determinedly on his own reflection in the mirror. "But just for the record, you couldn't be me if you tried."

Kurda couldn't resist. His head snapped to the right so he could raise his eyebrows at Mika.

"Is that so?"

Mika heaved a long sigh and leaned back in his chair, fixing Kurda with a steady, brooding gaze. There was a faint ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

"Not a chance. You're nothing like me. The way you float around this place like you're weightless. How smile through everything like you've never had a bad day in your life. How kindness is your default setting. That you're constantly such a fucking optimist, sometimes to the point where sometimes I want to throw you in the river but mostly because I just don't understand how you do it and I wish I could."

He was still gazing up at Kurda, but his smile had faded and now he just looked weary. Kurda held his gaze, eyes slightly narrowed, listening carefully.

"The way you make no apologies for being exactly who you are. You've taken all the shit this clan has thrown at you over the years and turned it into your own kind of strength. The kind that most of them don't have the mental capacity to understand."

Mika's voice had dropped in volume so much that Kurda could barely hear him.

"The way you're stronger than me, smarter than me, tougher than me. You're better than I could ever hope to be. So don't worry, Kurda. It doesn't matter that you wear. No one's going to think you're anything like me."

Mika's voice broke as he spoke Kurda's name and Kurda didn't know whether he should kiss Mika or find a blunt heavy object to throw at his head. The old glass jar of pencils on the desk would do nicely. But he compromised by doing neither. Instead he looked away, blinking furiously and rummaged aimlessly in the roomy pockets of the luxurious black robes.

"Fine. You win. I'll wear it." Kurda spoke up at last, forcing his voice to remain steady despite its best intentions.

"Good choice." Said Mika softly. He'd turned back around, away from Kurda, resting his elbows on his desk and his face in his hands. Kurda changed swiftly back into his own clothes and folded the borrowed outfit under his arm.

"Thanks again." Said Kurda as he headed for the doorway.

"Don't mention it." Mika turned back around and for the first time during this particular encounter, there was something that resembled legitimate eye contact. Kurda paused in the doorframe.

"You haven't been sleeping, have you?" he inquired. He didn't mean to say it. It just slipped out. He could just always tell when Mika's insomnia was flaring up.

"You know I don't have time for that." Mika laughed humourlessly. "Maybe next year."

"Well, you should aim for your usual four hours at the very least. Gods only know how you function on that amount but it seems to have worked for you so far." Kurda answered critically, tilting his head as he studied Mika's face. The Prince really was paler than usual and even while he was amused by Kurda's comments, his eyes were missing the steely glint that Kurda had come to know so well.

"You're okay, right?" Kurda prompted, even as every fibre of his being was telling him to get the hell out of this room and let it go. But the despondent man in front of him was such a stark contrast from the headstrong, dauntless one he'd come to know. Kurda longed to to wrap his arms around him and hold on tight. But it just didn't work like that.

"I'm just tired, Kurda." Mika finally answered in a voice barely above a whisper. "I'm so tired."

Kurda sighed and leaned heavily against the doorframe.

"You should take tonight off." He suggested as firmly as he could, staring at the floor because he just couldn't bear to look at Mika any longer. "Just get some sleep. I know it's not that easy, but try."

"No time." Mika protested. "Need to meet with the General and his troop that just came in from Egypt. They have news of a fringe group of Vampan-"

Kurda held up his hand.

"Is it something Arrow can handle on his own?"

"Well, yeah but-"

"Then let Arrow handle it on his own."

"No, I need to be there myself. Arrow takes terrible notes." Mika argued.

"Gods, I forgot how stubborn you are. I'll go with Arrow and take notes myself. I know exactly how you like things recorded." Kurda insisted. "Just let me help you. We can call it even for this." He added, holding up the robe.

Mika closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, his body gently sagging in the chair. Kurda knew he'd won.

"I don't deserve you." Mika croaked, voice heavy in defeat. "I never did."

Kurda felt his eyes start to burn and his throat close. He quickly looked up at the ceiling, blinking furiously. The multitude of words he wanted to say were beating his throat like a battering ram.

"I'll see you later, Mika." He answered with finality before sweeping out of the room without a backwards glance. He was walking so quickly he was out of earshot before he could hear Mika let out a strangled cry of frustration as he flung his glass pencil jar into the wall, where it shattered into dust and shards.

***

What's your double dare, your go all in?  
The craziest thing you ever did?  
Plain as your name in this tattoo  
Look on my arm, mine would be you

Mine would be you  
Sun keeps shining, back road flying  
Singing like crazy fools  
Making up our own words  
Laughing 'til it hurts  
Baby, if I had to choose  
My best day ever  
My finest hour, my wildest dream come true  
Mine would be you

***

THE NEXT DAY:

Luckily, every soul in Vampire Mountain was so distracted that not a single one noticed when Arrow's enthusiasm for the upcoming ceremony dropped from 10 to 0 overnight. He tried his best to hide it but he'd never been a master of disguise when it came to emotions. His recent realization that something significant had occurred between Mika and Kurda has shaken him to his core. He'd resolved himself to the fact that he couldn't let Mika go through with this, at least not until Arrow had a chance to have a few words with him. But Mika was so damn tricky when it came to his emotions, Arrow knew he had to proceed with caution otherwise there'd be a complete shutdown and it would be a disaster for everyone involved.

In the wake of that revelation, Arrow had processed more emotions in one day than he usually did in a week. His train of thought loosely followed this order:

1 - Kurda has or had feelings for Mika? Oh gods.

2 - MIKA has or had feelings for KURDA? Oh gods.

3 - How did I not notice? Why did he hide it? Why didn't I see through him like I always do? But most importantly... why didn't he just tell me? Was it Kurda's Vampaneze dealings? He knows it's always bothered me. But he also knows Kurda and I are friends now. I don't understand. Or... was it because Kurda's a man? If that's the reason he hid it, then I've failed as a friend and I will never forgive myself. Oh gods.

4 - It doesn't matter. None of it matters. Because I'm going to fix it. Whatever it takes.

Arrow was alone in his cell, sitting at his desk when Mika reached out through their mental link. Arrow CAN mostly read and write but he doesn't particularly care to. So there's no good reason for him to have a desk, but all the Princes have one. So sometimes he sits at it and just thinks.

MVL: I'm done.

A: You're going to have to be more specific.

MVL: The vows. My vows. I wrote them.

A: Let's hear them, then. I'm in my cell.

Arrow will be the first one to admit he doesn't have the keenest eye for derail. He's more of a big-picture person. But he knows how to read people, and Mika just happens to be his Person. When it comes to his Person, not much gets past him. Except for a years-long affair-ish thing with Kurda Smahlt apparently. But Arrow didn't have time to dwell on the past. It was the future he was preoccupied with.

The first thing he noticed was the fact that Mika's left hand was messily bandaged with traces of blood still visible.

"What the hell have you done now?" Arrow inquired bluntly as Mika flopped down on the scruffy-but-cozy old couch that sat in the corner of the room. Arrow slowly stood up from his desk chair and relocated to aforementioned couch next to Mika.

"Accidentally knocked that glass jar off my desk while I was writing last night. Tried to clean it up, didn't go so well."

"Ah." Said Arrow, arching his eyebrows. "And here I thought you were just yelling and throwing things. I suppose I should clean my ears out."

Mika tensed.

"It startled me when it hit the floor. Sorry, I didn't realize I shouted. I was deep in thought at the time." He explained evasively.

Arrow let out a derisive snort, making it clear he wasn't buying it. He fixed Mika with a very severe look, trying to make sense of it all.

"Normally I wouldn't bat an eye over you chucking objects into walls, otherwise that would make me a hypocrite."

"Yes, it would." Mika replied coolly, shooting a death glare at Arrow. A sort of glare he normally reserved for keeping the masses in line.

"Alright, enough. I'm done dancing around the issue. You've been off for months. Ever since the night you asked me all those questions out of nowhere, just before you proposed to Arra. And don't you dare look at me like that. You know I always know when something's wrong." Said Arrow with a new sharpness to his tone.

"Here we go..." Mika groaned irritably, pressing his palm against his forehead in frustration and leaning back as though hoping to become one with the couch.

"Yes, here we go." Arrow snapped, just getting warmed up. "Mika, I've never had a secret from you. You've seen me at my worst, as bad as it gets. And you never flinched. Not once. You pulled me out of a place so dark I had no business coming back."

"Arrow, stop." Mika whispered. His voice had a raw edge to it that suggested he'd already been in a vulnerable place prior to this conversation. Arrow softened his tone but pressed on determinedly.

"Now you're barely a day away from getting... mated, married, whatever you want to call it. It's the same damn thing either way. You should be happy, gods know you deserve to be. Except now you're the one in the dark place and you won't let me in."

Arrow cautiously reached out and placed his hand on Mika's shoulder and felt a glimmer of hope when he didn't draw away. Mika remained staring obstinately across the room at the blank wall.

"You're my rock." Arrow continued, willing his voice not to crack. "You're all I have. There's nothing in this world you could do that would change that. Tell me you understand."

A heavy silence hung between them, like smoke from an approaching wildfire.

"Tell me." Arrow repeated. Gently but firmly.

"I understand!" Mika croaked out roughly. He slowly exhaled, then leaned over so that he could rest his head against Arrow's shoulder. He draped his arm around Mika's shoulders and held him for a moment. Arrow liked to hug, and to be hugged. Whereas Mika merely tolerated it if he felt obliged. That was one of the few differences between them. Either way, this was progress.

Mika knew it had been too long since he'd treated his body to a healthy amount of sleep but he truly didn't realize how tired he was until the moment he rested his head on Arrow and closed his eyes. When Kurda left his cell last night after strongly encouraging him to get some rest, Mika had wholeheartedly ignored that recommendation and had instead spent the next gods-knew-how-many hours hunched over his desk pouring the last of his energy into writing the words he was going to say to Arra at the front of the packed hall with hundreds of eyes upon him, in twenty-four short hours. Surely he should be feeling something more than this. Excitement, or panic even. But all he felt was numb exhaustion.

"I still want to hear those vows." Arrow reminded him gingerly after a while. The sudden sound jerked Mika back to reality, he'd come dangerous close to drifting off. He forced out a grim laugh.

"If you're sure." He slipped a hand into his pocket and withdrew a neatly folded piece of paper.

"I can see you put a lot of effort into those." Said Arrow as he glanced down at it. "There's a blood stain right there... and there. I can't see the sweat and tears but I can only assume those are in there as well."

Mika laughed again, despite himself.

"You have no idea."

"We'll see."

He held out the paper out, waiting for Arrow to take it but the tattooed Prince gently shook his head.

"I want to hear it from you. Besides, you know if can't read as well as you."

"You're really testing me today, you know that?" Mika sighed in exasperation. He felt a low chuckle vibrate through Arrow's body as leaned his shoulder snugly against Mika's and closed his eyes.

So Mika read, and Arrow listened. Listened to Mika break his own heart open and leave it all out on that crumpled and ironically bloodstained piece of paper. Listened to his best friend's voice crack as he fought valiantly to keep it together until he finally reached the end. Then it was over and the silence that followed was all-consuming. It was Arrow who finally pierced it.

"Mika, I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that Arra was the one on your mind when you wrote those words. If you can do that, I won't say another word about it."

Arrow then braced himself for a total breakdown right then and there, complete with ugly crying. Gods knew Mika was long overdue to square up with his innermost feelings and if it had to get a little messy then Arrow figured so be it. But evidently he was still clinging to a few fragments of composure.

Stubborn bastard, thought Arrow.

Mika turned to face Arrow with a strange expression of bemusement, incredulity, and something else... relief?

"You know, don't you?" Mika exhaled in disbelief. And there it was.

"Of course I fucking know!" Arrow exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. Finally, FINALLY they were on the same page. "Took me longer than it should have to figure it out. But to be fair, I wasn't exactly looking for signs because it was my understanding that we're supposed to tell each other about things like this."

"Sorry." Mika muttered with a regretful glance up. Arrow shook his head and gave Mika's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"You have nothing to apologize for." Arrow replied decisively. "But you do need to get your shit together."

"Still sorry. I wish I could explain it, Arrow. There was never meant to be anything to tell... You remember how I used to clash with him over every damn thing. I don't know how that turned into this."

"How could I forget?" Arrow chuckled. "And if I remember correctly, you picked most of those arguments yourself. Even when you hated him, you were drawn to him. I see it all now."

"Well, it took me about thirty years to figure that out and it's too late now."

"Always so perceptive of everything but yourself." Said Arrow with a sad smile. "He's in love with you too, you blind idiot."

"Don't say that." Mika groaned, running his hand anxiously through his hair. "Not now... not when I'm getting fucking married tomorrow, did you forget that?"

"I'm not going to tell you what to do." Arrow replied sombrely. "But I'd be failing you if I didn't tell you you're making a big mistake."

"It's too late, Arrow. Don't you understand?"

Mika abruptly stood up began to pace disconcertedly around Arrow's cell.

"What the hell are you afraid of? Inconveniencing your guests? I promise you they will get over it." Arrow commented as his eyes tracked Mika's erratic movements.

"I don't care about the guests!" Mika snapped, throwing his hands up. He appeared to be growing more agitated by the minute.

"Then what are you afraid of?" Arrow asked pointedly, his eyes narrowing. Mika laughed again, but it was a harsh unpleasant sound.

"Nothing, Arrow. Not a gods damned thing." Mika uttered through gritted teeth, still wandering aimlessly like a caged animal.

"He cares about you more than anyone except for Paris and I, and that's a fact. I'm just saying if there's a chance, you should take it. Don't hold yourself back from what could end up being what you've always wanted. So what if it took you this long to figure it out? You're here now. Let your damn guard down." Said Arrow, feeling a note of desperation creep into his voice despite his best intentions. Mika had stopped pacing, he was leaning heavily on Arrow's old wooden desk chair, staring downwards and breathing heavily.

"I can't."

"Why? What are you afraid of?!" Arrow persisted, ramping up the volume with every word.

"I don't know!

"Of getting hurt? Of the clan thinking less of you? Because of the Vampaneze connections or because he's a man? Letting Arra down? Letting Paris down? Which is it?"

"EVERYTHING!" Mika yelled at last. He whipped around so quickly Arrow flinched. "Fucking everything! There, I said it! Are you happy now?"

"Well, sort of. Was that so hard?" Asked Arrow gravely, returning his voice to normal volume.

"Yes." Mika grunted, sinking defeatedly back onto the couch next to Arrow.

"I only have two things left to say. Then the rest is up to you." Arrow sighed tiredly with a sidelong glance at Mika. "One: believe me when I tell you that I would take an axe to my throne and leave it all behind if it meant I could have more day with Sarah. I'd go through all of it again in a heartbeat. It was worth it. Love is always worth it. And second of all, you've never backed down from anything in all the years I've known you. You're Mika Fucking Ver Leth. You don't get out of the universe's way. The universe gets out of YOUR damn way. Not once in your entire life have you let fear keep you in check. So don't you dare start now." Arrow concluded fiercely. There was one lonely tear rolling down his cheek but his voice was steady.

They lapsed into another long silence. Arrow had run out of words. When Mika finally spoke, he sounded weary as though he'd aged a hundred years in the past hour. But as he finally turned to look at Arrow, Arrow could see that for the first time in months there was a trace of his old fire burning in his eyes.

"For a man who openly values brawn over brain, you're pretty fucking wise." Said Mika hoarsely, patting Arrow's shoulder. Arrow let out a tired laugh of relief.

"You're supposed to be the smart one here. But you dropped the ball pretty spectacularly in this case." Arrow teased affectionately.

"Thanks, Arrow. I truly could not function without you." Mika admitted quietly, in a way that was sarcastic-but-not.

"Don't mention it. But just to be clear, you know what you have to do now, right?"

"I know."

"Good. Because I have a plan."

***

What's the greatest chapter in your book?  
Are there pages where it hurts to look?  
What's the one regret you can't work through?  
You got it baby, mine would be you  
Yeah you got it baby, mine would be you

Mine would be you  
Taillights fading  
Daylight breaking  
Standing there like a fool  
When I should've been running  
Yellin' out something  
To make you wanna hold onto  
The best love ever  
Girl, can you tell me  
The one thing you'd rather die than lose?  
Cause mine would be you  
Mine would be you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so tricky to write. Oh my fucking Vampire Gods.
> 
> Okay guys, this chapter is a little extra dear to my heart. I won't tell you exactly which part but there's a line from Arrow's lecture that was copied word-for-word from a lengthy series of texts which I received from my best friend (the Arrow to my Mika, if you will) back when I was just an idiot in college who was as far in denial about my feelings as Mika's been lately. I still have those screenshots saved in my phone and I'm pretty grateful someone gave me that reality check to pull my head out of my ass. Because the guy she was scolding me about is still here almost 5 years later, sitting at the other end of the couch as I post this chapter. So, trust your friends, they know what's up. (Assuming they're good friends. If not, then idk what to tell you) That's all I'm saying here.
> 
> See you soon :) In the meantime feel free to check out my other current story, Home Is Wherever I'm With You. So far there's 3 separate flashbacks elaborating on past encounters between Mika and Arra, Mika and Arrow, and of course... Mika and Kurda.
> 
> Cheers, have a lovely weekend!
> 
> \- Roxy


	12. All At Once This Is Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is the end of all the endings?  
> My broken bones are mending"
> 
> ***
> 
> Mika's finally done drinking Idiot Juice. All there's left to do is tell Kurda how he really feels. Did I mention he was supposed to be marrying Arra today?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday, everyone! I seem to have gotten into a pattern of updating on Mondays.
> 
> Alright folks, this is my favourite chapter of Call It What You Want thus far. I hope you enjoy it even half as much as I do. But also, buckle up.
> 
> Chapter 12: Baby All At Once This Is Enough
> 
> Song: King Of My Heart by Taylor Swift

I'm perfectly fine, I live on my own  
I made up on my mind, I'm better off bein' alone  
We met a few weeks ago  
Now you try on callin' me, baby, like tryin' on clothes

So prove to me I'm your American Queen  
And you move to me like I'm a Motown beat  
And we rule the kingdom inside my room  
'Cause all the boys and their expensive cars  
With their Range Rovers and their Jaguars  
Never took me quite where you do

***

The second time Kurda looked in a mirror and saw himself in the somber black robe was no less jarring than the first. The only bright spot on the horizon was that in a few more hours, the wedding would be over and he could get the hell out of Vampire Mountain. It was as close to closure as he was going to get. All there was left to do now was just get through it.

He felt like his body was moving on autopilot as he slowly got himself ready to go. Like he was going through the motions and his mind was along for the ride. He carefully scraped the dirt from beneath his fingernails, then filed them down nicely. He washed his face. He was in the process of combing his hair when he heard a soft knock at the door. Had to be Cyrus.

"Come in." Kurda called distractedly as he worked away at a particularly stubborn tangle. His mirror was placed in a way that gave him a clear view of the door without having to turn around. But when the door swung open slowly it was not Cyrus that appeared over his shoulder. Kurda didn't know whether he should laugh or cry at this point.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Mika. Don't you have somewhere to be?!" Kurda groaned in aggravation.

"Good day to you too." Mika replied in a would-be-casual manner. "May I come in?"

"Are you going to come in regardless of my answer?" Kurda sighed in exasperation, not turning around.

"That was the plan." Mika affirmed. His tone was subdued, cautious even. As he drew closer, Kurda could see he looked just as tired as the previous day, if not more so. But something had changed. He was carrying himself differently. Almost triumphantly. Like the tension had simply vanished from his body. Mika slowly walked over to Kurda's desk as if he had all the time in the world and sat down in the chair. Kurda didn't know what to make of this. He was pretty good at reading Mika but this has him stumped. There was a weary, dazed sort of relaxation about him. But there was also a sharp focus in his eyes that Kurda hadn't seen in years.

"Seriously, there has to be SOMETHING more important you should be doing right now." Said Kurda brusquely. "Unless you're hiding from Paris."

"My day's wide open, actually." Mika replied evenly, his hand in the jar of cashews Kurda kept at his desk.

"Stop fooling around!" Kurda scolded him, finally turning around to face him properly. "You're getting married in a few hours! What the hell are you still doing in a t-shirt? Charna's Guts. You're going to give Paris a heart attack if you're late. Go change!"

"Kurda?" Said Mika, his voice so uncharacteristically soft that all Kurda wanted to do was throw the comb at his face.

"What?!" Kurda snapped back, feeling steam billowing out of his ears. How dare Mika come strolling in here as if nothing was wrong and Kurda wasn't secretly falling apart? How dare he sit in that chair and look at him like that? Staring at Kurda as though he'd never seen him before. The nerve.

"Stop yelling at me." Mika replied politely, maintaining whatever bizarre inner peace he seemed to be experiencing.

"I'll yell at you if I bloody well want to!" Kurda roared back, feeling the words sting his throat on their way out. Unlike Mika, he was fresh out of inner peace. "You're getting fucking married, Mika! TODAY! You have NO business strolling in here, to MY cell, sit at MY desk, eat MY gods damn cashews, and look at me like - oh, for the love of the gods, will you STOP fucking looking at me like that?! Who do you think you-"

"Kurda!" Mika interrupted, now sounding merely a fraction as impatient as Kurda felt as he raised his voice just enough to be heard. "I'm not getting married today, alright? There's no wedding."

And with that, Kurda physically felt the earth stop moving. As if whatever deity was in charge had suddenly halted it in its tracks with one tap of their big divine toe. In fact, it was more than just the earth. The entire universe had ground to a halt and sent Kurda reeling.

"Mika Ver Leth. WHAT in the ever-living FUCK do you mean there's no wedding?" Kurda forced out in a tone so sharp it could've cut diamonds. Admittedly, Kurda had developed a bit of a proclivity for cussing over the past decade. (He blames it on Mika, Arrow, and Vancha. But mostly Mika). Mika sighed and stood up from the chair to approach Kurda.

"I mean I cancelled it. All of it." Said Mika as he met Kurda's eyes poignantly. "It's all over."

"Why?!" Kurda yelped, a lot louder and higher than he'd intended. "Does Arra know?"

"No, I'll let her figure it out on her own." Mika snorted, rolling his eyes. "Of course she knows! I'm not a sociopath. I just had a long talk with her. Everything's going to be okay now."

"What the hell happened?" Kurda stuttered, growing more confused by the second. "Who calls off a wedding with three hours left?"

"Probably a lot of people. But that's not really what I'm focused on right now." Mika mused wryly.

"She decided she didn't want to put up with you after all, didn't she?" Kurda retorted crisply. Knee-jerk sarcasm was another side effect of prolonged exposure to Mika. It was Mika's first language and Kurda had inadvertently become just as fluent over time.

Mika heaved a long, deep sigh and fixed Kurda with a gaze that was oddly tranquil but contained a healthy amount of "Are-you-fucking-done-yet?"

"What?" Kurda snapped irritably. "Have you been eating Vancha's mushrooms? And STOP looking at me like that!"

"No, but only because I didn't know where he keeps them." Mika replied without batting an eye. Evidently he'd located the composure he'd misplaced recently. He reached into to his pocket and withdrew a crumpled piece of paper and held it out to Kurda. "Here, just read this, okay?"

"What is it?"

"The vows Paris has been harassing me about for the past fortnight. I finally wrote them."

Kurda shot him a skeptical glance but looked down at the paper anyway and began to read them silently in his head while Mika waited patiently.

Before you, I didn't know what love felt like. And honestly I didn't care to. Before you, I thought I'd achieved the best version of myself. But after you, I know now I hadn't even scratched the surface. I always considered clan to be the great love of my life. The most fulfilling relationship I've ever had was with my throne. But then you found me. You changed everything about me, and you did it so effortlessly I didn't know it was happening. I woke up one day and realized I was hopelessly, ridiculously in love with you. So today, I stand before you in the presence of our guests, the Stone of Blood, and the Vampire Gods: I, Mika Ver Leth, vow to spend the rest of my life making up for every second I wasted without you. I vow to stay by your side for better or worse. I vow to fight for you and beside you, to support your goals and ambitions unconditionally. I vow to do whatever it takes to be everything you deserve. And I vow to love you until my dying breath.

When Kurda finally reached the bottom of the page, his throat was stinging painfully and his lungs felt like they were on the verge of collapsing.

"Mika, you need to tell me what's going on! How could you possibly call it all off at the last minute? You love her. It's so obvious." Kurda croaked, holding up the paper emphatically and looking back up at Mika who was watching him with something that looked vaguely like concern.

"Yes, technically speaking I do love Arra. I also love Arrow. And I love Paris. I love Gracie. But Kurda Smahlt, I'm IN love with you. It's actually a pretty significant difference. I should have figured it out sooner, but as I was writing those words... all I could see was you. Then I finally knew what I had to do... and this is me doing it." Mika finished softly. He tilted his head and regarded Kurda studiously, waiting for a reaction.

That moment was the closest thing to an out-of-body experience Kurda ever encountered. Suddenly he felt incredibly light headed and the edges of his vision began to blur. He had to blink in order to keep himself somewhat grounded. He didn't know how long he stood there, lips moving soundlessly as he tried to find suitable words.

'Of course I love you. I love you more than you'll ever know. And I've loved you for longer than I care to admit.' Was what Kurda TRIED to say.

"I need you to understand how much I want to strangle you right now." Was what he ACTUALLY said, with as much spite as he could manage considering his throat was constricting rapidly.

"And I respect that." Said Mika with a grimace. "I was an idiot, Kurda. Gods I've been such a fucking idiot. I know that's not news to you. I've been afraid of my feelings for as long as I can remember. And you've suffered for it. I don't know if I was in denial or just plain ignorant. If you want nothing more to do with me, I understand. But I just thought I should let you know I'm hopelessly, ridiculously, completely in love with you. It's always been you. You can do whatever you want with that information."

Kurda was aware that his face was twitching but he couldn't control it, nor did he particularly care to. He just stood there for what felt like an hour, staring slack-jawed back at Mika who was gazing back at him with a combination of hope, guilt, concern, and adoration. Kurda could say he was one of the few vampires in the clan who'd had the rare privilege of witnessing Mika Ver Leth in anything that vaguely resembled a vulnerable state but this was still so different than anything he'd ever seen. Because Mika had never, ever looked at anyone the way he was looking at Kurda right now. And Kurda STILL didn't know whether he should be laughing or crying, so he compromised and did both.

"So... what I'm getting from this is that you need a bit of time." Mika offered with an apprehensive smile. "Well, take as much as you need because I'm not going anywh-"

"Oh, just shut up!" Kurda laugh-sobbed as he abruptly grabbed Mika's face in his hands and pulled him in for a rough, deep kiss. Instantly he felt Mika's body relax and lean longingly into him as his powerful, scarred hands traced gentle circles up and down Kurda's back. Kurda pulled his lips back from Mika's just long enough to choke out,

"And I love you, Mika Ver Leth."

At this point in their lives, Kurda had seen Mika in every possible state of existing. Grumpy, content, hungry, sad, impatient, bored, grumpy again, focused, sassy... Kurda really thought he'd witnessed Mika's complete spectrum of emotions. But this, the look in his eyes as he pressed his forehead against Kurda's was something entirely new. Just pure, unfiltered happiness.

Out of habit Kurda eventually found his hands at Mika's waist, fumbling with his belt. It was second nature, he didn't even realize he was doing it until Mika gently grasped Kurda's wrists to halt the endeavour. Kurda looked up at him, eyebrows raised impatiently. Mika smiled back ruefully.

"I am truly sorry to tell you but that'll have to wait." He sighed with a disappointed half-smile.

"Mika." Kurda groaned begrudgingly. "What more could we possibly wait for?"

"This was only part of my plan." Mika admitted, kissing Kurda on the forehead. "Phase two is about to begin. Walk with me?"

"Where are we going?"

"To find Arrow. And uh, a couple other people. You'll see. Then I'm going to have a conversation with Paris."

***

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for  
King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa  
And all at once, you are all I want I'll never let you go  
King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

And all at once, I've been waiting, waiting  
Ooh whoa, ooh whoa  
And all at once, you are the one, I have been waiting, waiting  
Body and soul, ooh whoa  
And all at once

Late in the night, the city's asleep  
Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep  
Change my priorities  
The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury

***

"Mika Ver Leth, I cannot believe this! When did you become so selfish and irresponsible?! The amount of work we've put into this event, you have no idea! There are almost a hundred vampires here in this mountain who have travelled thousands of miles all for YOU! Boy, have you lost your mind?! Because I will help you find it!"

Mika stood silently and patiently let Paris's verbal onslaught wash over him. Honestly it was everything he could do not to smile because if he did, Paris might've just slapped him. Only one hour remained between this moment and the time the ceremony had been slated to begin. Mika was feeling quite a lot of déjà-vu currently. It was just like the night over five years ago when he stood in this very spot in the Hall of Princes as Paris berated him and Kurda for bringing an orphan child home with them. Like that night, Paris was pacing furiously upon the throne platform while Mika stood in front of the platform with his hands folded politely. Except this time they were standing under a massive wooden arch adorned with evergreen boughs and the hall was decorated to within an inch of its life, and it was just the two of them.

"I don't know what's gotten into you. All the years I've known you, your foresight and intelligence has always been your greatest strength. How could be so careless? How could you do this to Arra?To me? You have absolutely NO idea what you're doing!"

"Paris, I know how reckless this seems and I understand your frustration. But for the first time in... I don't even know how long, I know exactly what I'm doing." Mika replied carefully. "You just have to trust me on this."

"Of course I trust you." Paris groaned in exasperation. "It's just that you've always been so responsible, so calculating... it's a lot to process!"

"Tell me about it." Said Mika calmly, arching an eyebrow meaningfully. Paris's face fell abruptly.

"Oh, Mika. I'm so sorry." He said sadly. He swiftly descended from the platform and pulled Mika into a rough and unexpected hug. "I'm being too harsh on you. I know you wouldn't have done this without a good reason. After everything you've told me, I don't know how I didn't figure it out sooner."

"Paris, no. Don't do that to yourself." Mika replied with dismay, gently patting his old mentor's back. "I'm just sorry I timed it so badly. You put so much work into all of this."

Paris withdrew from the hug so he could hold Mika at arm's length.

"All that matters is that you're happy." He said determinedly. "But please tell me you let Arra down gently, at least. She deserves nothing less."

Mika smiled ruefully.

"She barely flinched. Once she had a moment to think about it, she said she wasn't even that surprised. She'll always be part of my family. I do love her, but in the same way I love you and Arrow. She understands. But yes, I did apologize profusely."

"Well, I am glad to hear that much, anyway." Said Paris faintly. "And I am looking forwards to getting to know Kurda better. I'm just glad you're happy - no matter how indirect a path you took to arrive there."

"Thank you, Paris. Thank you for everything you've done for me. I don't deserve you." Said Mika firmly.

"Mika, you've made me prouder than I could have ever imagined." Paris replied, his eyes watering. "I just wish you'd told us sooner. But I understand why you didn't. Please know that I will love and support you until my final breath."

"You going to be okay?" Mika asked gingerly.

"Of course. You need never worry about me. I will admit I was terribly excited for tonight, but I should not have been so heavy-handed throughout these preparations. I know I took it further than you or Arra wanted. I just couldn't help myself. Now if you excuse me, I need to go start informing the guests about the change of plans. We will simply have them head straight to the Hall of Khledon Lurt and begin the feast early! You go round up the cubs and have them start taking down the decorations."

Mika couldn't subdue his smile any longer. It crept across his face like the sun cracking through the clouds after a long storm.

"Hold that thought for just a minute, Paris." Said Mika breezily as Paris eyed him suspiciously. Mika glanced towards the closed entranceway and called out loudly,

"Alright, Arrow! Bring him in!"

At once, the vast doorway to the Hall of Princes whooshed open and Arrow came marching through. But he wasn't alone. Seba Nile was walking beside him wearing the most dapper crimson tuxedo to ever grace Vampire Mountain. And a few steps being him were Kurda Smahlt, Arra Sails, Larten Crepsley, and Wester Flack.

"You don't ALL need to help clean up!" Paris groaned loudly as the group approached. "We'll get the cubs to do it! Right now we need to round everyone up and tell them the feast is about to begin!"

"That's not why we're here, Paris." Arrow boomed merrily, his face alight with excitement. Paris regarded him with utter befuddlement. Arrow looked like he'd just won the damn lottery. Kurda looked equally happy but his eyes were visibly red and puffy. Arra looked slightly more subdued but still surprisingly pleased considering the circumstances. Then there were Larten and Wester who both seemed rather dazed.

"What's going on?" Paris scoffed as he glanced around at the bunch of them. "Let's go! We have work to do!"

"Paris! Take a breath." Mika suggested, still grinning as he draped his arm contentedly around Kurda's shoulders.

"Don't you think it would be a shame for all this effort to go to waste? You really outdid yourself." Arra piped up impishly.

"So... are... are Mika and Kurda getting married instead now? Is that what we're getting at?" Paris inquired hopefully, peering back and forth at the two of them. But to his rapidly increasing confusion, they chuckled and shook their heads.

"I think we've had enough excitement for one day." Said Kurda with a weak smile, looking up at Mika. "One thing at a time."

"Besides, Gracie isn't here." Mika added gently. "We could never do that without her. Also, I've come to the realization that this was never meant to be my wedding."

"Or mine." Arra interjected with meaningful glance at Mika. Mika then cast his gaze to Seba, who nodded back at him almost imperceptibly. The elderly man in the sharp tuxedo stepped forward so that he was a couple feet from Paris. Mika, Arrow, Kurda, Arra, Larten, and Wester simultaneously took several steps backwards as though they'd planned it.

And with that, Seba gently dropped to one knee and stared up at the shellshocked Paris with the purest expression of fond reverence anyone had ever seen before. Kurda realized only thing that came close was the way Mika had looked at him earlier. Seba's face was shining in a way that made him look several centuries younger.

"My dearest Paris." He began, voice trembling ever so slightly. "For centuries I have adored you from a distance as you devoted yourself fully to our clan. I have supported you in every way I could, and you have never failed to do the same for me. You have been my dearest friend, truest love, and my solitary soulmate in seven hundred years. The world was a crueler place when we were young, and we did not take the chances we deserved to. But I will not sit idly by any longer. Love is tenacious, and so are we. This is our time. So I ask you now: Paris Skyle, will you do me the highest honour of becoming my mate?"

Arrow muffled a cough that sounded oddly like "husband!". Meanwhile Paris looked dangerously close to fainting on the spot and Mika was fully prepared to catch him if need be. But the ancient Prince remained firmly on his feet. For several seconds he said nothing. His hands covering his mouth but his eyes were shining with emotions. At last, he slowly knelt so that he could be at eye-level with Seba. Then he cupped Seba's face in his hands and kissed him decisively.

"Yes. A thousand times yes." Paris gulped once they'd broken apart. "Let's take our turn. The gods know we've waited long enough!"

The two of them stood up, hands clasped together and tears streaming from both their eyes. Arrow scooped Paris up in an appropriately gentle version of his typical rib-cracking hug. Larten wrapped Seba in a rough embrace, and looped Wester in as well. Neither of them had a clue about any of this until an hour ago when Arrow had practically knocked down their guest room door to fill them in on the plan. As difficult as it was to look away from such a joyful sight, Mika found his eyes drawn to Kurda. But what else is new, right? He leaned down to plant a quick kiss on the blond General's foreheadhead. Their height difference wasn't major, but Kurda's head was conveniently level with Mika's collarbone so he was ideally positioned to rest his head against Mika's chest - which is exactly what he did. But there wasn't time to linger. Larten, Wester, and Arrow ushered Seba and Paris out of the hall to brief them on the logistics of the quickly approaching ceremony. That left Mika, Kurda, and Arra standing by the thrones. Kurda accidentally caught Arra's eye and he felt it would've been wrong of him not to say... something, anything.

"Arra, I'm really sorry." He blurted out clumsily. "I didn't mean-"

"It's alright." Arra quickly cut him off, smiling crisply. "Mika and I made a deal. I get to be the one to announce the change of plans to everyone. My way."

Kurda cringed but Mika chuckled reassuringly.

"It's alright, Kurda. Trust me."

Mika and Arra exchanged a quick smile before Arra turned her gaze back to Kurda. Her eyes were slightly red but there was a calm sense of purpose about her. She reached out and squeezed Kurda's shoulder firmly.

"He's your problem now. Take good care of him. That means killing all the spiders. Understand?"

"I understand." Kurda gulped past the lump in his throat. Mika looked rather emotionally compromised himself so he stepped away from the two of them to go inspect the arch.

"For what it's worth, I really am sorry. You didn't deserve this." Kurda added gingerly.

"It wasn't meant to be." Arra sighed. "He loves you, Kurda. So much. I wish you could've seen his face when he came to talk to me earlier. I mean, it would've been great if he'd figured that out sooner than later, but life isn't always fair. And I'll be okay. I always am. I'm just glad Mika will finally be happy."

Kurda couldn't resist, he reached out and pulled her into a quick hug. She stiffened but accepted it.

"This is why our daughter is middle-named after you." Kurda told her. "You'll always be part of our family."

"Aaaaand that's enough feelings for one day." Arra declared, gently detaching herself from Kurda. "You can come back now, Mika!" She added loudly. "Moment's passed."

"That's a relief." Said Mika as he rejoined them. He ran his hand through his hair, he was starting to look slightly frazzled. "Charna's Fucking Guts. This has been a long day."

Kurda arched his eyebrows at Mika while Arra shot him a glare.

"YOU do not get to say that." Arra informed him drily. Mika cringed.

"Really, I cant tell you how sorry -" he began emphatically but Arra threw her hands up in exasperation.

"We don't have time to have that conversation again! Now go get changed into those formal robes that make you look like a crow at a funeral. We have a wedding to throw."

***

And all at once, I've been waiting, waiting  
Ooh whoa, ooh whoa  
And all at once, you are the one, I have been waiting, waiting  
Body and soul, ooh whoa  
And all at once

Is the end of all the endings?  
My broken bones are mending  
With all these nights we're spending  
Up on the roof with a school girl crush  
Drinking beer out of plastic cups  
Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff  
Baby, all at once, this is enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parting notes:
> 
> 1) If you found the super sneaky The Office (Stanley to be specific) quote I slipped in, we can be friends.
> 
> 2) YES I AM FINALLY GIVING YOU A GAY VAMPIRE WEDDING! I'm sorry it's probably not the one you were expecting but y'all better be just as happy for Seba and Paris as you would've been for Mika and Kurda. They're old, okay?! They need as much time together as they can! This plot twist occurred to me a couple weeks ago and I immediately knew I had to go for it.
> 
> 3) There you have it! The angst train is officially parked! You're welcome! (for now lmao)
> 
> 4) Feel free to send your congratulations to the happy couples via the comment section ;) and don't forget to RSVP to the wedding! You're all invited!
> 
> Much love - see you soon!
> 
> \- Roxy


	13. You Already Know Me Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They say only time can tell,  
> You already know me well.  
> If it has to end in tears,   
> I hope it's in sixty years."
> 
> ***
> 
> Paris was pretty sure he was supposed to be "Father Of The Groom" at this wedding. Not "One Of The Grooms". But neither he nor Seba are complaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I SHOULDN'T feel bad for making you guys wait a week for this chapter when I literally went 7 years without updating but still... sorry guys!! Real life has been starting back up and also I've been really taking my time to make sure everything is written how I want it. BUT I am here and I am committed!!
> 
> Welcome to the best COVID wedding of 2020 by far. Take your seats!
> 
> (Freda - this one has lots of Arra just for you.)
> 
> Chapter 13: You Already Know Me Well
> 
> Song: Pushin' Time by Miranda Lambert (it's Paris and Seba's song now. Sorry, I don't make the rules).

Are we fools for rushin' in,  
'Cause I already dread the end.  
Lonely ain't no place to start;  
I guess that's just where we are.

Oh, how I remember well   
Sunset on September 12.  
I disappeared to get a drink;   
You still kept your eyes on me

Sometimes love acts out of spite,  
And good things happen overnight.  
Can't take it slow 'cause you and I are pushing time

***

The Hall of Princes was packed and the air was filled with a buzz of chatter from the excited guests. The decorations were absolutely stunning - the evergreen boughs were the perfect touch. Vampire Mountain had never looked so classy.

The only vampires that hadn't yet entered the room were Mika, Arrow, Arra, Larten, Wester, and of course Seba and Paris. The group was standing just outside the entranceway. Soon, everyone else in the mountain would know about the last-minute change of plans. But as far as they currently knew, they were about to witness the much-anticipated union of Sire Ver Leth and General Sails.

"I think that's everyone." Said Arra, peeking around the corner. Once she'd scanned the room, she turned back to Mika who was standing beside her.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Mika asked her, a fond look of concern softening his features. "I can be the one to tell them. I really don't mind."

Arra smiled and gave his hand a quick squeeze.

"Trust me. I've got this."

"Then they're all yours, General Sails."

She glanced around at the rest of them. Paris and Seba still looked a little dazed, but Arrow, Mika, Larten, and Wester looked positively elated.

"I'll see you up there." Arra told them, winking. And with that, she started down the long aisle that led up to the vacant throne platform. There was a ripple of confusion as she made her way; clearly the crowd had been expecting Mika to appear first. But they cheered and applauded for her nonetheless. When she arrived at the front of the room, she carefully lifted the hem of her dress and gracefully ascended onto the platform. She stood for a moment, silently surveying the room. There was a quiet sort of pride about her and it was clear she was entirely comfortable commanding a room and having all eyes on her. Kurda was seated in the front pew with the senior Generals; he had to admit she looked stunning. She was wearing her designated 'wedding' dress; it was custom made for this and she couldn't bear to let the tailor's hard work go to waste. It was ivory in colour, with off-the-shoulder lace sleeves. Elegant without being flashy - just like her. After several moments she raised her hand and the crowd fell silent.

"Good evening, my brothers and sisters. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for making the journey to Vampire Mountain. Your very presence here is an honour." She paused and cast her gaze around the room, smiling softly. In this moment, she was the physical embodiment of grace and poise.

"But sometimes the Vampire Gods have other plans for us. My dear friends, you travelled here to bear witness to a union between myself - General Arra Sails - and Sire Mika Ver Leth. But I'm sorry to tell you that isn't happening today."

A shockwave of unsettled murmurs rippled across the room. Arra pressed onwards, retaining every ounce of composure.

"I will cut straight to the truth of the matter and halt any rumours before they begin. If anyone asks you about it in the future, you can tell them exactly what I am about to tell you. There is no need for secrets, let this be common knowledge."

She took another pause to glance around the room.

"Sire Ver Leth will always hold a treasured place in my heart. He is a part of me, and I of him. But there is no love greater than what I have for the clan and what we stand for. It is my life's mission and I have had the astonishing luck of watching my dreams unfold before my eyes. But my work isn't finished - there's more I need to accomplish."

She faltered for a moment, but steeled herself and carried on.

"I cannot, in good conscience, continue to work towards my goals while sharing such an intimate connection to one of the Vampire Princes. I can tell you with unyielding confidence that Sire Ver Leth... Mika... would never give preferential treatment to anyone, and I can also tell you that I wouldn't accept it if he did. But I need to remove every last shadow of a doubt, from my own mind and yours. In my final moments on this earth before I pass into the afterlife, I want to look back on my accomplishments and know I earned every single one of them. I wish to die with my honour intact, and I want the same for Mika. The union between us simply wasn't meant to be. Thank you all for listening."

There was a brief stunned silence, but suddenly every single vampire in the hall shot to their feet and broke out in an approving round of applause, punctuated with whoops and cheers and toasts to Arra's honour. In their eyes, she had made the highest sacrifice - choosing servitude to the clan over her personal wants. Mika really had to hand it to her. He hadn't anticipated coming out of this scandal with his honour intact but she'd saved face for both of them. And she'd done it flawlessly. She scanned the crowd, until her eyes landed on Mika's. He was gazing back at her in astonishment, and she saw his lips silently form the words,

"Thank you."

She nodded back to him imperceptibly. The chorus of praise lasted several minutes. When she saw Arrow give the thumbs-up from way the entrance, she raised her hand and the room instantly fell silent once again as they sat back down.

"With all that said, it is my indescribable joy to tell you that you did not come all this way for nothing. There is a connection between two great vampires in this mountain far more tenacious than any of us can comprehend. A love that has burned for far longer than Mika or myself have walked this earth, or any of you for that matter. This celebration is centuries overdue, and being granted the privilege to officiate it, right here and now, has been the highest honour of my entire life. But I am not going to waste another second that rightfully belongs to them. My friends, please rise."

There was a tremendous noise as the astonished crowd scrambled to their feet once more, muttering curiously amongst themselves. The atmosphere in the room was positively electrifying. The band began to play, a hauntingly beautiful piece - "Canon In D". (Paris had chosen it himself for Mika and Arra's grand entrances despite their many passionate complaints).

"We'd best get going, then." Said Seba softly as Larten and Wester each linked their arms through his. The old man's hands were trembling in excitement. Wester was beaming like a child while Larten looked like he was holding his composure together by a thread.

"You first." Said Arrow, grinning jubilantly as he waved them off. "Meet you up there."

"See you shortly, my dear." Seba told Paris with a slightly delirious looking smile as he was escorted through the entrance by his two apprentices. Paris was moving his lips but seemed incapable of forming words. His eyes were filling rapidly and looked on the verge of overflowing.

"Mika... are you sure?!" Paris gasped weakly, shakily clutching Mika's hand in his.

"Well, it's a little late to change the plans again now." Mika replied quickly, but without the usual bite that accompanied his customary sarcastic remarks.

"My sons... my wonderful, incredible sons. I don't know how... I can't believe..." Paris struggled to find the words as he looked back and forth between Mika and Arrow who didn't look much more more emotionally stable themselves.

"It's your turn now. Like it should have been a long time ago. I'm sorry it didn't happen sooner." Mika whispered fiercely, wrapping Paris in a tight embrace. Arrow wiped several tears, enveloped the two of them in his powerful arms and they remained there for a moment, listening to the crowd cheer for Seba as he made his way to the front of the hall.

"We'd best not leave them waiting." Paris croaked out at last. The three Princes ended their embrace and Mika and Arrow took their customary places at Paris's sides - Arrow on the right and Mika on the left. They linked arms, and at last they strode into the hall.

It seemed to take the crowd a moment to piece together what was happening, but when they figured it out there was such an overwhelming cacophony of applause it almost drowned out the music. Mika felt like he living in a dream. But for the first time in ages it was a good one.

The six of them arranged themselves on the platform in front of the thrones. Paris and Seba on either sides of Arra, Mika and Arrow beside Paris, and Wester and Larten beside Seba.

"We are gathered here today to honour a union centuries in the making." Arra began. "It is often said that love is patient, that love is kind. But it is also enduring. And true love knows no limits. Neither time nor distance can temper something as pure and persistent as the love in this room today. But the wait is over. Ladies and gentlemen, please rise to honour His Highness Sire Paris Skyle and Noble Quartermaster Seba Nile. "

The following round of applause was somehow even louder than any that had preceded it. Arra had to raise her hand for silence once again when Paris began to speak. Normally his voice carried across a full room but today it was soft. His words were meant only for Seba:

"My dearest Seba

From this day forward I promise you these things:

I will laugh with you in times of joy and comfort you in times of sorrow.

I will share in your dreams and support you as you strive to achieve your goals.

I will listen to you with compassion and understanding, and speak to you with encouragement.

I will help you when you need it and step aside when you don't.

I will remain faithful to you for better or worse, in times of sickness and health.

You are my best friend and I will love and respect you, always."

Kurda couldn't help it, there was no stopping the quiet tears that escaped from his eyes as Paris recited his vows. His emotions had already been strapped to a roller coaster and sent on the ride of a lifetime, and the day was barely half-over. He knew he shouldn't look directly at Mika, because that would make it ten times worse. But he couldn't help that either. When his eyes found Mika's, he could practically feel his soul leaving his body. There was no haughtiness about Mika today, gone was his typical air of casual arrogance. It was as if his trademark facade had finally been eroded away. Kurda saw Mika's lips move, so slightly that no one else would have noticed. But to Kurda it was as clear as if he'd yelled it across the room.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Kurda mouthed back just as conspicuously. And when Mika smiled back at him briefly, Kurda felt like he was finally home after so many long years.

Seba repeated the same vows that Paris had recited and the room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

"Do you, Paris Skyle, take Seba Nile to be your husband for as long as you both shall live?" Arra asked, looking back and forth between the two of them. Meanwhile, Arrow looked delighted over the fact that she used the word "husband" instead of "mate".

"I do." Said Paris determinedly.

"And do you, Seba Nile, take Paris Skyle to be your husband for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do!" Seba affirmed, eyes brimming.

"Then with the power vested in me by the Vampire Princes, I now pronounce you a mated pair. You may kiss your husband." Arra finished triumphantly.

The onlookers erupted into cheers and applause once more, and Paris and Seba threw their arms around each other and shared their first kiss as a married couple. Larten looked on the verge of a total meltdown and Wester quickly slipped a handkerchief into his hand. Mika and Arrow both appeared to be fighting valiantly to maintain their composure but Kurda didn't think anyone would have judged them if they'd slipped up. At last, the band struck up a merry tune and Paris and Seba marched back down the aisle, side by side and hand in hand. Mika, Arrow, Wester, Larten, and Arra filed down after them and the ceremony concluded.

Kurda waded patiently through the throng until he reached the group. He and Mika had mutually agreed they should allow a bit of time to pass before they gave the public any sort of indication that their relationship had progressed beyond the realm of friendship. It wouldn't be a great look for Mika to be seen coupling up with someone else barely an hour after his cancelled wedding. But that was the farthest thing from either of their minds at the time.

Mika's back was facing Kurda when he approached, he was chatting with Arrow and a couple other guests. Kurda alerted Mika to his presence by gently prodding his lower back. When Mika turned around, the moment of surprise followed by delight on his face was the most stunningly beautiful thing Kurda had ever seen.

"Lovely ceremony, wasn't it?" Kurda asked quietly with a grin.

"Quite nice indeed." Mika agreed.

"Arra really killed it with that speech." Kurda admitted, his smile widening. "I don't know how she came up with the idea to spin it that way but she somehow made both of you look even more honourable, despite cancelling your wedding with hours to spare. I'm impressed."

"It appears I accidentally trained her to be even smarter than me." Mika replied casually. "We're just lucky Seba and Paris were willing to stand in for us. Really considerate of them."

Mika and Kurda glanced over to where Paris and Seba were standing; a very badly organized receiving line had formed around them. They were swamped by a sea of clamouring well-wishers but they were both still smiling in disbelief as they took it all in. The proceedings were being loosely refereed by Arrow and Larten who were making sure the crowd kept moving so as not to overwhelm the happy new couple.

"Yes. They look extremely inconvenienced." Kurda laughed.

"I don't know about you, but I could use a strong drink." Said Mika, shooting Kurda a meaningful look.

"Is that a euphemism for something, or do you really just want to go get a drink?" Kurda smirked.

"No, seriously. I'm thirsty."

They broke away from the crowd and made their way to the Hall of Khledon Lurt which was decorated in the same manner as the Hall of Princes which for the first time in centuries, would sit empty for the duration of the feast so that nobody had to miss out. It was a bit of a special day, after all. Mika led Kurda over to a table in the corner on which sat an extremely impressive collection of liquor bottles, a much wider variety than was usually found in Vampire Mountain.

"I don't know what it says about me as a person, but this bar setup was probably the only wedding planning I was actively involved in." Mika commented lightly as he opened a bottle of dark whiskey, scooped some ice into a brass goblet, and poured.

"I know exactly what it says about you as a person." Kurda snorted.

"Wait til you become a Prince." Said Mika firmly, raising his eyebrows. "You'll understand why I drink."

Kurda laughed sharply.

"Are you really going there right now? I think I need a few years to mentally recover from today before I can wrap my mind around that concept."

"You'd be good at it." Mika shrugged as he poured a second drink which he pushed into Kurda's hands. "I hear you, though. I won't bring it up again."

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

"But I'll still be thinking about it." Mika added slyly.

Kurda rolled his eyes but slipped his arm around Mika's waist and gave him a quick kiss anyway. They slowly made their way over to their favourite corner of the room where they always ate their meals, and sat down. Within several minutes, the rest of the guests began flooding into the hall and soon their corner was populated with Arrow, Arra, Larten, Wester, and Vanez as well.

"How's Paris doing?" Mika asked Arrow.

"I don't think it's hit him yet. I just saw him almost walked into a doorframe. But he sure looks happy." Arrow replied with great satisfaction.

"Seba is pretending he does not enjoy all of this attention." Larten added with a wicked grin. "But he is not fooling anyone."

"Well, it's about damn time they had their moment. It was long overdue." Said Mika as he watched Paris and Seba make their way to the front of the room to the sounds of thunderous applause. After a few moments, Paris raised his hands and the enthusiastic guests reluctantly fell silent.

"Well." Paris began, his blue eyes alight with emotion. "This was certainly not the day I've been planning for the past several months. So first of all, thank you Sire Ver Leth and General Sails for THAT." His tone was gruff but he was smiling. The guests all turned and looked towards their table, chuckling good-naturedly. Mika gave the crowd an apologetic grimace-smile type of thing as well as a polite wave. Arra rolled her eyes and called out,

"Sorry, Sire Skyle! Won't happen again."

"We shall let you off with a warning this time." Paris replied with mock seriousness and the crowd laughed.

"Second of all - from the bottom of our hearts, we would like to express our sincerest gratitude for the outpouring of support you have all showed us today. The world is certainly changing - days like today give me hope that it is changing for the better." Seba added. He turned away from the crowd to face Paris directly and he lowered his voice a bit. "Paris, my oldest friend, my only love... I am so honoured to be standing here with you today."

"And I with you." Paris replied softly as one tear slipped down his cheek.

***

I didn't plan on fallin' fast;  
I didn't know I could be kissed like that.  
Now I'm tradin' miles for minutes.  
This bed's too big without you in it.

Sometimes love acts out of spite,  
And good things happen overnight.  
Can't take it slow 'cause you and I are pushin' time

You and I are pushin' time

And they say only time can tell,  
You already know me well.  
If it has to end in tears,   
I hope it's in sixty years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it!! Congratulations Paris and Seba! Next chapter is extremely close to completion so you should be seeing that... soon. It was originally all going to be one chapter but it got really long but mostly I couldn't choose between the two songs I wanted to use so I just split it. 
> 
> It's occurred to me that THIS story is reaching it's natural end. But Mika and Kurda's story has quite a bit more to come. So I expect Call It What You Want will have 1-2 more chapters then I'll post a third installment and make it a nice little trilogy. I figure if I've kept my momentum for over 2 months now, I think I can manage one more!
> 
> Nagging helps, of course. Please leave a comment if you're enjoying this so far :) if you're on Tumblr feel free to come say hi to me at MikaVerLeth (where the shitposting happens) or FestivalOfTheUndead. 
> 
> Hope this lived up to your expectations! Thanks for reading!
> 
> \- Roxy


	14. Don't Want You Like A Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Flashback to my mistakes, My rebounds, my earthquakes  
> Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me  
> And I woke up just in time, Now I wake up by your side"
> 
> ***
> 
> Mika and Kurda are finally happy. That's it. That's the summary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, guys. All I can say is FUCKIN' FINALLY I GET TO POST THIS CHAPTER.
> 
> Chapter 14: Don't Want You Like A Best Friend
> 
> Song: Dress by Taylor Swift (yet another song that I designated as Murda anthem the very first time I listened to it).
> 
> ENJOY.

Our secret moments  
In a crowded room  
They got no idea  
About me and you  
There is an indentation  
In the shape of you  
Made your mark on me  
A golden tattoo  
All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation  
My hands are shaking from holding back from you   
All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting  
My hands are shaking from all this 

***

So began the feast. The food came out in copious amounts and was zealously devoured. The liquor flowed just as steadily and spirits were high. But the fun really ramped up when it came time to give speeches. Larten and Wester were to deliver their ode to Seba together. But once they got up to the front of the room, Wester began sobbing until he was no longer coherent. Nobody understood what he was saying so Arra made a hand-slicing-throat gesture at Larten until he sighed resignedly, shushed Wester and took over the whole operation. Larten was the picture of decorum until he reached the very end -

"Seba, I have not deserved even an ounce of the patience and understanding you have shown me throughout our many decades together. You prioritized not only Wester and myself, but the entire clan as well, above your own interests. You have been my unconditional guiding light, my North Star, my rock... I can only dream of one day becoming half of what you are. My friends, let us raise a glass and toast the greatest Vampires among us: long live Seba Nile and Sire Paris Skyle!"

The sound of the toast echoed mightily off the walls as the guests cheered and slammed their goblets together. Larten barely made it back to the table before he completely broke down.

"Not so easy, is it?" Wester hissed tearfully as Arra patted Larten's back as comfortingly as she could while also looking highly entertained by the whole thing. Meanwhile, Mika glanced over at Arrow.

"It's our turn. You ready?"

"I forgot about speeches." Arrow groaned. "Think I can just read the one I wrote for you and Arra last week? It's still in my pocket."

Mika's jaw dropped slightly as he studied his friend with great incredulousness. Arra and Kurda cracked up.

"I... no, Arrow. I don't think that would work for several reasons. Just come with me, we'll wing it."

"I can't just pull a speech out of my ass like you can!" Arrow groaned, face going pale.

"What are you talking about?!" Said Mika impatiently. "You talk in front of crowds all the time."

"Not like this!" Arrow protested, aghast. "This is too important! You go do yours, I'll write something down quick. Kurda, pass me your pencil and paper."

Kurda frowned in confusion, then facepalmed.

"I don't necessarily carry those things with me everywhere I go! I'm very sorry Arrow, but I can't help you."

"Then what do you do if you're out somewhere and need to make a map?!" Arrow grumbled in frustration. "Nevermind, not important right now."

"Well, figure something out. I'm going up. I'll buy you some time." Said Mika, as calm as a lake on a quiet morning.

"Good luck." Said Kurda encouragingly, gently touching his arm as he got up from the table. Mika took his place at the front of the room, looking entirely in his natural habitat as the crowd cheered for him. He looked around for a moment, secretly revelling in the attention. These were his people, after all.

"Paris, I don't even remember what it felt like to live in a world where I didn't know you." Mika began, casting a poignant look at his old mentor. "Honestly, I doubt it's worth remembering. I was young when you found me. When you asked me if I was eighteen, I told you I was. But that wasn't true. I was sixteen."

"I know, Mika." Paris sighed loudly, grimacing. "You weren't as good a liar as you thought you were back then!"

A roar of laughter and applause went up from the crowd. Mika grimaced earnestly.

"I didn't know much of anything then." He continued. "But I did know that from the first moment I met Paris Skyle, I trusted him with my life. He took me in and even before he ever brought me to Vampire Mountain, when I was with him I felt like I was home. A few months later, we picked Arrow up in our travels. My gods, Paris, I don't know how you didn't throttle us on a daily basis. I was a conceited prick -"

"You still are!" Arrow hollered across the room.

"- and Arrow was essentially feral at that point. Completely useless." Mika carried on, with a quick scowl at Arrow, who guffawed. "What a combination we were! Even before we knew you, Paris, you were already one of the greatest Vampire Princes in history. I'll never understand what you saw in us or why you didn't punt us both off a cliff the first chance you got."

The crowd chuckled fondly. There was a great bellowing laugh from the corner that again came from Arrow. Mika was self-aware enough to know he was giving the guests a bit of a treat with this speech. He was dropping his guard just enough to show them a side they weren't familiar with. Uncharacteristic of him, certainly. But nothing about this day, or even the past few years had been normal. Not to mention sleep deprivation coupled with strong whiskey had him significantly more mellow than he would have been on a typical day.

"And yet here we are. It's no coincidence Arrow and I both became Princes, Paris. And not because you ever once allowed us to benefit from your rank or connections, since that would've been nepotism as you told us so often. We're Princes because you spent decades giving us the best parts of you, then set us loose into the world. It was inevitable."

At that was when Mika made the mistake of making eye contact with Paris yet again. Over two hundred centuries worth of pride and adoration in his mentor's eyes pierced through his soul like a cannonball. One second he was his usual eloquent, nonchalant self, and the next his vision was blurring and his throat was burning. It was suddenly all too much. One more moment and it could have devolved into another Wester situation but sometimes, life is kind. Sometimes life gives you a friend like Arrow. Arrow didn't miss a beat, he shot up from the table and joined Mika at the front of the room before the guests even realized Mika faltered.

"I remember the day I walked into Paris's cell and told him I'd gotten engaged to a human." Arrow carried on seamlessly. The crowd fell silent. Everyone knew Arrow's history, but for him to bring it up in this manner was unprecedented. "I thought he would be angry, or disappointed at least. But all he said was: 'Arrow, do you truly love her?' And I told him I did. And he said, 'Will you promise me one thing?' I said yes. And he said 'Allow me to attend your wedding'."

Arrow's voice was holding steady but nonetheless Mika gently nudged Arrow's elbow with his own, a discreet show of support. He knew exactly how painful it was for Arrow to unlock those memories.

"So, Paris came to my wedding." Arrow continued, smiling although his eyes were wet. "As did my closest friends. Of course, my wife... Sarah's family didn't know about Vampires. They simply thought I was strange." He paused to chuckle sadly. "So we pretended we were all related; that Paris was my father. Except I never felt like I was pretending. Because that's who he was in my life. Who he still is."

Mika and Arrow simultaneously turned to look at Paris. He was putting on a brave face, nodding to them in acknowledgment. Mika pulled himself together and took over again:

"They say it takes a village to raise a child. We may not have been children, but we sure as hell acted like it when we first showed up here in Vampire Mountain over two centuries ago. Seba, you are as much a piece of our identities as Paris is. I can't count the number of times you kicked our asses in the Hall of Games, how hard you worked to make us better, the hours you spent teaching us about every last corner of this place. The effort you put into making Vampire Mountain the greatest place on earth... I can't describe it. It wouldn't be what it is if we didn't have you. We wouldn't be who we are. None of us."

Seba scoffed, blew his nose, and waved his hand dismissively.

"Not to mention the number of times you came barging into my cell and dumped me out of my coffin when I was too hungover to make it to training on time." Arrow chipped in. "I like to think you had so much fun whipping us into shape, we inspired you to take on two apprentices of your own." He raised a hand in Larten and Wester's direction; they clapped and nodded appreciatively.

"To make a centuries-long story short, I can't imagine two people that deserve each other more than the two of you." Said Mika. "No one else could compare. You're what we should all aspire to be. The clan is stronger because of you. We don't deserve either of you. I know I don't. But that doesn't mean I don't wake up every day of my life and try to be half of what you are. So what I'm saying, if I'm saying anything, is... Paris and Seba, here's to you."

Then it was over. Mika felt dizzy as he made his way back to the table amidst the crushing roar of (yet again) even more applause. He felt completely drained. But in a strangely satisfied way he'd never known before. For once he didn't feel like there were a thousand loose ends flailing around in his mind, all on fire. All he felt was peace.

Kurda gripped his hand under the table when he sat back down.

"You did so good!" Kurda whispered, visibly blinking back tears. "Mika, that was incredible."

Mika made a point of leaning towards Kurda with a very serious, poignant look in his eyes before he smirked and whispered,

"I know."

"And humble to boot! Charna's Guts. You truly are something else." Kurda retorted.

"You knew what you were getting into." Mika murmured, torchlight flickering in his dark eyes. He gave Kurda's hand a gentle squeeze and Kurda honestly wanted nothing more than to call it a night and drag Mika back to his coffin right that second. But sometimes, it's not about you.

So they stayed right til the bitter end, til so many hours had passed the only people remaining in the hall were themselves and the mainly the core group; Arrow, Arra, Larten, Wester. There was also Paris and Seba dancing around tipsily - a beautiful sight. And an old, drunk guy sitting in the corner vomiting spectacularly - a much less beautiful sight. And with that, the wedding reception of Paris and Seba concluded.

***

Say my name and everything just stops  
I don't want you like a best friend  
Only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it off   
Carve your name into my bedpost  
Cause I don't want you like a best friend  
Only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it off 

Inescapable  
I'm not even going to try  
And if I get burned, at least we were electrified  
I'm spilling wine in the bathtub  
You kiss my face and we're both drunk  
Everyone thinks that they know us  
But they know nothing about

***

Kurda bore witness to the exact moment Mika finally disengaged 'Sire Ver Leth Mode' for the day. One second he was effortlessly engaging in a lively conversation about politics with a couple of Generals, looking as though there was nothing in the world he'd rather be doing. The next second, the Generals bid him goodnightand left the hall, and Mika plodded over to the table where he promptly sat down and buried his head in his arms. Kurda had been helping Arra pick up discarded goblets - they were antiques and very important to Seba - when Arra pointed over Kurda's shoulder and said,

"I think it's past his bedtime."

"I think you're right." Said Kurda with a grimace as he absorbed the sight of Mika about to pass out on the table. He headed over.

"Hey, Mika." Kurda murmured, placing his palm on Mika's back.

"I wasn't sleeping!" Mika blurted out loudly, quickly snapping back upright.

"I know you weren't. But you should. It's time to go to bed." Kurda added softly.

"Bed?" Mika repeated hopefully, gazing up at Kurda and blinking slowly.

"Bed." Kurda confirmed, running his hand slowly along Mika's shoulders. "Come on."

Kurda began to steer Mika towards the door. They were both significantly tipsy but not quite blazingly intoxicated. Nevertheless, they took their time. Mika paused at the table where Arrow was seated, conversing with another straggler, a General named Kaden Stone.

"See you tomorrow." Mika mumbled, contentedly patting Arrow's head. "Good speech. Thanks for everything."

Arrow's face split into a broad grin and he slowly stood up so he could wrap his arms tightly around Mika.

"Was a big day. Proud of you." Arrow slurred unabashedly.

"Couldn't have done it without you." Said Mika in a slightly cracked voice, squeezing Arrow back just as hard. When their embrace ended, Kurda reached for Mika's arm to continue their journey to the door but Mika's focus was diverted to Paris who'd just come ambling over to say goodnight. Paris was slurring even more than Arrow, which was extremely comical. Kurda watched them for a moment but his attention was pulled away when Arrow abruptly grabbed his shoulder and looked him dead in the eye.

"Kurda Smahlt, when I first met you, I did not like you." Arrow informed him with great seriousness. Kurda took it in stride.

"I wasn't exactly in your fan club either." Kurda replied lightly. "But look at us now."

"Yes, I have come to consider you a friend." Arrow affirmed, his intense gaze unwavering. "I still think your political stances are garbage, but as a person I've learned to appreciate you for what you are."

"Gosh, Arrow. I'm touched. That's high praise coming from you."

"But I am going to tell you this once, and only once: if you hurt Mika, you're finished." Arrow continued fiercely. "I don't understand it, but he loves you, Kurda. Gods, he loves you so fucking much. I've never seen him like this. So just... be careful."

Honestly, Kurda knew its was only a matter of time before Arrow gave him "the talk". There was a small part of him that was amused by the absurdity of it. But recognized the gravity in Arrow's tone and knew he was absolutely not fucking around. So he met the tattooed Prince's gaze determinedly and said,

"I would never hurt him, Arrow. I'd rather die."

Arrow gave him a curt nod and extended his hand. Kurda returned the gesture and they firmly shook on it. Then to his surprise, Arrow yanked him into a sudden and bone-crushing hug.

"Then welcome to the family!" He declared loudly.

"Gods, Arrow. What are you doing to him?" Mika inquired hoarsely as he returned to them.

"Gave him the talk." Arrow replied bluntly, releasing Kurda. Mika rolled his eyes.

"You know you don't have to protec-" Mika began with a reproachful look at Arrow.

"It's fine." Kurda interrupted, smiling reassuringly. "I promise."

"Alright. Whatever." Mika yawned, throwing his hands in the air. "Goodnight, Arrow. See you tomorrow."

"Take tomorrow off." Arrow suggested, looking over at Mika critically. "You look terrible. Just get some rest. I'll take care of things down here. I told Paris the same."

"Don't be ridiculous. I'll be good to go after a few hours." Mika scoffed. While visibly swaying.

"I'll be as ridiculous as I want." Arrow argued stubbornly. "You can both owe me one."

"Fine." Mika grunted defeatedly.

"Good. Carry on." Arrow dismissed them with a wink before rejoining General Stone at the table. It was clear he had no intention of going to bed before his shift in the Hall began.

It felt like a decade later when Mika finally stumbled through the door of his cell with Kurda close behind. Mika made a beeline for his coffin.

"So are you sleeping in that fancy formal robe, then?" Kurda commented offhandedly.

"You know I only put it on so you could take it off." Mika retorted, grinning drunkenly back at him.

"Smooth." Kurda admitted. "Now get over here."

Finally, their clothes had been discarded in pile on the floor then at last, at long last they collapsed into Mika's huge mahogany coffin.

"That was a long day." Kurda murmured, draping his arm across Mika's chest and resting his head on his shoulder.

"It's been a lot more than a day." Said Mika quietly, kissing Kurda's forehead. "I was so stupid, for so long..."

"Shhhh. It's fine. We've moved past it." Kurda replied.

"You know... for the past eight hours all I've been thinking about was getting in this coffin with you." Mika informed him drowsily.

"Go on." Kurda whispered encouragingly, tilting his head upwards to pepper Mika's neck with kisses.

"But I wanna do it right... make it special." Mika continued slowly as his eyelids drifted shut. "Make it the best we've ever had."

"I'm listening." Kurda told him attentively, while knowing beyond a shadow a doubt Mika was about to fall asleep and they weren't going to get that far. But he wasn't bothered, they had all the time in the world.

"So first... I'm just going to rest my eyes for a few minutes."

Kurda exhaled slowly, while tracing shapes on Mika's collarbones with his fingertips.

"Take as long as you need." He breathed into Mika's ear, then brushed his lips against his forehead. "I'll be here when you wake up."

***

All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation  
My hands are shaking from holding back from you   
All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting  
My hands are shaking from all this 

Say my name and everything just stops  
I don't want you like a best friend  
Only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it off   
Carve your name into my bedpost  
Cause I don't want you like a best friend  
Only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it off 

***

Mika slept for 12 hours straight. When he finally did wake up, there was nothing gentle or romantic about it and Kurda couldn't help but laugh. It was so very typical.

"WHAT TIME IS IT?!" Mika yelled suddenly, sitting bolt upright. Luckily the coffin lid was open or he would've had a hell of a concussion.

"It's okay." Kurda told him in a low, soothing voice similar to what one might use if trying to calm down a panicked grizzly bear. He sat up as well and looped one of his arms around Mika's shoulders. "Arrow said he'd look after all the Prince stuff today. Remember? You're not late for anything.

For the briefest fraction of time he looked surprised to see Kurda there in the coffin with him. Then his face lit up like the sun as the memories of yesterday came flooding back. Kurda couldn't blame him for needing a second to process that. He'd done the same thing himself when he'd woken up two hours prior.

Mika wrapped his arms contentedly around Kurda and slowly lay back down, gently pulling the blond General down with him. Kurda did not resist in the slightest. He lay upon Mika's chest and savoured the way he could hear his heartbeat gradually slow as he came down from the brief moment of panic. Kurda nestled his head in the space between Mika's chin and clavicle and closed his eyes. Mika sighed deeply and ran his hands slowly up and down Kurda's back.

"Yesterday was fun." Mika noted much too casually after several minutes. Kurda laughed softly in agreement.

"You... you could put it that way. I certainly wouldn't have predicted the outcome. All that time I spent bracing myself to watch you and Arra walk down that aisle, gone to waste!"

He felt Mika tense up, and immediately regretted his choice of words.

"I'm so sorry, Kurda." He murmured. "I'm sorry for everything. But I'm going to spend the next hundred years making it up to you."

"I think I'd like that." Kurda whispered, raising his body just enough so that he could press his lips against Mika's. Lightly at first, but gradually deepening until the familiar fire ignited within them as they slowly, intimately re-introduced themselves with each other's bodies, taking great care not to skip a single detail.

"So, how was that for a comeback?" Mika inquired politely when it was all said and done. He was wearing a rather self-satisfied smile as he flicked his gaze over to Kurda who was curled up next to him.

"That was one of your better performances." Kurda replied breathlessly.

"Well, good for me then. You did alright yourself."

"You remembered to do that thing I like. Several times in fact. Bonus points for that." Kurda added with a devious smile.

"And what thing are you referring to?" Mika asked innocently.

"Oh please. You know exactly what thing."

"Ah, thaat thing." Said Mika with mock realization. He slowly rolled over onto his side so he could lie face to face with Kurda. "Lucky I remembered. It's not like I thought about this every single time I closed my eyes for the past how many months or anything."

"Pervert." Kurda laughed, leaning in and kissing his forehead. "Glad to know your mind lives in the gutter."

"It wasn't just the physical stuff, Kurda." Mika said, suddenly looking more serious. "Not by a long shot. While you were gone, I thought of everything about you. All the fucking time. Missed the way you talk, how you throw in big words just to confuse everyone. The way you moan my name when... you know. How smart you are. The way your hair always looks good, even though we live in a rock. I don't understand how that works. It just looks so damn good all the time."

Kurda snorted inelegantly at that.

"The way you know who you are and don't apologize for it. The way you see right through me and my bad attitude. The way you challenge me. In fact I'm pretty sure that's why I fell in love with you. And I had no idea it was happening until I was in way over my head." Mika added in a manner that was offhanded but entirely deliberate.

They lay in silence for several minutes after that.

"You know, I remember the first time I ever looked at you differently." Kurda spoke up softly. "It wasn't love yet, but it was slippery slope from there."

"Was it that night at the Festival decades ago when we duelled for the first time and I beat you, but I was a really good sport about it?" Mika answered with complete seriousness.

"No. Gods, no. That was when I decided you were a prick." Kurda retorted. "This was way after that. Grace had only been with us a couple months. You'd just arrived back to the mountain from some mission you'd been on with Arrow and a few of the Generals. You'd been gone six weeks or so. I was sitting in the Hall of Khledon Lurt with Gracie when you all came in. You were all dirty and bloody and gross -"

"Where are you going with this?" Mika grumbled reproachfully.

"Let me finish." Kurda pressed on. "I don't remember what the mission was, but I knew right away it hadn't gone well. I could tell by your faces. Arrow and the rest headed right for the ale but you looked right at me and came straight over. You didn't say anything but you picked Gracie up and just held her. Then after a while you just looked at me with the strangest expression on your face and said you were really glad to be home. It was the first time I saw sort of you let your guard down."

Mika was staring up at the ceiling with a pensive, faraway look in his eyes. Kurda repositioned so could rest his head back on Mika's chest.

"I remember that day now." Mika muttered, seemingly talking more to himself that Kurda. "And that mission. Everything went wrong. We got stuck in a bad situation and I had to make a snap decision. But a General died because of it. He was young. It was his first big mission... he'd been so excited. We couldn't even find his body to bring back."

Mika closed by eyes and grimaced as though the memory caused him physical pain. Kurda didn't say anything.

"It was rough time. All I thought about on the trip home was getting back to Gracie." Mika added heavily. "When I finally had her back in my arms and you next to me, I felt like I could breathe again."

Kurda felt a rush of guilt.

"I vaguely remember hearing that someone had died... but I didn't know anything more about it at the time. I'm so sorry, Mika. I wish you'd told me."

Mika shook his head slowly.

"I couldn't talk about it, how it was my fault. I knew you knew something was wrong but you didn't ask. You just sat there with me... And I knew I'd be alright. Because even then, you were just as much a part of me as Gracie was. I needed you both. I just didn't didn't know it yet."

They lapsed into another long silence.

"Want to know the actual moment I realized I was in love with you, and actually knew it?" Said Kurda gently.

"Definitely."

"It was the time in the hotel when we went on that trip. We crashed someone's wedding reception at 3:30am and I taught you how to dance. Well, I tried. When you lowered me into that dip, and then we just stayed like that for a minute... that was the moment I knew for sure."

Mika groaned.

"Can't it be a different time? That was so embarrassing."

"Nope. That's the one." Kurda grinned impishly. Mika exhaled with mild disdain but didn't seem too bothered by it.

"Want to know when I figured it out?" Mika asked.

"You told me. It was yesterday as you were writing your marriage vows to Arra." Kurda snorted.

"No, that was when I realized I had to DO something about it." Mika corrected him loftily. "The moment it first clicked in my mind that I loved you was about two years ago. We were arguing; it was that time you wanted to abolish the Hall of Flames as a Trial of Initiation -"

"That trial has a fatality rate 60% higher than the rest!" Kurda exclaimed, immediately becoming incensed all over again. "It makes no sense to keep it! There's not even any skill involved, it's essentially random chance! Stop laughing!"

"I'm sorry." Mika chuckled, running his fingers through Kurda's hair. "You're just proving my point. This is exactly what I love about you. You stand up for yourself and what you believe is right. That's why I always respected you, even years ago when I didn't like you."

Kurda huffed in exasperation but allowed his hair to be stroked. It felt nice, after all.

"Anyway, we had a hell of an argument as I'm sure you remember. Arrow got frustrated and left eventually. But you know how competitive I am. I wanted to have the last word. Anyone else would've backed down; nobody wants to offend a Prince. You know how boring that is for me? But like I said, you've never been afraid to challenge me. And you never let me have the last word. So that was how I knew I met my match. It's always been you. Always gonna be you."

Kurda exhaled a soft breath of laughter, rolled back over and and propped his chin up on his fist so he could see Mika better.

"And what was so different about that particular debate?" He asked, eyes sparkling. "That was far from an isolated incident. But you've always been a lot more interesting to argue with than Arrow, I'll give you that."

Mika smiled lazily up at him.

"The only different part was that as you were citing statistics to me - quite loudly - I just looked at you and suddenly everything changed. I can't explain it, Kurda. I just knew."

Kurda arched his eyebrows pointedly.

"...After which point I proceeded to handle it quite terribly." Mika concluded reluctantly. "I was such an -"

"Idiot, I know." Kurda interrupted swiftly, silencing him with a long kiss. "I was there. Don't beat yourself up too hard though. I wasn't exactly open about my feelings either."

"That's why I never took it any further." Mika replied with a slight frown. "You've always worn your heart on your sleeve. You don't lie to yourself the way I do. So that night I told you we should stop sleeping together, and you just agreed... so I took you at face value. And then I told you about Arra and you took it so well, thought it had to be a sign that moving on was the right thing to do."

Kurda began to laugh uncontrollably. Mika narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"I'm sorry!" Kurda chortled, tears streaming from his eyes. "It's just so gods damned funny to me. I was trying to be happy for you, Mika. I guess I'm a better actor than I realized. You want to hear a really good story?"

"By the way you're laughing, I'm honestly not sure."

"Too bad. Remember that night Arra got her General nomination? And you kissed her in front of everyone?"

"Of course I remember. I remember seeing you clapping for us in the crowd without a care in the world."

Kurda laughed even harder.

"I don't know if you noticed, but I got EXTREMELY fucking wasted after that."

"I noticed."

"Well, as I'm staggering back to bed later that night, I had to stop and you know, throw up for a few minutes."

"As one does."

"So I'm sitting there on the floor by the water closet trying to get my life together, and who happens to come walking past?"

Now he was laughing so hard Mika could barley understand him.

"Who?"

"Fucking Arrow! Of course! Just my luck, right? And even better, he happens to be in a caring mood! So he asks me what's wrong, I tell him to piss off, and the bastard sits down there on the floor next to me!"

"Very rude of him. When's the funny part?"

"I'm getting there! So he just keeps asking me and he's clearly not giving up, so I guess then my brain just snaps and all of a sudden I'm crying like a baby and telling him everything. And I mean EVERYTHING that happened with you up til that point. About us, the bar, the kiss, then the motel, then the summer fling... all of it."

Mika's jaw dropped and his face went blank.

"But he never said-"

"THAT'S the funny part!" Kurda choked out hopelessly. "He was so drunk he didn't remember any of it the next day!"

Mika stared back at Kurda for a solid minute, blank-faced. He blinked a few times. His lips moved but no words came out. Then finally he dissolved in laughter that rivalled the intensity of Kurda's. They laughed and they laughed until their ribs ached and they were both crying. When it finally subsided, they lay in perfect silence for an indeterminate amount of time. Minutes, hours, it didn't matter. It was pure peace, and they each savoured every second of it.

Eventually, Mika turned over so he could give Kurda another kiss.

"I don't know how many hours we've been in here now, but I feel like it's been a lot."

"It's definitely been a lot." Kurda agreed carelessly, returning the kiss. "I'm guessing we've missed several meals at this point. I'm starving."

"I can't remember the last time I spent all day in bed. I don't think I ever have." Said Mika contemplatively. "But I should to go down to the Hall and swap out with Arrow. He probably hasn't slept since the reception." Said Mika apologetically.

"We all know he takes throne naps." Kurda smirked, and Mika chuckled softly.

"True. But I should still give him a break. It's just the two of us on duty for now. We told Paris to take the full week off to spend with Seba. Figured they deserved a honeymoon."

"You're so considerate." Kurda commented innocently. Mika slowly sat upright, yawned and stretched. Then he glanced down and eyed Kurda with a wayward smile.

"Come keep me company on the day shift? Everyone else will be going to sleep soon." He suggested hopefully.

Kurda rolled his eyes but grinned in affirmation.

"You go send Arrow on his way. I'll go to the Hall of Khledon Lurt and pick us up some breakfast."

Mika's face shone with total adoration. It was the most perfect thing Kurda had ever seen.

"Kurda Smahlt, have I told you yet today that I'm completely fucking in love with you?"

"Yes, but it hasn't gotten old yet."

Kurda sat up as well and reached for the nearest piece of clothing he could see. It was one of Mika's t-shirts. He pulled it over his head and looked down at himself. His platinum hair contrasted sharply with the dark material and it was at least a full size too big for him but he immediately decided he liked it.

"This is mine now." He informed Mika with great seriousness. Mika laughed again and it was music to Kurda's ears.

"I told you, you look great in black. Just let me know when you're ready for me to take it off."

Kurda rolled his eyes (yes, again) and pulled Mika back in for one last kiss. Then they headed down to the Hall of Princes together, side by side.

Better late than never.

***

Flashback when you met me  
Your buzz cut and my hair bleached  
Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me  
Flashback to my mistakes  
My rebounds, my earthquakes  
Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me  
And I woke up just in time  
Now I wake up by your side  
My one and only, my lifeline  
I woke up just in time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE YOU GO!! The Angst Train has finally come to a complete halt and you may now disembark. 
> 
> This has been the last "real" chapter of Call It What You Want. 
> 
> Fact #1: An epilogue is coming. But an actual fun one, it'll be a nice long chapter, maybe the length of this one or possibly longer. It does not advance the plot any further and is more of a standalone oneshot... you'll see!! But I couldn't think of a better place to put it so you can look forwards to that.
> 
> Fact #2: I have good news and bad news for you - I have decided to just go for it and make this a full trilogy, this story having been the middle segment. I figured if I kept my momentum for this long I can go a while longer yet. I could end it here and now but I decided want to finish Mika and Kurda's story the way I've been imagining it for years now. Part 3 will be up next week sometime. First chapter still needs to brew in my brain a little longer but it's on my radar and it's coming. 
> 
> There you have it!! Mika and Kurda finally found peace. Seba and Paris are honeymooning. Arrow is still Arrow. Arra handled it all like a boss. Wester should absolutely NOT be alive at this point in the timeline but I realized that MUCH too late so we're just gonna let him chill out and do his thing I guess. I've said it before but I write with minimal regard to canonical events and timelines. Life is short, my attention span is shorter, so I write what feels right.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed that! See you soon!
> 
> \- Roxy


	15. Epilogue (I'll Go Anywhere With You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurda felt his breath catch in his throat and for a moment. Mika has this way of being all aloof and flippant one moment, then saying something backhandedly heartfelt with absolutely zero warning. Exactly like now. It throws Kurda for a loop every time. But that wasn't the most unexpected component to this particular conversation.
> 
> ***
> 
> EPILOGUE. Mika and Kurda experience a weekend of domestic bliss as they take a stab at being Hot Soccer Dads. Complete with a rented SUV. Zero plot to speak of, just simple tooth-rotting fluff. Y'all deserve it for all I've put you through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys!! Hopefully this hits the spot after all the angst I've put you through the past few weeks. This is kind of a few separate-but-connected stories within one. There's a lot going on but I tried my best to make it all make sense. 
> 
> Also, I pay tribute to the ancient TVF fics several times here because I could. not. resist. If you know, you know.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Epilogue:

Driving:

They didn't mean to let things get so out of hand. Honestly. The trip was never intended to be a fully immersive experience into a completely different culture than anything they'd ever experienced. It was supposed to be a simple in-and-out mission. Both Mika and Kurda had breezed much more dangerous circumstances throughout their years of serving the clan. But like dominos toppling in a line, one thing led to another. The first domino was Grace's weekly check-in via telephone. She made a particular comment that struck a bit of a nerve on her pair of dedicated dads as they were chatting about her much-anticipated upcoming soccer tournament:

"Yeah, the rest of the parents usually come to the weekend tournaments. Some of the moms think I'm an orphan but they give me extra juice boxes so it's fine."

A few minutes later after they'd said their goodnights, no sooner had the phone line gone dead than Mika and Kurda looked at each other dead in the eye and said "We're going to that tournament."

Simple enough. They could flit in, watch the tournament from a conspicuous distance, then flit back home.

"That's not going to help the fact the other parents think nobody cares about her." Kurda pointed out grimly.

"You're right." Mika agreed thoughtfully. "We really need to sell it."

That was more of less how they ended up sitting side by side in a rented Cadillac Escalade outside a motel on that Thursday evening. Seeing as neither of them had a drivers lisence, Headmaster Redford had to take care of that detail for them. He'd been a little apprehensive when they showed up in his office and informed him they would be attending the junior girls soccer tournament alongside the human parents that weekend, but even half-vampires still answer to the Princes. So Aydon resignedly made some calls and the car showed up outside their motel room several hours later.

"I know I've asked already but just humour me." Said Kurda lightly from the passenger seat. "You DO know how to drive, right? You're absolutely sure?"

"Of course I know how to drive, Kurda!" Mika insisted as he painstakingly adjusted the position of the steering wheel. "Paris taught Arrow and I both almost a hundred years ago. It's a universal life skill. I'm an excellent driver. Well, better than Arrow anyway."

"Only a hundred years ago and better than Arrow? Yes, that definitely reassures me. Thank you." Kurda shot back. "And you did tell Aydon we needed a car, right? Because this is a bus. Completely ridiculous."

"He said this would fit in with what the other parents drive, and isn't that the point? We're going deep undercover in plain sight." Mika shrugged as he began to twiddle with the stereo.

"There's a fine line between fitting in and looking like idiots." Said Kurda as he rummaged curiously through the glove box. "Hey, this looks useful. 'The Young Driver's Official Handbook'. Perhaps you should study before we- aaaand you're already driving. I'll just shut up then."

"It's fine, promise." Said Mika in what would have been a comforting manner but the fact that he accidentally reversed into the curb didn't help sell it. Although once he got the car into drive, Mika was actually did okay. He was confident, collected, and Kurda had to admit he looked pretty good there in the driver's seat dressed in crisp new "human clothes" complete with some fresh sunglasses, and his right hand resting casually on the top of the wheel.

It was a nice twenty seconds of that before they exited the parking lot. To Mika's credit, he just isn't familiar with the rules of the road. Where he's from, he more or less makes the rules.

"YOU DON'T GET RIGHT OF WAY JUST BECAUSE YOUR CAR IS BIGGER THAN THEIRS!" Kurda yelped in horror as Mika blew through a four way stop without batting an eye.

"The rest of them were stopped! They were waiting for me to go!"

"That's not how this works! That's not how ANY of this works! Oh my gods, would you STOP cutting people off?"

"It's not my problem if they can't keep up with me."

"THEY'RE GOING THE SPEED LIMIT!"

"The what?"

"You can only go as fast as the signs say you can! That's why they're called speed limits!"

"There are certainly a lot more cars on the road than when I learned to drive." Mika mused, sounding much too relaxed for someone who was currently ricocheting back and forth between lanes as though he was auditioning for a Fast and Furious movie. Kurda maintained a firm grip on the Holy Shit Handle, eyes darting between Mika and the road ahead of them.

"Yellow light means slow down, not start a damn race!" Kurda groaned. "I hate to break it to you but nobody here cares that you're Mika Ver Leth! The rules apply to you!"

But Mika was not listening to Kurda.

"HONK AT ME AGAIN, DIPSHIT. I WILL END YOU!" Mika was roaring out the open window. "What the - Kurda! That man just flipped me off! Did you see that?"

"Probably because you almost took off his mirror - AND NO YOU CANNOT TURN AROUND AND GO AFTER HIM!"

"He was SO rude!"

"You almost ran him off the road!"

"I wanted to get in that lane! He should've yielded!"

"Charna's Guts, Mika. You need to pull over and read the manual! These rules didn't exist when you learned to- I SAID PULL OVER, NOT MERGE ONTO THE FREEWAY!"

"I did pull over!"

"ONTO A FUCKING ON-RAMP!"

"At least these cars know what speed to drive!"

"BECAUSE THIS IS THE FUCKING FREEWAY, MIKA."

"And what the fuck is THAT thing?"

"THAT'S A TRANSPORT TRUCK AND I PROMISE IT WILL NOT GET OUT OF YOUR WAY."

"Oh."

But believe it or not, things started looking up relatively quickly. At least once they'd managed to safely exit the freeway. After a few more near misses, Mika was humbled and it only took about an hour and a half of driving around the city before he more or less got a handle on the universal rules of driving. Kurda read the manual and coached him through novelties like roundabouts and four way stops. Eventually they drove through a McDonald's (to be clear, they didn't actually "drive THROUGH". They managed to use the Drive-Thru safely) to reward themselves for a successful first endeavour. Once the food was procured, they parked in the mostly-empty lot and dug in. At least Mika did. Kurda was still feeling a little queasy at first so he sat quietly and observed as Mika happily demolish a Big Mac.

"You said you didn't want anything!" Mika protested after a few minutes as he watched Kurda slip his hand into the little box of French fries.

"You almost killed us at least five different times. I'm entitled to compensation." Kurda replied drily. Mika rolled his eyes but picked up the fry box and handed it to Kurda.

"I'm driving us back to the motel, by the way." Kurda added with a critical glance Mika's direction. "Watch closely. I'll show you how it's done."

"Be my guest." Mika dissented politely. The two of them switched spots. Kurda performed a textbook-flawless blind spot check, placed his hands at ten and two on the wheel, adjusted the seat and mirrors, and pulled slowly out of the lot.

Within thirty seconds of pulling out of the parking lot, someone in a red convertible whipped in front of him and he had to slam his entire body weight onto the breaks. He then unleashed a steady stream of cusses so wicked, they would've made the toughest vampires blush.

Mika glanced over at Kurda with his eyebrows raised.

"Shut up." Said Kurda.

Wildly Inappropriate:

"I can't wait to see her face when she realizes we're here!" Kurda declared giddily as they rounded the corner and joined the lineup of vehicles containing parents waiting to pick up their junior soccer players from the front of the school. Once the children were collected, so would begin the two hour drive to the city where the tournament was held.

"I think I see her!" Said Mika eagerly as he pulled the car closer.

Sure enough, there she was standing amidst a gaggle of girls, all clad in matching hoodies and track pants with their names on them. One of the girls started towards the silver minivan in front of them and Grace began to follow her - it had to be her friend Talia. Headmaster Redford mentioned Talia's parents had offered Grace a ride. But no need for that now.

"Mika, open the sunroof!" Kurda ordered.

"The what?"

"The glass window in the ceiling! It should open!"

Mika obediently reached upwards.

"No, there's a button!" Kurda corrected him. "I saw it in the manual somewhere! It should be on the left side of the wheel."

"I don't see it. Just wave out the window before she gets in the Sandersons' car!" Said Mika impatiently

"It's right there, I see it! Just let me do it!" Kurda huffed impatiently, leaning his entire torso across Mika's body to try every single button on the side console. They got there eventually, after finding the buttons for the windshield wipers, washer fluid, child locks, high beams, and burglar alarm. When the sunroof finally slid open, Kurda popped out like a jack-in-the-box to wave exuberantly with both arms.

"Gracie! Hey! Over here!" He hollered eagerly. "Look! We made it!"

The stunned disbelief on Grace's face was completely worth the astronomical effort it took to make this happen. She began to smile when she realized she wasn't hallucinating, and ran towards them excitedly.

"What are you doing here?!" She screeched. "I didn't know you knew how to DRIVE!"

"He doesn't." Kurda muttered.

"We couldn't miss your big tournament!" Said Mika happily from the driver's seat. "Get in!"

"I'm trying!"

Figuring out how to disable the child locks for the back seats was an endeavour that took several minutes but finally there they all were, driving along together like a perfectly average family.

Eventually Kurda pointed out the the fuel gauge seemed to be getting low, so they pulled off the highway and found a gas station. Grace was the one who eventually located the button that opened the gas cap while Mika and Kurda flipped confusedly through the owners manual looking for clues.

Kurda was tasked with entering the store to pay for the gas and pick up a few snacks. When he got back to the vehicle, he was treated to the rhythmic melody of a gangster rap song pounding through the stereo.

"Doin' a hundred while I puff on the blunt

And rollin' another one up, we livin' like we ain't givin' a fuck

I got a revolver in my right hand, 40 oz on my lap -"

Kurda sat in the passenger seat for a minute, eyes flicking back and forth between Mika, who was casually bobbing his head and rapping along with the radio as confidently as if he'd penned the lyrics himself. And Gracie who was sitting in the back seat singing every word while fist-pumping enthusiastically.

"They see me rollin', They hatin', Patrolling and tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty, Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty, Tryin' to catch me ridin' -"

They rapped their way through another verse and a half before Mika noticed Kurda's look of exasperation. He quickly reached up and changed the station. Kurda huffed as he watched Mika and Grace exchange a guilty glance in the rearview mirror.

"Grace, these lyrics are wildly inappropriate." Said Mika gruffly with the unmistakable air of someone who was trying to cover his ass much too late. Grace rolled her eyes in the back seat. Mika shot her an apologetic look but Kurda noticed and swatted his arm.

"Mika! What kind of example are you setting here? How do YOU even know all the words?"

"It was on the radio every five minutes yesterday while we were driving around." Mika explained politely. "It's catchy."

"Forgive me for being so concerned for our safety I did not pay attention to the musical ambience at the time!" Said Kurda vehemently. "And since when do YOU speak fluent gangster?" He added, turning around to gaze sternly at Gracie. She shrugged unconcernedly and responded,

"My friends have a lot of cool CDs. We have dance parties."

Kurda facepalmed so hard it left a mark. Mika snickered at him, put the Escalade into drive, and they resumed their voyage.

After another hour and a half, they'd reached the hotel. They checked in and dropped their luggage off in the room. Kurda read through the laminated itinerary Headmaster Redford had given him. They had about two hours to kill before it was time to rally the troops and head to the field for the first game. Grace ran into some of her teammates in the hallway who declared they were about to check out the hotel swimming pool with their families. So Grace, Mika, and Kurda followed suit.

The pool area was overrun with parents and small girls. Grace immediately took off to join her friends, and a group of parents eagerly beckoned Mika and Kurda over to their row of deck chairs once they realized who they were. They were greeted with choruses of,

"So YOU'RE Gracie's dads! We've heard so much about you!"

"We were starting to think she was making you up! Ha ha, kidding of course!"

"So nice to finally meet you!"

Welcome to the par-tay! Beer's in the blue tub, coolers in the red!"

"Jesus Christ, Sharon. It's 10 am."

"You know what, Rob? That kind of attitude is why your wife left you for your paralegal."

Mika groaned internally and reached out to Kurda via their mental link.

MVL: I hate it here.

KS: Too bad. Put your war face on and let's make some friends.

So that's exactly what Mika did. And to be perfectly honest, Kurda had never been so attracted to him. He quickly rearranged his face into a charming, easygoing grin and Kurda did the same.

But then Mika opened his mouth and Kurda nearly punted him into the pool.

"So lovely to meet all of you!" Said Mika amicably. "I'm Mike, and this is Kyle."

KS: I DON'T RECALL US DECIDING TO USE CODENAMES FOR THIS.

MVL: I'M SORRY! I PANICKED!

KS: Kyle? KYLE? REALLY?!

To their credit, their plastered-on smiles never wavered as the rest of the parents introduced themselves and shook their hands in turn. They pulled up some deck chairs of their own and sat down with the group.

"So, what do you do, Mika?" Asked the man known Rob.

"I'm aren't allowed to get too specific, but I work in government. Lot of high-level military involvement." Said Mika mysteriously.

"Wow, that sounds exciting!"

"It has its moments." Mika replied casually.

"Whatever pays the bills, am I right?" Said Dave. "How 'bout you, Kyle?"

"Mike and I actually work at the same place." Said Kurda with a tense smile.

"But I outrank him, actually." Mika added automatically.

"It's not a competition, honey!" Kurda told him in a voice that was very sweet and very fake.

"Ah, aren't you two just the cutest couple!" Said one of the other moms, squeezing Mika's arm. "So brave! What an inspiration."

"It's not that bad, honestly. Just a lot of paperwork." Said Mika unconcernedly. Kurda rolled his eyes.

"You know, I just love when the Pride Parade comes to town!" Said Sharon with a meaningful look at them. "They always play such fun music. And they're so polite! I just think it's so great."

Mika smiled back at her with a blank expression.

MVL: What the fuck is she talking about? Who's polite? What parade?

KS: Just smile and nod, Mike.

Game Face:

The hard truth of the matter was, there were actually very few differences between Vampires and upper-middle-class soccer parents. Vampires equipped themselves with swords, daggers, maces, and body armour when it was time to go into battle. Soccer moms arrived in tinted SUVs and emerged armed with designer leather tote bags, oversized sunglasses, acrylic fingernails, and monogrammed thermoses full of alcohol.

So what a youth soccer tournament has in common with a life or death battle? Simple. Victory is the only acceptable outcome.

In Soccer World, every parent abides by 3 rules:

1\. The coach is incompetent.

2\. The referee is the devil.

3\. My child is the best soccer player in the history of the universe and it's not up for debate.

"The Festival of the Undead is more civilized than this." Kurda observed bleakly as he sat in his lawn chair and watched the one of the moms following the coach down the sidelines hollering about how she was prepared to call her lawyer if her child was put in goal again. They couldn't hear what the coach's response was, but the mom threw a juicebox at a bird as she stomped away so evidently she didn't get the answer she wanted.

"I've executed people that were better sports than that." Mika agreed drily.

Mika and Kurda kept their distance from the group during the first game. They cheered for Gracie and brought her water during breaks. It was a difficult game but her team scraped a narrow victory. So far so good.

It was around the middle half of game two when things started getting interesting. Mika had been inadvertently adopted by a clique of dads who passed the hours by drinking beer out of coffee mugs (not fooling anyone), complaining about their jobs to each other, and loudly critiquing the refs and the coaches every few minutes.

Just before halftime, the opposing team narrowly snuck a goal through the net. All of the team parents had some thoughts about it but Mika's were by far the loudest.

"THERE'S NO WAY THAT WAS IN. ARE YOU PEOPLE BLIND?" He roared, standing up furiously. The rest of the parents followed suit and the ref turned and gave them a dismissive shrug which didn't exactly help his case.

"Mike, honey. I would like to keep my eardrums intact." Kurda chided in exasperation as he gently pulled Mika back down into his lawn chair. One of the dads passed him a beer and that soothed him for several minutes. At least until three minutes later when the tallest girl on the opposing team collided unapologetically with Grace's friend Talia, slamming her down into the grass. Talia got up and walked it off but the team parents just about started a riot. Talia's dad rushed the field to give the ref a piece of his mind. Mika eagerly began to follow him but Kurda restrained him once again.

"Just behave, would you?!" Kurda groaned. "Stop calling attention to yourself!"

"I'm blending in! Wasn't that the idea?" Mika protested, gesturing at the crowd that was forming on the field. Both coaches were there, and another dad had stormed the field. It seemed his daughter was the one who'd knocked Talia over. The ref was now trying to keep it from turning into a fistfight.

"Bob needs my help!" Mika added determinedly.

Kurda rolled his eyes and told Mika in the sternest tone he could muster:

"You've known Bob for five minutes. This is a children's soccer game. We will not partake in the level of insanity these parents seem to think is acceptable. Keep your ass in that chair or else."

Mika glared daggers at him but did as he was told. Kurda pensively sipped from the inconspicuous thermos of wine Sharon had insisted he take. She promised he'd need it. He was slowly realizing she'd been right. This was wild.

Then Gracie missed a shot on net and everything more or less imploded from there. That in itself wasn't a big deal. These are eight year old girls, not Olympic athletes. The big deal was when the coach let out a yell of frustration and threw his clipboard at Grace. It didn't seem like he was intending to actually hit her with it but it came awfully close. The coach was assailed by chorus of boos and verbal abuse from the line of parents and Mika rose from his chair instantly, fully intending to start a fight. Fuck keeping a low profile, nobody throws a clipboard at his daughter. But as quickly as he reacted, Kurda somehow beat him to the punch. The blond General bolted across the field, picked up the clipboard and proceeded to chase the coach around beating him over the head with it while hollering obscenities.

So Mika smirked to himself, cracked open another beer, and joined in the chorus of parents cheering for Kurda. Or, "Kyle" as they knew him.

"Kyle's badass!" Bob declared.

"He has his moments." Mika agreed with a grin.

Eventually the refs caught up with them and Kurda was scolded for several minutes. But he returned to the sidelines to a hero's welcome. He was holding half of a broken clipboard and looked rather stunned.

"Oh honey, they didn't ban you from the tournament, did they?" Asked Barbara with great concern. "They tried you boot me last year. You know you can sneak back in through the food booth entrance, they'll never see you!"

"They let me off with a warning" said Kurda with a bemused smile. "Since it's my first infraction... does this kind of thing happen a lot?"

The parents nodded unconcernedly.

"Wow. Alright then. Anyway, bad news is, the coach has been banned for the rest of the tournament." Kurda added, grimacing. "Either we find a new coach by the end of halftime, or we forfeit."

That was how Mika and Kurda found themselves the unofficial co-coaches of the St. Alucard's Owls junior girls' soccer team for the remainder of the biggest tournament of the whole year.

"I want you to remember this moment next time you tell me violence is an acceptable way to solve a problem." Kurda grunted at Mika as he handed him the clipboard he'd duct-taped back together, and also the whistle he'd ripped unceremoniously from the coach's neck during the chase.

"I don't care what you say." Mika chuckled softly. "Watching you chase that asshole around was the best thing I've ever seen."

"You don't throw clipboards at children!" Said Kurda fiercely. "I shouldn't have tried to beat the snot out of the man, but he should really consider a different line of work."

"I think that came across loud and clear while you were bashing his head in." Said Mika gently.

Mika is a legend among Vampires for his unparalleled combat skills and Kurda had a similarly strong reputation for being an exceptional strategist. Neither of them know a whole lot about soccer, but they tackled the problem the only way they knew how.

During the break between games two and three, Mika demonstrated some of his trusty intimidation tactics the girls could use to their advantage. Meanwhile, Kurda held an intervention with Brianna, Sadie, and Abby who were in a fight and had been refusing to pass the ball to each other, which was causing major problems.

It took a bit of adjusting, but by the start of the third game they were starting to get it together and by halftime, they'd managed to tie the score. But the other team was tough. It would not be an easy victory.

Kurda patrolled the field and monitored the other team, assessing their areas of weakness so he could report back to Mika who remained in the thick of it.

KS: Number 10 has a weak left kick. Tell our forwards to keep that in mind.

MVL: Nice. What else?

KS: Their defensive players don't get along. They won't pass to each other. We can use that against them.

MVL: If only they had a conflict resolution specialist on their side like us.

KS: And their goalie is good when she's focused, but one distraction and she's done. Tell them to get up in her face. Do jazz hands or something.

MVL: Good work, Coach Smahlt.

And that was how they secured ultimate victory. It came down to one glorious moment when Gracie was lined up with a clear shot on the other team's net. She distracted the goalie with a fake-out dive to the right, then whipped back around left and drove the ball right past her. Then it was all over. The parents swarmed they field joyfully and the girls hugged and cheered. Mika and Kurda scooped Gracie up in their arms. It was a truly perfect moment to finish off what had been an incredibly stressful day.

"We're so proud of you!" Kurda exclaimed, kissing her on the cheek.

"You're a weapon. We've taught you well." Mika added smugly. "Did you see the goalie's face when you tricked her? So good!"

"Gods, what a day." Kurda groaned as he set Gracie back down. "I'm glad it's over."

She looked up at him bemusedly.

"Uh, Dad... You know we have to do it all again tomorrow, right? We played all the easy teams today. Tomorrow we have three more games against the inner city kids. They're like, really good."

Kurda and Mika exchanged a look.

Charna's Fucking Guts.

Not-Honeymoon:

The second day was even more brutal than the first but not only did they survive, they came out on the very top. And if they were being honest, it was the most fun either Mika or Kurda had had in a long time.

When it was all said and done, the time finally came to load everyone back up into the army of minivans and SUVs and deliver the girls back to school. Gracie fell asleep as soon as the Escalade door shut behind her and she looked so peaceful that Mika and Kurda couldn't bear to turn the radio on. So they drove back in silence. But the best possible kind of silence. It was such a strange contrast from their norm. This weekend they'd traded thrones, weaponry, and wooden barrels of ale for SUVs, lawn chairs, soccer gear, Bud Light, and wine coolers. It was all so surreal but on that drive home they realized it hadn't exactly been bad.

"I don't want to go home. At all." Kurda admitted softly as they drove. Mika's left hand was on the steering wheel while his right hand was resting lazily on Kurda's thigh.

"We have to." Said Mika gently, glancing over at Kurda for a moment.

"I know. This was just... nice. I wanted to come out here to support Gracie. I didn't expect to enjoy all the extra stuff."

Kurda could see the corners of Mika's mouth turn upwards in a tired smile but he kept his eyes on the road.

"You looked really hot chasing that coach around with the clipboard." Said Mika.

Kurda muffled a laugh and playfully swatted Mika's shoulder.

"I know what you mean, though." Mika added meaningfully. "Even though this isn't our life, it was a nice change of pace."

"What would we do tomorrow if we were Mike and Kyle?" Kurda pondered out loud, resting his head on Mika's shoulder as they drove.

"We'd wake up at sunrise in a house in the suburbs that's way too big for two people... make breakfast. Watch the news. Get in our stupidly expensive cars and drive to work... put in eight hours... come home. Make supper. Actually no, order takeout. Then we'd watch something trashy on TV for a few hours... go to bed and do it all again the next day." Mika mused.

"Is it weird that that sounds amazing to me?" Kurda wondered aloud.

"I can think of worse things." Mika agreed, gently squeezing Kurda's thigh.

"I can't believe people really live like that." Said Kurda thoughtfully, closing his eyes. "No horrifying violence... no threats of war constantly looming..."

"No giant rooms full of spiders in the basement." Mika added flatly. "Fuck it, let's retire and become hot suburban soccer dads."

"You would never." Kurda snorted.

"You're right." Mika chuckled softly, moving his hand so it was now holding Kurda's, resting on the center console. "We all know I'll die of old age on my throne in the mountain eventually. But if I got to plan out my next life... I think I'd give this a try. As long as I had you there with me. Otherwise there's no point."

"I'll go anywhere with you." Said Kurda offhandedly with a lazy smile up a Mika.

Mika didn't say anything, just smiled in the impossibly charming way that made Kurda's heart swell up three sizes. And on they drove, allowing themselves to temporarily suspend the crushing weight of life-or-death responsibilities that awaited them back home. At least until the car stopped, they could simply exist as Mike and Kyle.

But the illusion didn't end the moment they dropped Gracie back off at school. Apparently Mika had other plans.

"What the hell is this?!" Kurda inquired with great confusion as they slowly walked into one of the nicest suites at the best hotel in town. A far cry from the motel they'd stayed at on the first day of the trip.

"Paris and Seba got a honeymoon. Why shouldn't we? Figured we might as well kill two birds with one stone since who knows when we'll both have time to leave the mountain again." Mika explained with a self-satisfied smile as he flopped down on the huge bed and made himself comfortable.

"What was wrong with the motel?" Kurda gasped.

"You're with a Vampire Prince now. Only the best for you." Mika replied loftily.

"I know for a fact you have absolutely no money." Kurda retorted, but he was smiling too hard to put much attitude into it. This room was gorgeous.

"Well now you're ruining it. Besides, what would I do with money?"

"So how did you book this room? There's no way you could do it without a credit card."

"Made Aydon book it for me. Side note, I think I should get a credit card."

"What on earth would you do with a credit card?"

"I'd just... have it. For emergencies."

"You're incorrigible." Kurda laughed breathlessly, joining Mika on the bed and straddling him so he could sprinkle his face with kisses. Then he paused for a moment. "How is this a honeymoon? We're not married, or mated, or whatever your preferred terminology is." Kurda wondered, fixing Mika with a quizzical look. Mika stared back up at him with a mischievous half-smile.

"I figured since we never do things in order, why start now? First we had a kid-"

"FOUND a kid." Kurda corrected him.

"Found a kid. Then we sort of started getting along, then we kissed, then we hated each other for about a month, then we accidentally had sex, aaand then we-"

"Don't even start!" Kurda groaned, slipping his hand over Mika's mouth. "We'll be here all night."

"Do you have somewhere better to be?" Mika asked lightly. Kurda rolled his eyes.

"By the way, I have every intention of spending the rest of my life with you." Mika added matter-of-factly, still staring back up at Kurda. "Call it mates, husbands, life-partners, non-heterosexual-soulmates... I truly do not give a fuck. The only thing I give a fuck about is that I finally have you all to myself."

Kurda felt his breath catch in his throat and for a moment. Mika has this way of being all aloof and flippant one moment, then saying something backhandedly heartfelt with absolutely zero warning. Exactly like now. It throws Kurda for a loop every time. But that wasn't the most unexpected component to this particular conversation.

Kurda watched as Mika calmly pulled off the wide silver ring he wore on the middle finger of his right hand. He has a couple of rings, but this one is by far the most special. It's part of a matched set. The original being Paris's. Paris had two more made, one for Mika and one for Arrow. They'd each received theirs the day they first became Generals and hadn't taken them off since. Mika took a close, thoughtful look at it and turned it over in his hand once or twice before holding it out to Kurda.

"Here. One step closer to sealing the deal. Arra and I never did the whole ring thing so I didn't think of it til now. She never liked jewellery. Anyway, I don't really feel like going to a store after the weekend we've had, so just take this one."

Kurda's jaw just about hit the floor. He didn't know what was more shocking, the simple fact that Mika was handing over his most treasured material possession. Or the fact that he was doing it so casually it might as well have been a potato chip.

"No way." Kurda replied flatly. "Put it back on. I'm not taking that from you."

"Why not?" Mika frowned.

"Because! That's... yours! You can't give it away. You've never taken it off, not even when you fight. It means the world to you."

Mika sighed in exasperation but was still smiling as he slowly moved from lying down to sitting upright with his back propped comfortably against the pillows and headboard.

"Sarah wore Arrow's." Mika informed Kurda purposefully. "Didn't fit her but she kept it on a chain around her neck. It was the only thing he owned that meant anything, so he gave it to her. And she wore it til she died."

Kurda didn't know what to say to that. So he exhaled deeply and leaned back into Mika.

"And Seba's wears Paris's now. Saw it on his hand last week." Mika added with a glimmer in his eye. "Take it or don't, Kurda. My feelings aren't hurt either way. All I'm saying is that I want you to have it."

Kurda's mind was still reeling but he kissed Mika's forehead and gently picked up the ring to get a better look. It was old and scratched but still gleamed in the light. The letters engraved on the band stood out as clearly as ever: M. V. L.

"I love it, Mika. Thank you." Kurda whispered. He went about trying it on each of his fingers one at a time while Mika chuckled quietly. Of course, it was too big. That wasn't a surprise. But Kurda did already have a thin gold chain that he wore around his neck so he simply put it on that.

"Looks way better on you." Mika affirmed.

"I have something for you too!" Said Kurda suddenly, remembering. He leaned over the side of the bed to rummage in his duffle bag.

"Better be my engagement ring." Said Mika, faking great seriousness.

"Shut up. You're not funny. Here you go." Kurda retorted, withdrawing a brown paper bag and handing Mika. "I picked it up earlier today when I slipped out to get more Gatorade for the kids. Just too bad you didn't have it during the game, you would've fit right in with the wine moms."

Mika slowly withdrew the gift and Kurda watched as his face split into a maniacal grin.

It was one of those overpriced double-walled vacuum-sealed 30oz steel travel mugs that will keep your coffee hot for eight hours, or your alcoholic beverage cold for the entire duration of your child's sporting event. This particular one was matte black, with some custom engraving on the side. There, in a classy cursive script it read: Fuck You, I'm Mika Ver Leth.

Kurda had known Mika would love it. He didn't expect him to be moved to tears over it. Mika slowly cupped his hand over his mouth and stared at it in disbelief. Then Kurda realized his eyes were brimming and he quickly picked up the box of Kleenex from the beside table and pushed it into Mika's hands.

"It's just a travel mug!" Said Kurda. "It's not exactly a two hundred year old ring, but -"

"Kurda, this is the best thing anyone's ever given me! How did you... I can't even... you're amazing, you know that?"

"I love you, Mika. Every incorrigible, foul-mouthed, sassy piece of you." Kurda murmured, pulling him in close. Mika carefully set the mug down on the bedside table so he could give Kurda his full attention.

The not-honeymoon was flawless. Kurda woke up the following day to the one of the more magnificent sights he'd ever seen in his life. It was simply Mika, wearing nothing but boxers and a t-shirt, casually frying bacon in the en-suite kitchen. He didn't know Kurda had woken up yet so there he was, making breakfast and singing quietly to himself. Kurda snuck closer and rolled his eyes when he realized Mika was actually rapping under his breath. "Ridin' Dirty" to be specific. He looked so at ease, completely unrecognizable from the arrogant, haughty man Kurda had first met decades ago. Every time Kurda was sure he couldn't fall any harder, he was proven wrong.

"Is room service out of the budget?" Kurda teased, slipping his arms around Mika's neck from behind.

"Good morning to you too, sleeping beauty. And I thought you wanted the whole I'm-a-human-and-I-live-in-a-house experience. That's what I'm going for here." Mika huffed.

"I love it!" Kurda insisted. "You're the best, I don't know how you think of this stuff."

"I'm more than just a pretty face, you know." Mika retorted lazily.

"I seem to recall last time you told me that, my response was that you're lucky you have a lot more going for you than just your face."

Mika narrowed his eyes for a moment, then grinned.

"I remember the exact night you said that. When we got drunk and danced in the bar."

"Exactly." Kurda confirmed. "And I didn't tell you this at the time but that's actually saying a lot. Considering you also happen to be very fortunate in the face department."

"Can you not seduce me while I'm trying to cook?" Mika smirked. "Bacon is an art. I can't afford distractions."

"Fine. Where's the rest of the breakfast?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, what are we having with the bacon?"

"I don't follow."

"Mika, did you walk to the store and only buy bacon?"

"...Yes?"

"Oh, gods."

"What?! I have just bacon for breakfast all the time."

"I know YOU do. Hey, look. There's the room service menu. Hmmm... alright, here we go. I'm ordering us mimosas, waffles, and a fruit plate."

"Mimosas for breakfast? Settle down, Kyle."

"You're the one who called this a honeymoon... Mike. No rules."

"You're the one who said we're not married."

"Whatever. You gave me a ring. I gave you an... uh... travel mug. We have a kid. I feel like that checks enough of the boxes to have a mimosa for breakfast." Said Kurda slyly. Before picking up the phone to dial room service, he reached up and kissed Mika on the cheek once more. "So, call it what you want."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That brings us to the final conclusion of Call It What You Want!! Thank you once again for joining me on this adventure and sorry for making you cry.
> 
> Part 3 of the Mika/Kurda trilogy will be posted within the week. It will be called Endgame because I have zero creativity when it comes to titling my stuff, but it works in this case. You'll see. 
> 
> I'm going to warn you here and now. At some point during Endgame we will be catching up to the plot of Books 4-6. (if that makes you panic, take a few deep breaths and remember how little regard I have for canon events). Also for timeframe reference, Gracie and Darren are very close to the same age. 
> 
> That's it! Thanks everyone! Cheers.
> 
> \- Roxy


End file.
